Evan, I want you to really
help me with this.
This is
what's called a good old fashioned Ben Franklin T
where you just put down pros and cons here
and you say on the good side
that maybe they don't focus on enough
is that you are a hard worker, okay?
That would be one thing on the good side.
What would be another thing on the good side about you?
I'm kind.
That you're kind.
You can be kind, right?
Correct.
Okay, what else?
I'm good with my little brothers.
I'm sorry?
I'm good with my little brothers.
Okay.
On the negative side,
you admit
that you lie.
Correct.
You admit that you steal.
Correct.
You admit that you have really poor judgment,
right? Correct.
You admit that you have a problem
with impulse control,
not always, but at times.
Are you relationship dependent?
Do you feel like you need to be in a relationship
all the time?
At the lowest points of my life, yes.
That's where it gets to be an issue
where I say that it's relationship dependent.
It's not that you want to be in a relationship,
you feel like you have to be in a relationship.
You're in 25 different dating apps,
so you got a lot of hooks in the water.
And if you're lying and stealing,
poor judgment, poor impulse control
and relationship dependent,
those things have consequences
and you just said I'm 18 now
and there is a shift when you become 18.
There's a shift because when you're 18,
they can't tell you what to do anymore.
You can do whatever you want to do.
But there is another big factor
that you're really, really missing when you turn 18
that I think you don't get yet
and I want to explain to you what that is
and why I think it's gonna make a huge difference
in your life
if you can wrap your mind around this.
Now I want to be selfish on Evan's behalf for a minute
and I really want you to listen
to what I'm saying
because I'm the least judgmental person I've ever met.
There may be less judgmental people than me
but I don't know who it would be.
And I'm gonna tell you something
that you need to really, really learn
and that is this,
you have to decide what do you deserve?
Not what she deserves,
not what he deserves from you,
not what she deserves for you,
but what you deserve from you.
'Cause you're either gonna wind up a convicted felon
and you're gonna spend years in jail
or you're gonna pull your act together
and you're gonna say
I deserve better than I'm giving myself here.
I deserve better than that.
I am not gonna generate results
from a second class personal truth.
If my personal truth is damaged, if it's wounded,
if I've been really hurt along the way,
I'm gonna heal those wounds
because I'm gonna walk with dignity and pride in my life,
not to please her,
not to please him,
not to please her,
but to give yourself the chance that you want.
You are settling too cheap.
You are selling yourself short.
Do you understand what I'm saying to you?
Yes, sir.
Now I will get you some help with this.
I will, I will get you some help with this
and you've been to therapists,
you've been sent away,
I'm not gonna do any of that.
I'm gonna get you some help
that will work with you on one concept.
And that is healing your personal truth.
And that's a lot easier to do
than you might think it is.
It has to do with your internal dialogue,
what you're saying to yourself,
and then behaving your way to success.
Winners do things loser don't want to do.
You can start doing things
that you haven't required of yourself in the past
and you're gonna start seeing things fall into place.
And I don't want you to do it
because she wants you to
or he wants you to
or she wants you to
or I want you to.
Screw me, screw them, do this because it's what you deserve.