So quite recently, I had to phone my energy supplier.
This is top notch content.
When I got through to a lovely lady who went by the name of… Hannah.
Or… Susan… Or… Michelle… I don't know!
I just like the Mambo No. 5 Song!
[Mambo] 'I like Angela, Pamela, Sandra and [in devil voice] Rita!'
I realised this was not only the first time I had used my voice all day…
[phone] 'Generic Energy Company!'
[Emma] [cracking voice] 'Hello, I need to talk to you about my accounts.'
But also that by the end of the call, my talk with Mary was, like, the longest conversation I'd had in a really, really long time.
[Emma] [normal voice] 'Okay, okay. Well thank you so much for the help Clara, seriously.
Um. Oh! And good luck with your sister’s wedding,
that, I bet that's going to be amazing! Say hi to her for me.
Oh, [clicks fingers] wait, wait, wait, wait. Just before you go, um,
have you seen "Stranger Things" yet? Claire?'
I am a lonely person.
Part of me likes it! You know like, I've always got something to do,
I'm always keeping myself busy.
So, I don't really notice it all that much.
But I also notice that the reason this has happened,
is you know because as time goes on friendships fizzle away as they naturally should do,
I haven't made any new friends to replace the old friends,
and there are good few reasons why.
Firstly, I think I come off a bit strong.
[person] 'It's nice to meet you! I'm Laura.'
[Emma] 'Hi, I'm Emma. Do you have time to talk about the humanitarian crisis in North Korea?'
Secondly… I'm very picky.
[Emma] 'Um, so… Um, do you like wrestling?'
[Laura] 'Huh? Wrestling? Um, No… Not really, it's not, it's not really my, my…'
And finally, I've realised that over the last couple of years of my life or so,
I've developed some serious trust issues.
And it's on me, not anyone else. Like, I'm not saying you're all untrustworthy bastards.
Some of you are…
And you own it,
good for you!
It's just that I've met a few people over the course of my time on YouTube, over the last few years,
that just seem to have had ulterior motives as to why they are talking to me.
[person] 'Happy birthday! Oh, I got you a card…'
[Emma] 'Oh, you shouldn’t have!'
[bag rustling]
[person] 'Oh, really no, it's, it's no bother.'
[Emma] 'No, really. You shouldn't have.'
I can't even really connect with old school friends either,
'cause, like, the few times I've tried to in the past, it has always, always gone like this.
[phone ping]
[typing]
[phone ping]
[typing]
[phone ping]
[ominous music]
There is nothing wrong with self promo. How else are you gonna get your work out there?
Right?
But if that is very, very clearly the reason that you’ve come to speak to me,
that doesn't make me feel too great.
And, like, I guess you could say it's a first world problem…
'What's wrong, Emma? Too successful to have friends now?'
Well…
Yeah! Kind of…
That probably came across as arrogant,
but quite honestly, YouTube can be
a very lonely job.
The friends that I do have tend to be on YouTube themselves,
which is great, y'know? It means we've got something in common.
But the thing is, with YouTubers,
is they are always busy!
So, like, it's very, very hard for YouTubers to actually
both be able to make time to see each other
at the same time.
This is especially bad if you are introverted!
I have spoken about being introverted,
so many times I'm bored of it.
Whenever a social event does come up,
it 9 times out of 10 does go like this:
[person] 'Oh! Emma! Um… There is a massive, massive YouTube party going on tomorrow night!
Everyone will be there, and I think we will be going to a club afterwards.
You wanna come?'
[Emma] 'Ah, thanks! But… That sounds like arse.
Have fun!
I made the right choice…'
Do any of you guy have trouble making friends?
Do any of you just feel like you’re gonna…
Die alone?
Let me know in the comments below!
Now it's the cool bit! People like to say to me, 'Emma, you call yourself a YouTuber,
but you only ever upload once a month!
It's like you don't care about us!'
Here's the actual truth about it, right!
You're completely right! I don't upload enough on this channel!
But the truth of that is, I feel a lot of pressure
for every video on here to be good.
To be funny, to be heavily edited,
to have lots of cutaways and I don't feel like I can just talk
normally about stuff on here, because I'm constantly scared of people going, 'This sucks! You used to be funny!
I'm unsubscribing!'
And then people are leaving. You know?
Which is why, I have started– Don't.
Don't!
I have started another channel.
Which. I know alright, look!
I don't have a good reputation of keeping channels.
I know that.
But this one I am generally excited for
because I have never had a channel where I can just sit down on [country accent] that there chair
and just talk.
We are just gonna talk about topics
there's a couple of videos on there already.
I've talked about my sexuality,
which is something that I never think I've ever really properly spoken about on here before.
I think there is one where I talk about my actual GCSE results.
It's just talking with no pressure to be funny.
No pressure like, 'Why didn't this get a billion views or anything?
That looks, that…' Don't. Just don't.
I'm really happy about it. So, if you want to check out that talk channel and subscribe to it,
which would be nice. I'm gonna try to upload there more frequently than I do here.
I swear, I can actually use the English language, just not today.
And for all of the people who are like 'Well, why don't you upload them all on here! Why do you keep needing different channels?'
As I've said, like, I just feel like a lot of people
are not subscribed to here just to hear me talk.
But if you would like some more Emma Blackery in your life,
then you can go to that channel. The link is in the description below
and um, I hope to see you on there
more often than I am on here.
And as always, guys, I shall catch you later!
[super high pitch] Bye!
Fart noise.
[fart noise]