Hey, there is clay with modern love.life. And in this video, we're going to talk about what to do.
If your ex is rebound is better than you. This can be really tough for a lot of people, you know, if
they say, okay, great. You know, me and my ex, we broke up for whatever reason. And now, you know,
there I am, I'm looking, I'm seeing the things on Facebook, on Instagram, on whatever social media
thing is popular now. And it looks like, you know, my, my ex is rebound. They had hooked up
with someone, they have this new rebound, there's some sort of like, you know, millionaire with a
Lamborghini. And, uh, you know, they're, they're a supermodel male or female supermodel. They spend
their life jet setting around the world, all this sort of stuff. Um, and here I am, I'm just some
random person middle-class whatever what gives did, did I come out the short end on this?
Like maybe, maybe they really were dating down to be with me or something like that.
I know it can sometimes feel that way, but it's not necessarily true. Okay. First of all,
we have to understand that like, okay, for a large part, what we are seeing of our ex is life and
the rebound relationship is going to be through the lens of social media. That means that like,
okay, people are going to be curating. What they share with you on social media. You know, very few
people are actually going to be like, Hey, you know, here I am, I'm feeling really depressed.
I just broke up with my ex. I don't know if I made the right choice, all that stuff on social media.
No, they're going to be trying to create this image that their life is perfect because that,
as we all know, is how you win at social media is you create the best life that looks perfect.
That makes everyone jealous so that you can get as many likes and shares and whatever
on social media. Because of course, that is how we create self-esteem is by getting
shares and likes because on social media, okay, I'm, I'm being a little bit snarky here.
That is how a lot of people view social media. They, they view it as this very curated thing.
Everything has to be very, um, very staged. Everything has to be very intentional. Everything
is put out for the purpose of trying to present this image that we have the best, most perfect
life out there. Very rarely will you actually see the true side of someone's life, the doubts,
the fears, the anxieties, the concerns, the worries that they have, the challenges that
they're facing, unless they're, you know, just trying to fish for compliments or sympathy
or something like that. Very few people are actually genuinely authentic on social media.
So we have to look at it through this lens. And that is that like, okay, if this is how your ex
is going to, uh, be, be treating their social media account and how they're going to be
portraying their rebound relationship, obviously they're going to be trying to present it in the
best possible way. That's to say, you know, in order to make it look like we're constantly
winning at life, we have to make it look like, okay, my life today is better than
it was yesterday. My relationship that I have now is better than the one that I used to have with my
ex. And so we're going to get this very curated view of our ex is rebound, obviously.
So I'm just because it seems like they're perfectly in love and they're ex they're
rebound to this like super caring thing for their birthday or for X holiday or whatever.
It doesn't necessarily mean that it's this perfect fairy tale relationship. Okay. Um,
it's just very curated. You're probably not going to see the arguments, the fighting the jealousy,
the suspicion, the doubts, if they made the right choice or not all of this sort of stuff,
you're not going to see that 99% of the time, or at least the vast majority, I'm not going to put
some sort of scientific number on that because it's not scientific. But, um, anyway, you're
not going to see the vast majority of the truth. You're just going to be able to see the curated
version of the truth, the version that they want everyone in the world to see. Okay. And so, um,
do you have a lot of that going for you here? Uh, by the way, if you would like to help curate
my social media life, please hit that thumbs up button, uh, for the YouTube algorithm.
I mean, the truth is like, I, you know, I don't care if you hit the thumbs up button,
I would like you to, I mean, it's not like it's going to give me a boost of like, you know,
validation seeking approval or anything like that. It's not like, I'm like, Oh look, 500 people hit
the thumbs up button. Doesn't that mean? I'm an awesome person. No, I, I don't care about that.
But the thing is, when you do hit the thumbs up button, it does send a message to the YouTube
algorithm that these videos are actually kind of cool. And they might want to show them to more
people. So, you know, it's someone who wants to grow their channel and grow their business and all
that stuff. It would help me out if you did hit the thumbs up button, it's a freeway to support
the channel. Um, not, not, not to inflate my ego or anything, but just to support the channel.
That's really the only reason I want you To do it. Um, but anyway,
If you do like these videos, it helps support the channel by hitting the thumbs up button. Um,
but yeah, so there is this whole sort of social media curated lens that we're viewing our life
through or ex's rebound relationship through. And so we have to keep this in mind as we are
viewing what we are piecing together of their rebound relationship. That's not to say that
the, the, the, the, the rebound isn't, you know, better than you in certain ways, they
very well could be, you know, you could be some sort of regular middle-class person. They might
be wealthy. You could be, uh, someone who maybe, maybe he's not in the best shape in the world.
They could be someone who's like totally, you know, uh, fit in shape and all that stuff. Maybe,
maybe you you're getting your career off the ground. Maybe they got a bang and career, maybe
whatever it is, maybe, maybe, maybe they're like super loving and generous and all that stuff.
And you're, that's something that you're still working on. I don't know. This could like legit be
what's going on. We don't know, but there is that whole, um, social media lens that you have to, uh,
take into consideration when you're looking at all of this. So if, if they're rebound actually is,
you know, better at you in some capacity, what you want to do is obviously you want to level up
your own life. You want, like, if you're looking at them and saying like, you know, wow,
you know, it it's meaningful to me. That career is better off than my career. Then maybe that means
it's time that you focus on your career, or, Hey, it's meaningful to me that, uh, that, that they
are more affectionate than I was with them. Then maybe it's time you work on your own emotional
availability and how you express affection. Right. Um, because the truth is you're just a
person and their rebound is just a person. And if you're going to look at that person and somehow
say, okay, that person is better than me in some way, or I'm worse than them in some way. Then that
means that that's an evaluation that you're making in your own mind. And chances are that is either
speaking to some sort of insecurity that you have, or some part of you that wants to step into
whatever that quality is in your own life, you know, get your career in order,
uh, get in shape, um, you know, do whatever that might be instead of just kind of sitting there,
feeling, you know, insecure, jealous, whatever. Why not just focus on stepping into that yourself,
embodying that yourself and taking your life to that next level. And of course,
obviously some of these things might take some time, you know, it's going to take some time to,
I don't know, to start a new business and get it to, you know, some like awesome
level of revenue or something like that. Um, so, you know, it may take some time,
but go ahead and step into that. This is, you know, if this is important to you,
if this is something that's meaningful to you in some way, then own it, say, you know what? Yeah,
I do want to start a business. Yeah. I do want to take my career to the next level. Yeah. I
do want to be in shape. Yeah. I do want to be more expressive. Yeah. I do want these other
things. Yeah. I do want, um, you know, XYZ a thing that it seems like this other person has
so own it step into it, start working towards becoming that, you know, one thing that,
that I want to encourage everyone in, and I hope this comes across in like most of the videos that
I do is that you want to live your best life. You can use your relationships, you can use your
breakup, you can use dating, you can use like really anything in life as a vehicle for personal
development. As you start to go on this path of having a better relation, like, like the least
interesting thing possible for me is to sit around talking about text messages and emojis and what to
text next. The most interesting thing to me is to use relationships or dating or breakups, or really
anything in life as a mirror, as a vehicle for becoming a better person as a vehicle for saying,
okay, I get it. That relationship that I had didn't work out because I wasn't emotionally
expressive. How is it that I'm showing up in my life that makes it, uh, makes me feel unsafe to
express my emotions and how can I start to own that and step into it more and start to become
a little bit more emotionally expressive. How is it that this breakup is showing me that,
that maybe I didn't care enough about following through, on my word and actually getting my
career in order. And now I'm starting to see the fruits of that because now, you know, maybe my
ex is dating someone else who does have an awesome bang and career. Okay. Maybe it's
time. I step into that step into some discomfort, actually take a chance, bet on myself, start, uh,
start a business. That's important to me and take it to, you know, whatever level it might be. Um,
I want you to own your life. I want you to have an amazing experience of life. And I believe that
taking, you know, your breakup, your relationship, your dating life, or other areas of your life,
you can use that as a mirror for how you're showing up. And you can use that as a way to
start to step into becoming a better person. And I always want you to remember that. I always
want you to embody that, and I always want you to be growing in your life. Um, you know, I, I,
I don't want you to come out of this breakup as the same person that you were before the breakup.
I want you to come out of this a better person, regardless of whether or not you and your ex get
back together. Like, you know, you and your ex being together, you having a great relationship.
That's the icing on the cake. The real important thing is who is it? You get to become who is it?
You get to be, what is it you get to do? What challenges do you get to overcome? What, what
journey of development do you get to go on as the result of this whole quest? And if it changes you
then yeah, that is the most important thing. The external things, they will come to
you, they, they, and they are important, you know? Sure. You know, your relationship is important
and all of that, but they will come to you as you become the right kind of person.
So don't just look at your ex's rebound and be like, Oh yeah, there's some like awesome person
with everything in life figured out or something like that. Oh, here I am just stuck to some,
you know, person that I perceive as a loser. Uh, just, just doing nothing like, Oh, like
my life sucks. I don't do that. Say, Hey, you know, I, I'm seeing something in this other person
that maybe I want for myself. Maybe I need to give myself permission to own it. Maybe I need to give
myself permission to become that. Maybe I need to give myself permission to really go for it,
rather than just playing it safe. I don't care about that. I'm just going to pretend
like I don't care about it, but really, as soon as currently do that, we'll have some gentleness with
these guys over here. But in order to protect my own ego, I'm just gonna pretend like I don't
want it. Like don't do that, but actually own it. Step into it, become it, give yourself permission
to live the best life. Um, and obviously the more you step into that, the more genuine and authentic
you're going to be with. What's important to you. And obviously as you do this, the more magnetic
you're going to become to the right people, maybe even your acts, um, and the more they're going
to actually want to spend time with you. Okay? So you're going to find yourself attracting probably
a higher quality of people. The right people are going to be coming to you, maybe even your ex,
maybe even the relationship that you want. Um, and you're gonna start to get lots of
amazing results. Obviously this is going to spill over into other areas of your life as well, too,
as you start to love yourself and value. So yourself enough to go after what you
actually want in life, you're going to probably start to take other parts of your life more
seriously. Maybe your relationships with your family, maybe following through on your word,
maybe, uh, you know, your health and your fitness, maybe, um, following through on dreams that
you've had. You kept pushing off to the world of someday, maybe whatever it is, I don't know, but
you can become a better person. You can become not just a better person, cause there's nothing
wrong with you, but you can become the person you've always wanted to be. You can live the
life that you've always wanted to live. If you give yourself permission for it,
once again, if you liked this video, hit the thumbs up button, um, it does make your ex find
you more attractive scientifically. I think it does anyway. Um, it's not going to hurt anyway,
hit the thumbs up button. Yeah. And please make sure that you're on our email. Newsletter
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link for it down below, but anyway, thanks again. I'll talk to you next time. Please take care.