Plankton, is that you?
Welcome home, honey.
[mumbling]
How was your day?
[coughing]
Dear Neptune, Plankton!
What is that smell?
The aroma you speak of, Karen, my computer wife,
is the stench of failure.
And now the smell of defeat
so deeply penetrates my soul
that my very skin is permeated with its foul stench!
Thanks for asking.
Well, it smells horrible.
You're not coming in here smelling like that!
Hey!
What are you...
[screaming]
Stop that at once, you...
[gasping]
I command you to...
Oh no!
[screaming]
There you go.
Now, don't you feel better?
Although I do look ravishing,
it's not enough to mask the ugliness I feel inside.
Did I miss a spot?
Oh!
Oh good, the lunch rush.
Now, that my chum bot has dropped you into my clutches,
you'll be forced to eat at the Chum Bucket.
[screaming]
What?
You mean you kidnapped us just to sell us your fast food?
Come on.
It's a standard marketing technique.
You little twerp!
Hey!
He's right, you know.
Karen, you think I'm a twerp?
Well, yes, but I was referring to the kidnapping.
Everything I do is always wrong in your eyes.
Maybe it's because you are always wrong.
Fine. I'm wrong.
- You're right. - You said it...
Why did I ever installed that nagging software?
Nagging software? I heard that!
At least I can go home to a wife who understands.
So, tell me what happened.
I don't wanna talk about it.
Talking will make you feel better.
Leave me alone.
That's your problem.
You never let anyone in.
Plankton the wreck Plankton, the loner.
And she's off, ladies and gentlemen.
That's why everything you try ends up like this.
[laughing]
Ooh!
And like this.
[laughing]
And more recently, like this.
[crying]
I'm a failure!
It's not that bad.
You just require a little help.
Maybe some henchman.
Henchmen?
Yes.
What you need to do is surround yourself
with muscular, tough guys who will do whatever you say.
I like the sound of that.
Wait a minute.
What's this?
Karen? My own wife?
Ooh! How Krabs loves me!
Hi, honey.
What's that? A souvenir from your boyfriend, Krabs?
Oh, pipe down. I just went to get you this happy hero box.
Where?
Thanks, babe! You're too good to me.
And after that, we frolicked through the flowers,
and then we...
Sounds like fun.
Well, the really fun part was when...
What did you do with the Krabby Patty?
With the what?
The Krabby Patty.
Remember?
You can't rush these things, you know.
You're forgetting the mission.
What are you talking about?
You're going native, Plankton.
Look at yourself.
What?
Another bag of chum.
Blech!
Now, to shape this into His Highness's dinner request.
[laughing]
Almost done.
Here you go. Eat up.
What's this supposed to be?
Chum seaweed,
chum pot pie, chum con coral and chum tea.
Also known as, dinner.
Karen, your memory bank's are gummed up again.
I did not request chum pot pie.
I requested chum stir fry!
Well, I told you months ago that my memory is full,
but you've been too busy with your latest project.
So tell me, Plankton, how do you plan on
failing to steal the Krabby Patty formula this time?
Computer wife, don't start with me!
This plan is foolproof, I tell you, fool proof!
[laughing]
Not only will I soon grasp the formula,
but I'll be rid of your bad memory as well.
Karen, I want you to meet my new computer wife...
Karen Two!
[gasping]
Karen Two?
I've been ... replaced?
I'm afraid so.
But can you blame me?
She's got triple the processing,
all the latest software, and a sleek space age design.
[laughing]
The whole package!
I can't believe this.
After all I've done for you,
you dump me for this cheap pile of plastic!
Well, I had to cut costs somewhere.
Who are you calling cheap?
At least I don't rust.
You know, you're gonna wish you deleted that comment!
Hey, come on, babe.
Don't take it so hard.
You'll find love again.
Maybe you'll meet a nice uh, adding machine.
Oh, that does it.
Oh. Why did I program her with a jealousy scheduler?
And why did I outfit her with a molecular rearranger ray?
Here's your stir fry, little man!
Uh. Let's not do something we might regret!
You should know,
regret's the one thing you left out of my operating system.
[gasping]
Huh?
What happened?
I accessed the Chum Bucket's power grid,
remotely cutting off Karen's power at the source.
Ha!
Karen Two,
I knew you were special
the moment I laid eye on your motherboard.
Goodbye, Karen Classic.
Hello, Karen Two!
I don't even know her name.
And yet she's stolen my heart.
Plankton!
You've fallen in love with another woman!
I'm your wife!
You're a W-I-F-E!
Oh! You always pull that one out!
You're not a real wife.
You're just a computer!
Ugh!
Why don't you have an off switch?
Plankton, don't you...
So, typical day of failure, I see, huh, darling,
Oh, can it, Computer wife! Can't you see I'm exhausted?
Why don't you go make yourself useful
and synthesize me up some grub?
Yes, your Majesty.
What do we got here?
Oh, goody.
Holographic meatloaf, again.
When am I gonna get some real food?
Mr. Krabs gets to eat real food.
Just look at his daughter.
She's as big as a whale!
I wish I could be successful, like Mr. Krabs!
I wish I could somehow just switch lives with him.
Just to know what it's like.
Then why don't you just use that
Switch Lives Just to Know What It's Like o-microfier thing,
you built last Tuesday?
What a brilliant idea!
Your parents must have been like part computer or something.
What is he doing?
All these tears...
and the show tunes.
Why isn't he making the patties?
Forget it. I'm going with Plan B.
I'll put his brain in the Robot Chef!
You know, that never works.
The answer is obvious.
To get to the SpongeBob, you must show him
compassion and understanding.
Then he'll give you what you want.
Will you be quiet?
I'm thinking!
I've got it!
To get to the SpongeBob,
I'll show him compassion and understanding.
[laughing]
Why aren't you laughing?
I've heard this joke before.
Just look at this place.
Might as well be a mausoleum.
Abysmal.
Oh well, at least it's structurally sound.
Ooh!
Forget this!
I'm sick of not having any business!
Then why don't you fix this rust bucket up?
Look around.
Chipping paint,
bad plumbing, dust bunnies.
It's no wonder you don't have any customers.
Okay, I get it! I get it!
What's the deal, Karen?
The deal was that I paid Nat to eat your chum
so you'd quit your constant complaining.
All this time, I never had one regular customer?
Uh, duh.
Should've known!
Why would anyone ever eat my slop?
Ugh!
There he goes again.
Cut it out, Plankton.
Why? It's just obvious that I'm a complete failure
and a waste of a lower life form!
Oh! Woe, is me!
[crying]
Oh, Planky Bear.
Plankton.
[humming]
Plankton!
What?
What is it, Karen? Can't you see I'm working here?
Yes, but I wanted to show you my new screen saver.
- What do you think? - Great.
You didn't even look!
Eh.
No, I didn't!
Can't you see I'm working on my new molecular analyzer?
Now, all I need is the smallest molecule of a Patty,
and the formula will be mine!
Just tell me if I should permanently
upload the screensaver.
I said not now... ow!
[screaming]
Sample is...
I have also analyzed your screensaver, Karen.
It is most beautiful.
No one asked you!
Are you happy now, Karen?
No, I'm not! I was just trying to make myself pretty for you.
But do you even care?
All you ever do is make stupid schemes about stupid sandwiches!
Stupid?
Your new screen saver is stupid.
And it makes your processor look fat!
What?
Ooh!
Okay, let's all calm down before you say something you'll regret!
You know what? No one talks to me like that.
Get out!
I will not get out!
This is my restaurant, and no one can make me...
leave!
Ow!
Karen, baby.
Come on, sugar lips.
You tricked me with a simulation?
It was a test, Plankton, and you failed!
You fail every time when it comes to our romance.
Right. So, I goof up one time and now I'm the bad guy.
One time? Failed one time?
How about four million seven hundred thousand and...
er-er-error.
Now, what was I saying?
Oh right.
Ugh!
No! No!
I'm tired of the Krusty Krab taking all of my business!
We're doomed, Karen.
Doomed, I tell you!
[crying]
Well, why don't you do what all good business owners do?
What would that be?
Advertise your product, of course.
Advertising?
I can't believe it took me this long to
come up with this.
Well, if you must know...
There's nothing wrong with Chum Bucket Fare!
Why, look! Here's a fresh batch of a delicious new chum sauce.
It's called Spicy Chum Surprise.
Uh...
[screaming]
Delectable!
Oh, I'm sure it'll be a huge success.
Heh.
That's the life.
Plankton!
Hey, I was watching that!
And I'm tired of watching you sit around all day.
Admit it. The Chum Bucket is a total failure.
It is not! Business is just slow!
[mumbling]
If you'd take my advice,
the Krabby Patty recipe would be yours.
[laughing]
You? You're just a computer.
I'm the evil genius around here.
Working.
So, you've decided to come crawling back to me, huh?
What did you say?
Eh, eh, nothing, dear.
[screaming]
Yeah. That's what I thought you said, honey bunch.
Ah, ow.
[crying]
I'll curse you, cruel fate!
Once again, you've left me covered
in the sticky goo of my own folly!
Only this time...
[gasping]
I'm all alone.
[crying]
Ahem.
Karen!
You've come back to me!
Actually, I just came to get my keyboard.
Oh! I knew you couldn't stay away.
I knew it!
[sighing]
Right. Let me guess.
Another failure?
What are you gonna do?
Machines these days, right?
Um, listen, sweetie,
I'm sorry about what I said.
Truth is, I could never replace you, honey bunch.
Let's go home, huh?
[sighing]
Okay.
Hey, I can whip us up a little dinner.
What do you say?
Want me to leave you again?
We could go out!