[ dramatic ♪ ]
[male narrator] In the cold night of the eternal desert, the traveler walks alone.
His mighty bell tolls, and it tolls for thee, denizens of evil.
He is Bundun, the Night Stalker. [bell]
[music ends]
What even is this [bleep]?
He's got a bell? Not a katana or a railgun, a [bleep] bell?
Are we trying to sell players a $4.99 Salvation Army [bleep] Santa?
Um... we think that the bell fits the stylistic steampunk aesthetic.
[Charna] Not to mention he's clearly just a re-skinned version of Daniver.
Uh, Daniver's an ice troll. Bundun's is a spectral plasma troll.
- There is a big difference-- - Get the [bleep] out.
Get the [bleep] out guys. Go on, go on, come on.
- Get the [bleep] out. - Oh, yeah.
[ theme ♪ ]
[bird's squawking]
OK, Let's uh... start the tour.
- Oh is it a shoes off house? - No, those are just shoes.
Oh.
Oh, watch out for the spaghetti.
- Ooh. OK. - Yeah.
♪
- This is the training room. - Your seats there Alzheimer's.
[scoffs] Alzheimer's?
I'm trying out nicknames for you, because you're old.
Don't think that just because you're at the top of the casual boys you're one of us,
Guy Who Drank From the Wrong Grail in Indiana Jones.
- What? - [bleep] Korean War Vet.
[Becca] We usually practice from around 11AM to 1AM.
- You play for 14 hours straight. - Used to be longer,
but some kid in South Korea died from playing 15 hours straight, so you know,
you gotta cut back. Let's go this way.
♪
Kitchen. Not sure if the oven works. We usually just order takeout.
- [indistinct] - Oh no. No, I'm okay.
No I'm not-- I'm not hungry. I'm...
OK let's just go. Next room.
♪
Laundry room. Also where Alt Trash sleeps.
[Alt Trash] Pleased to meet you.
And this is your room. You share with DaveFu.
Oh, I-I thought I got my own room.
Yeah. Your own room. Dave's own room. Your guys' own room.
Hmm.
[telephone beep, female sighs] Tony Squib is on line 1.
- [Charna sighs] - [beep]
- [Squib] Hello? - Hey Tommy.
So great to talk to you.
Just wanted to make sure that our little problem is behind us.
[Squib] Wait, wait, what? What problem?
[Charna] OK Squib, I don't have time for this. We've got power outages in Europe,
and I've been getting death threats all morning on Twitter for nerfing
- Cambria's Binding Gloom. - [Squib] Hey, cut off the jackhammer!
Uh, I don't understand what any of those words mean,
but if you're talking about Sorcerer I got that handled.
[Charna] That's good to hear, because while your NBA tough-guy act may work
with sales reps and escorts, I will gladly cut your team for one of thousands waiting in line.
- The leash is this short. - [Squib] Charna you're gonna be hap--
- [shouting] This short! - Hel-Hello? Hello?
[Squib] OK, this is the deal, in order for me to make my money
you gotta win, so that's what we're gonna do.
- We're gonna win. - Thanks Tommy. Your pep talks
- are just invaluable. - There you go.
OK, who's the new one?
Oh, I thought you were somebody's dad. Old-looking mother-- [chuckles]
So I scheduled a couple of scrimmages with some teams for the rest of the week,
and your first is going to be Storm Nine at 11AM.
[stammering] What? 11AM today? No-no, that's in 10 minutes.
We haven't even practiced together yet.
So... click the bad guys, or whatever y'all do. You damn nerds are so difficult.
Oh, did I happen to tell you guys about my new app that can deliver gas to your car
- wherever it's parked? - Aren't their apps that already do that?
Yes, but they use cars. So they burn gas to deliver gas. Stupid.
My app is called Gas Bags. We use bicycles.
Oh, I'm gonna need one of y'all to bike around the neighborhood a little later
with a couple of trash bags full of gasoline.
[rattling]
- Ugh. - My man. [cell phone rings]
That's right. Oh, Khaled. Yo, yo, we the best.
[whispers] Get to work.
He makes you guys drive bags of gas around?
Yeah. There's a lot of crazy [bleep] we have to do for his businesses.
We walk dogs. We've tended bar at his chain restaurants.
We've been personal trainers, but what are you gonna do?
He pays the bills, you know.
So Greg, um, what do you play? Healer? Support?
Oh. Uh... I like the more futuristic characters,
- like that lizard guy. - The lizard guy? Da' [bleep]?
[Becca] Greg, at least tell me do you play DPS or...
[Greg breathes in]
Great. Follow everybody else. Just log in.
We'll just work around whatever character Greg picks.
[gameplay sound]
- Um... why aren't you logged in yet? - Oh, one sec,
just recovering my password. [chuckling]
- You don't know your password? - Oh, I just always forget it,
so it's easier for me to just do the password recovery thing every time I log in.
- [bleep] Maester Pycelle. - OK, I'm in.
[Becca] Great, that took long enough. OK. DaveFu, you got heels.
Sauce, you tank. Kosmo you rove.
Ooh, can I be this pointy black wizard guy?
[sighs]
♪
Is he usually the pointy black wizard?
♪
OK DaveFu keep pushing top. Sauce, use your special.
- BluesTraveler, gimme a buff! - A buff?
- Press E. - Oooh, the ice cream magic.
Looks like ice cream to me. [chuckles]
- Aaaaand that's GG. - OK, but now I know.
♪
[grunting]
That's...
I'm going to try and sneak into their base.
It'll be 1 v 3. You'll get killed.
No, no, no. It works sometimes.
- [Greg] OK, I got killed. - [game voice] Defeat.
- GG. - [foreign language]
W-[bleep]-P.
[snoring]
[choking, distant dance music playing]
Come on guys, I think we can win this one.
[Becca] Nope. GG. We lost it. So bad.
[beep]
[Alt Trash] No one light a match!
[Becca] And in the final match of the week, that's another--
- G-[bleep]-G! - [Becca] Ugh!
[Greg] By the way, we always type GG at the end.
- What does that stand for? - [screaming in distance]
[Becca sighing] We got a lot of work to do.
[Sauce] Come on, Sergei. Damn shame.
I'm sorry guys. I'll get it. I'm just-- I'm just used to playing solo.
[Becca] It's fine, Greg. [bleep] Tommy shouldn't have sprung a bunch of scrimmages
- on us week one anyway. - Yeah um... about that.
Look, I don't want to overstep my bounds, but it feels like
Tommy may at times um... get in the way--
- Oh, he [bleep] us up big time. - Yeah. OK, that.
So one might argue that [bleep] us up
doesn't contribute to a healthy work environment,
you know what I mean? And it feels like this whole system is a little...
[Becca] Greg, with all due respect, the whole team hates you,
and Tommy pays the rent, so if you think you've got a solution then be my guest.
Make it happen.
Hm.
[Squib] Yeah, yeah. A few of the cyclist may have caught on fire
but 5% is not a bad rate. [indistinct voice on phone]
Oh. 5% didn't catch on fire.
[door knocking]
[Squib] Yeah, I gotta call you back.
- Who are you? - Greg Davidson,
newest member of Team Sorcerer.
Oh, yeah, hey. How are you?
Today, I would like to talk to you about team management.
[ ♪ from laptop ]
- The keys to team success are...
- positive morale and...
making sure that each team member perform a role that caters to their strengths.
Right now, you are ruling by...
- [screams from laptop] - Fear. But imagine an environment
with a structured, predictable schedule,
sympathetic treatment for individual members,
and everyone having their own toothbrush, maybe.
With these and a few other easy steps I think you may have a...
- [cheering from laptop] - Slam dunk.
- I like what you said about the slam dunk. - Oh, thank you.
You know, a lot of people don't come at me like this.
- Takes a lot of guts. - Oh.
- Greg right? - Greg, yes.
Well, Greg you have earned my respect, and with that respect I can
respectfully say to your face...
Hellz naw. Get the [bleep] out of here.
Um... OK well, what about the fact that what you're doing is highly illegal,
and if I reported you to the Department of Labor you'd be liable for thousands of dollars in fines.
Hmm.
- [Becca] No side jobs at all? - Mhmm.
And I even got Tommy to pay for a house cleaner.
Say hello to Eduardo! [chuckles]
- Hey! - How about that, Eduardo?
- Back on your feet already! - Yeah, my last year was full-time.
These are just two days a month.
- [Becca] Alright. - [bleep] yeah!
- Hey. - Yeah.
Welcome to Sorcerer.
[bleep] Obi-Wan's ghost, you did good.
[Greg] Thanks. See, you guys were worried about the Greg era,
but the Greg era is good, right? High fives...
For the Greg era?
[ theme ♪ ]