hey welcome back for another episode of porn brain rewire with me Dr Trish Lee today we are going
to reverse time a little bit if you've been with me uh on this podcast for a while we're going to
reverse to the signs of a porn addiction so we're going to back it up and cover some of the basics
but it's always a good reminder because what I know about this thing is that the hijacker in
your brain who might be trying to convince you you don't have a quote quote addiction or you
do not have problematic porn use as we call it in the industry that hijacker is likely trying
to trick you so remembering what the signs are can be really important for long-term recovery
because as you know this can be tricky to leave behind and keep behind you and if you're new
it's important that you recognize you know I don't love the word Addiction but it is pretty
powerful when you realize that your brain has been controlling you instead of you controlling
your brain so digging right in when people say you know how do I know if I have a porn addiction we
could stop this list of 10 at number one because if this applies to you we don't even need to talk
about anything else the first time you have a problem with porn is you can't stop and how
do I know if I have a porn addiction most times I chuckle and I say try to stop because the reality
is if you try to stop it will be very difficult and there are some people who only watch porn
one time a week quote unquote only if you know what I mean but when they try to stop there is
withdrawal their brain and their body and their mind will become highly uncomfortable because
your brain has developed a dopamine dependency so we know that the reason you can't stop is because
your brain brain is dependent on high levels of dopamine from the screen number two not
only can you not stop but your brain wants more dopamine is the neurotransmitter the molecule of
motivation for more pleasure basically if you're watching pornit a slippery slope towards building
tolerance to the level of dopamine that your brain is accustomed to there will be tolerance
building which means you will no longer get the same feeling the same Rush the same pleasurable
experience from the same levels of dopamine you will need more new scenes new scenarios
new niches new levels of intensity to keep you hooked so when you jump up a level in intensity
and you feel that rush in your brain you've just increased the drug amount that's going into your
brain basically you are escalating your behavior to escalate the amount of dopamine number three
is that you lose time in porn and in your porn use so what happens to so many people that I
speak with they'll say you know I've been trying to stay away and then I don't know what happened
I found myself in a binge where I watched porn for five hours I couldn't believe it when sun
down turns to Sun up and you've lost that amount of time you have a problem so if you're investing
your time you know if you're investing your time money and energy basically into something it is
the relationship that you're in you've lost time because that is what your brain needs to feel
good now let's move to number four you've lost interest in sex sex is supposed to be relational
compulsive or addictive sex isn't hypersexuality is generally uh laid out by one person using other
people or using Electronics or screen time or using themselves so what that looks like is you
go back into porn you masturbate you lust after other people you're online on chat rooms or other
things of that nature you are on dating apps for hookups you are calling escorts all of those are
hypersexual behaviors where one person is using another individual or another modality for high
levels of dopamine for you that one person that's the hijacker trying to get as much dopamine as
humanly possible because remember pornography is at the root of those other behaviors and we
know porn is a super normal stimulus it's going to give your brain a lot of dopamine and that
dopamine is going to necessitate that you get more and that getting more is going to make it so that
your behaviors escalate also you've lost interest in sex you might be unresponsive to romantic or
relational sex gestures from your partner and you might just not be that interested in sex or you
might have erectile dysfunction and performance issues that do stem out of porn use number five
is you have become more demanding especially when it comes to sex it happens because of something
called the narcissistic bubble it's a product of all that dopamine flowing in your brain so when
you drown out your brain in dopamine it wants more remember motivation back to more pleasure
at any cost sometimes so this narcissistic bubble can really make it so that your reality becomes
distorted and the narcissistic piece is that you become the center of attention and everything
out there is seen as something for your pleasure that's why lusting after other people you might
start becoming more demanding or start trying to take new higher level intense sexual acts from
your partner in the bedroom the acts that you've seen in the screen are things that you want done
to you or you want to do in the bedroom and if your partner doesn't want to do those things many
times you will have the brilliant idea and yes that sarcasm which I know is the lowest form of
humor you could get an escort to act those things out because that's a person that is an object not
your relational partner that you actually care about and it should be an intimate relationship
your brain sees the world as your oyster to take from number six is you've lost attraction to your
partner so we know sexual satisfaction goes down and it's likely you no longer find your partner
as attractive I also know from experience with a lot of men it also may make you think you're
attracted to men because that link of dopamine is happening to the performers in the screen the
female and male so it decreases your satisfaction with your actual partner and it may make you think
you're attracted to the same sex or you become more attracted to the performers who your partner
likely could never match the dopamine levels that that's providing your brain in the acts
that you're consuming these people doing number seven is you are in physical or mental pain
so this dopamine deficit that happens in your life also increases cortisol and it changes the
way that your brain uses electrical energy what happens is it can give you physical pain it can
give you physical symptoms it absolutely can give you mental symptoms in terms of psychological and
cognitive symptoms so another physical symptom is erectile dysfunction premature ejaculation
and delayed ejaculation the reason being is that desensitization in your brain makes it so that
when you're with your partner you have to be you have to be 15 out of 10 stimulated to be able to
achieve an erection and to be able to get to the point of orgasm porn gives you level 15
stimulation in the brain your partner on a good day is probably a seven eight or nine so that you
know beautiful human being could never compare to the amount of dopamine you're getting out
of the screen which means erectile dysfunction and delayed ejaculation they fall out of that
problematic porn use if you're spending hours in front of your computer or hours masturbating
you will be in physical pain because of that my husband's a chiropractor and even before I focused
on porn he would tell me stories of people's necks and backs being jacked up and arthritis because of
spending hours and hours hours and hours in front of the computer or masturbating now moving to the
mental tool we know that that change in brain performance pattern that can fall out as this
disregulated dysfunctional brain pattern causes anxiety depression ADHD brain fog difficulty
with memory and concentration so mental health issues in terms of psychological problems are
a byproduct of porn use as is the inability to focus and to feel motivated number eight money
so again remember your time energy and money are being put towards this thing that is taking from
you and it's creating these issues I work with a lot of people who are in a compulsive mode of
spending this m money not only in porn sites but in those other sites for sexual acting
out which can be very very expensive ensive okay number nine you're distracted so what happens is
this narcissistic bubble and this this pull back into the screen is what I call it the supernormal
stimulus of porn is always pulling you back and coupled with the deficit of dopamine that
is created in your life you are not able to engage in your life anymore the pullback into
the screen is there if you feel that way that is real so the stress of your life life pushes you
into the screen but that screen's constantly pulling you through urges and cravings and we
know this there's a scientific study by Valerie voon and her team that shows that there's higher
reward sensitivity for compulsive porn users which means your brain lights up more when you
consume porn than than other people who do not use pornography and what that results in is greater
urges and Cravings which you might mistake as a high libido but it's actually that hypersexuality
of the hijacker masked in libido and number 10 is you're angry and irritable and that comes from the
dopamine deficit in your life so what I see in a lot of the clients I work with is OCD types
of behaviors OCD behaviors are a way to kind of get control over that dopamine deficit and
to feel okay about it and there might be lashing out in terms of being angry with your people and
irritability is high it's because of the dopamine deficit in your life and I would love for you to
recognize these things are showing up in your life and it's time to pull the plug on this thing if
you're inspired please go to Dr Trish le.com I would love to help you out and through and
up up up to your full potential all right until next time control your brain or it'll control
you