From death by duffel bag to drugged up cubs, Cocaine Bear has all the madcap energy and
wackiness its title suggests.
Believe it or not, it only gets more bizarre from there.
In most cases, the first scene should properly set the tone for the rest of the film.
And as you might expect, Cocaine Bear does it with some gusto.
We open in an appropriately whacked-out fashion with a drug smuggler named Andrew C. Thornton
kicking cocaine-filled duffel bags out of a plane.
Not only is he super-kicking coke-duffels like Shawn Michaels, but he's also dancing
while he does it.
This lets the audience know that this is not a film that needs to be taken seriously by
immediately establishing its madcap tone.
The scene concludes when Thornton clonks his head on the door and falls to his doom.
Bizarrely enough, this part of the film is somewhat factual to real-life events, minus
the coke-fueled dancing ... we think.
The real Andrew Carter Thornton II was a real-life narcotics officer turned drug smuggler operating
out of Kentucky.
The film even shows archival news footage of the actual events right before we go into
the fictional narrative.
Much like the duffel bags of cocaine, this scene effectively dropkicks you into the bear
bedlam to come.
"A bear did cocaine!"
Cocaine Bear kicks off with a scene straight out of a Friday the 13th movie: two tourist
hikers enjoying the splendor of the great outdoors while an unseen threat lurks nearby.
We meet Olaf and his wife Elsa enjoying their nature walk while discussing their upcoming wedding.
It's here we get a humorous bit of dialogue where Elsa bluntly tells Olaf she doesn't
want his brother's band playing at the wedding.
Following this squabble, the couple spots the titular bear emerging from the trees — much
to their immediate intrigue.
Olaf begins taking pictures, before both of them realize that the bear isn't acting right
— writhing around and head-butting trees.
Before Olaf and Elsa can even blink, the bear begins approaching them with apparent malice
in its eyes.
They are then attacked by the bear who proceeds to drag Elsa away to her death right in front
of a horrified Olaf.
After the bear mauls Elsa, it lets out a roar before the film's title card drops on the screen.
The title disappears, and the bear is immediately distracted by a pretty butterfly, which she
chases offscreen.
It's a glorious first kill that cements the film's dark sense of humor, while also establishing
the momentum and tone for the rest of the film.
Following Cocaine Bear's first gruesome murder, we are treated to a decade-appropriate montage
of drug public service announcements.
Among these PSAs are two particularly noteworthy ones: the famous "This is your brain on drugs"
commercial and an anti-cocaine PSA starring Pee Wee Herman.
These over-the-top PSAs help to immerse the audience in the anti-drug sentiments that
were rampant in the '80s.
During the decade, politicians adopted intense anti-drug platforms, introducing things like
the D.A.R.E campaign and slogans like:
"Just say no!"
The "This is your brain on drugs" commercial features a frying pan with some hot grease
meant to represent brain-altering substances.
We then see an egg introduced to the pan as a not-so-subtle metaphor for the dangers of
using drugs.
It's definitely silly, but nothing will ever hold a candle to Paul Reubens — in character
as Pee Wee — talking about the dangers of crack cocaine.
While definitely a noble goal, Pee Wee might not have been the best fictional character
to trot out for that particular message.
It's a bizarre yet hilarious little addition and a nice dose of nostalgia for anyone who
grew up during the anti-drug messaging of the '80s.
Early on in the film, we're introduced to Dee Dee, a young artist who wants to paint
the rocks near a waterfall.
Unbeknownst to her mother, Dee Dee and her friend Henry have skipped school and ventured
off into the woods.
On their wholesome little hike, the kids discover a lone brick of cocaine in the bushes and
decide to pick it up.
Henry begins lying that he does cocaine with his other friend all the time, leading Dee
Dee to call his bluff.
What ensues is a scene where these two unaccompanied children "do coke" by eating it off a pocket knife.
This, of course, does not work and both kids immediately spit out the cocaine before continuing
their hike to the falls.
They then discover another brick of cocaine, but this time it appears as though someone
— or something — had already gotten into it.
This is revealed to be the bear who then makes its presence known, terrifying both Dee Dee
and Henry.
As the saying goes, "don't do drugs, kids" and these particular kids learn this lesson
in the most hilarious and frightening way.
"Because drugs, especially cocaine, are very, very bad."
Bathroom knife fight
One of the strangest things about Cocaine Bear is that the bear itself doesn't commit
every act of violence in the movie.
Yes, in this world, we're shown that human beings can be just as violent and destructive
as drug-addled bears.
Early on in the film, two drug dealers named Daveed and Eddie arrive at the park in search
of their boss' lost cocaine.
Upon arriving, Daveed goes to use the bathroom where he is confronted by a trio of punk teens.
It's mentioned just before this scene that these teens have been causing trouble around
the park — much to the chagrin of Liz the park ranger.
These teens, very foolishly, try to shake Daveed down for his money and are subsequently
boot stomped for it.
Daveed continues whooping the teens from pillar to post, leaving them all knocked out on the
bathroom floor.
This scene is brutal and hilarious, and a perfect example that completely bear-free
anarchy and violence also exist in this movie.
Crucially, it also establishes that these dealers are a formidable force — setting
up the inevitable showdown between them and the bear.
Partway through the film, Dee Dee's mother Sari ventures to the park in search of her
daughter and Henry.
She tags along with Liz and an eccentric park inspector named Peter to locate them.
After venturing deeper into the woods, the trio eventually finds Henry scared out of
his mind and halfway up a tree.
It's not too long before the bear remerges, horrifically wounding Liz before turning its
attention to a hysterical Peter.
While fleeing from the bear, Peter crawls for his life through some bushes before landing
face-first in another pile of lost cocaine.
He then takes a cue from Henry and proceeds to climb another tree while Sari hides behind one.
This leads to a very tense moment when Sari just barely avoids the bear's detection and
its coke-fueled wrath.
While Henry believes they will be safe above the ground, this turns out to be a tremendous
mistake because bears can climb trees.
Enticed by the scent of the cocaine all over Peter, the bear rushes up the other tree and
begins violently eating him.
Cocaine Bear's surprising stealth
After bailing on Sari, Henry, and Peter, Liz returns to the park's main building, where
she encounters the remaining young teens who had encountered Daveed previously.
Both of them — equally battered and bruised — have no idea about each other's situations,
with Liz assuming the teens were also attacked by the bear.
Liz calls for some paramedics before they notice a noise at the door which is revealed
to be the bear.
In a moment of panic, Liz discharges her gun and accidentally shoots one of the teens through
the head.
This leaves one remaining teen who notices along with Liz that the bear is gone, but
there are now noises coming from the roof.
While the film wears its absurdity proudly, it should be credited for this scene and the
following one as they showcase a decent amount of suspense before belting you upside the
head with a bear attack.
This tension is then broken when the bear crashes through the door's mini-window and
begins clawing the teen.
The horrific scene left behind sets up the moment a little later on when the medics arrive
to investigate the carnage.
A short while after the bear attacks the park's main building, two paramedics arrive to examine
the crime scene.
The paramedics — Beth and Tom — venture inside where they find a complete bloodbath
with Liz barely clinging to life.
Many of you might recognize comedian Scott Seiss from his TikTok videos wherein he often
relatably comments on the annoying pitfalls of retail work.
"You just lost yourself a customer."
"You think I own this business?"
Tom checks out a backroom that appears to have blood pooling out from under its door
while Beth checks on Liz.
Right on cue, the bear reveals itself to a horrified Tom, who attempts to close the door
and quietly leave before the bear brings it down on top of him.
Now trapped under the door, Tom attempts to escape as Beth loads an injured Liz into the
waiting ambulance.
Tom is able to free himself and board the moving ambulance before the bear gives chase,
easily able to keep up with the fleeing vehicle.
What ensues is a ridiculous chase sequence where Liz attempts to shoot the bear as Tom
attempts to shut the door to the ambulance.
The scene reaches its crescendo when the bear jumps through the air and lands in the back
of the ambulance, mauling Tom and sending Liz flying out.
Beth then meets her gruesome end when she crashes the ambulance into a tree.
As the film nears its final act, the two remaining storylines converge at the bear's cave, where
Dee Dee is being held.
Sari and Henry arrive, finding Dee Dee hiding in the cave after following a trail of paint
she'd left behind for them to track.
This coincides with Eddie and Daveed — joined by Eddie's dad Syd, who's played by Ray Liotta
— also traveling to the cave to reclaim more of the lost cocaine.
Both parties make the same shocking discovery: the bear has a set of cubs that are also hooked
on cocaine.
Much like their mother, the cubs are hopped up on a healthy blizzard of the white stuff,
with their fur even covered in it.
Later on in the climax, Syd opts to placate the cubs by throwing them another sizable
brick of cocaine.
Definite credit to the film's marketing team who wisely chose to keep this additional twist
out of the trailers as it makes for a nice surprise for audiences.
It also ensures that the bear isn't just a one-dimensional, drug-fuelled villain and
gives some extra stakes for the film's big finale.
Cocaine Bear reaches its epic conclusion where all truly great films should: on the edge
of a cliff.
Sari and the kids are now held at gunpoint by Syd, not keen on letting any witnesses
get away.
At the same time, Syd begins needlessly beating on the cubs for trying to nibble at his reclaimed cocaine.
His comeuppance soon arrives in the form of the cub's mama making a grand entrance on
the top of the waterfall before jumping down to the cliffside to protect her babies.
At this time, Sari, the kids, Eddie, and Daveed all opt to jump off the cliff and into the
waters below to escape.
Syd is able to temporarily fight off the bear before accidentally gifting her with one final
dose of cocaine.
As he attempts to reclaim a bag dangling from the falls in one final last ditch effort,
Syd becomes tied up in the strap of the bag.
Syd then begins choking as the bear slashes his guts out — which her cub then proceeds
to eat.
Considering this is Ray Liotta's final onscreen performance following his death in 2022, this
was one hell of a way to go out.
It also caps the insanity of this movie nicely, and Cocaine Bear remains bizarre and brilliant
right to the very end.