My wife caught me talking to another girl.
My name is Paul Friedman, I founded The Marriage Foundation
and I'm going to give you real feedback, real, simple, easy to understand what's
going on but it's probably not going to be
what you were looking for. I've met with lots of men over the years
and usually, the response you're looking for is along the lines of,
"Yeah, haven't we all been there. Here's what'll work."
I'm not going there because we haven't all been there. If you're
there look at the words you use, "my wife caught me" that implies
some guilt, some admission on your part that you really should not have been
doing it. And I'm not going to lecture you that's
not the purpose of The Marriage Foundation.
The Marriage Foundation is here to teach people
how to derive the benefits of marriage and most people don't
understand that there's unbelievable benefits to
marriage. And usually, what happens is their
marriage is going to hell in a hand basket
and then they come to us to heal their marriage
and there's an open door so you're not there yet.
You're not in a place yet where your whole marriage is collapsing
but you're starting to walk down that path.
And I'm going to tell you what's really simple
is for you to understand that you don't know how to be married.
What are the benefits of being married? Why do people get married?
You get married -- number one because you want to be happier. Number
two which is tied to number one, you get married because you want to
experience unconditional love which is so powerful. It's unimaginably
powerful and that's what creates the happiness. so
you got to have that unconditional love which translates into
a lot of things but connection, trust, mutual respect,
being so nice to each other all the time, all those things that you don't have
right now. If you're already talking to other girls
it means that you're starting to take each other for granted.
You don't really -- there's a part of you that really doesn't
care because you're not getting from your marriage
what you should be and it's not your wife's fault.
It's not your fault either in a way that you're not getting those benefits but
you didn't learn. No one learns about marriage. No one
learns about themselves, gender-based. No one learns learns about
the other gender and so what happens is we
get married with this vague expectation of happiness
based on TV stuff, families, children, companionship,
doing things together -- mundane stuff. It's not where marriage is at so here's
my suggestion to you. First of all, you need
to apologize. You just can't do that
and I'm sure you probably already have but she's probably still angry.
The reason why she's still angry is because like you, she doesn't see
a way out. She doesn't see it getting any better.
And so you guys have gotten into this ditch
that you can't get out of. Here's the simplest thing to do.
I've written a couple of books. They're not
difficult to digest. You can't read it all at once but you
can read them together like at night before you
go to bed. Just pick it up, Breaking the Cycle
which I think is the better of the two. Lessons for a Happy Marriage just as
good, not as extensive and start reading to each other. Just a
couple of paragraphs, maybe a chapter, maybe a half a chapter
whatever you want. But every night, read to each other
you guys will learn so much about marriage
that these kind of things won't happen again
and you won't be talking to other girls but you won't be talking other girls not
because you're going to get into trouble if you get
caught but because you'll be putting all of your attention on making your
marriage into what it's supposed to be.
Haven't you ever heard the term, marital bliss? It's real and you can have
that so get educated. Okay. Now if your
marriage is and chances are this is not the
case. But if your marriage is really starting to slide towards divorce
then you do need to get the course for men and that will help resuscitate
you and your marriage. So I hope this was useful
for you, leave a comment, leave a like, share it
and thank you for spending this time with me. I'm trying to help you out
and we also have counselors that you could write to --
it's free but they're just going to direct you the way I directed you
because this is a pretty straightforward simple and usual problem.
Blessings to you! bBessings to your wife!
Blessings to your family! Everything's going to be okay
but not because it's going to be okay because you have to do something about
it. You gotta get educated. Let me help you
with that. All right. Blessings to you! Thank you and take care!