[Intro music]
Textile dysfunction
Hmm
Uh, you put your shirt on backwards
[Laughter]
We're starting off strong, everybody!
Champion juice is not sweat
It's, okay, like
Y'know when you take off your workout shorts
And there's that like, really pungent smell?
No, I don't
It's ju- it's-- you don't work out
It's- there's a really like- there's like a stink
I also don't have a sense of smell
But thank you for going for the insult route!
Yeah, the little death
That's the, y'know, the french word for orgasm
Ooh! Is that right?
Yeah, I can't help if you're too dumb to get the reference
[Laughter]
Jesus! You two gonna switch seats now?
Aah.
5 points for being gutsy enough to insult the host
Yes!
That was either gonna go well for me or
it was gonna go badly.
Well, see, the thing is that Dan was able to finagle
an extra 40 points
And then at the same time lose 30
Dan insulted you, minus 30.
Uh no, I didn't insult him, I just said
Shut up.
Where'd the ten point
[Laughter]
Golden Gus, wow. That's actually--
How long has that been with us, like 2 months?
It's already more valuable than Gus is.
I don't know if it's actually gold.
It's slowly turning into copper Gus.
Gus is slowly turning into old, fat Gus, so that's okay.
I don't know about slow.
Now that we go to our other team
I'm not a team!
I'm one person!
By definition a team is more than one person
Before the show started, Aaron was on my side
Josh was sitting over there, and then right before--
What the fuck is happening?!
Andy's turn into like
The little, like
Muscle person that just hangs around them that's like
Okay, Michael
And just like, goes over and just
[Laughter]
I do good, Michael? I do good?
He does talk like that.
I do good! I do good!
Points to Gus on that
I'm not a fan of the way this is going
He also said he didn't want you on his team anymore
Oh, thank christ. Hey, Chris.
Chris is gonna come
It's Chris
Absolutely! You can put whoever you want in
Yeah? Alright
Oh, you lost someone again!
Yeah
Oh, see-- how many points we got outta that!
Uh, wait wait, disclaimer!
Disclaimer!
Oh, right
What's the disclaimer?
There we go
[Laughter]
Don't put his sock off!
That is gonna be so gross!
I'm leaving!
I don't have a sense of smell
Ooh, they're fat! They're gross!
[Gagging]
[Laughter]
[Dying]
[Laughter]
So you're with your significant other
The night before
And you wrap them tightly in a blanket
And then you hope in the morning
That they're like, something else when you wake up
[Laughter]
That 'ere went over tipple tine
The audience is mesmerized
Old Mr. Brown turned up his eyes in disgust
At the impertinence of nut kin
This is literally the worst 30 seconds in
The history of the internet
And I'm part of it
The squirrels filled their little sacks with nuts
The gifs are gonna live forever
The way that it's supposed to work is that
As it delays it, it's really hard to speak
Ooh
If you're a normal human being
This is the part of On The Spot
Where you explain why the joke was funny
How's that working out for us?
That's how comedy works
Take that, carefully produced segment of the show
I just wanna point out that this show is on--
Is part of your company and you're bagging on it
[Laughter]
Good job, shitty produced show!
I think On The Spot was, like, the number one reason
I sold the company
[Laughter]
["Ooh"s]
And Burnie's on the board!
He's on the board!
I can still fire all you motherfuckers over there
Woah!
It got quiet!
Is-- is anyone turned on right now?
So we have a few-- we have a new team
Yeah, so
We realized that the one thing that
Connects the two of us is Kerry
Y'know, you went to Simple Walk with Kerry
I write with Kerry
Yeah, um
We're team New Best Friends
Aww
Wait, wait, wait
Why not celebrate a brand new, awesome friendship
It's so much better than the past
Thank you! Thanks
Oh my god, your hair is looking great today, by the way
Thank you. Oh, I was gonna say the same thing
About your beard!
Aww! You noticed! I trimmed it yesterday!
Do we have any bleach?