- I just had my life threatened.
A gun literally pointed to the back of my neck.
And I wish I could say that's the scariest part, but it wasn't.
Because this ended in blood and a federal manhunt.
Let me tell you what happened and how
this changed the way I view the world.
So it was around 8PM, I just finished up work.
I asked my friend Dan if he wanted
to hit the streets and walk the dog.
Scout, he's the dog.
And fun fact, he's the worst walker of all time.
He looks cute, but he's old, stubborn, hates to walk.
So we head out to drag Scout around and
try to tempt him to enjoy some fresh air.
And that's when we hit the end
of this dark, dead end street.
And Scout stops.
He looks up, and then he proceeds
to lay the world's largest dump.
He recently just had a diet change that includes
way more food, so his dumps are absolutely atrocious.
So I pick it up, but this thing,
it fills the entire poop bag.
It's so full, you couldn't tie the
bag closed if you wanted to.
It's ridiculous.
So I look around.
There are no trash cans in sight.
This night couldn't get worse.
I'm holding this bag, pinched between two fingers,
literally gagging, like, I need to get back
and get rid of this thing ASAP.
So we start power walking.
And of course, Scout, he's not having it.
He completely puts on the brakes
and forces us to slow down.
He couldn't care less about this
load that I'm carrying.
That's old news to him.
So we're about to exit this dead end street
and cross the road when we see
these insanely bright headlights coming towards us.
They're flying down the road.
We back up a little bit just to let them pass by.
What's going on?
Last thing we want to do is get hit
by a car while carrying 2 lbs of shit.
But instead of driving past
this white car, it slows down completely.
And then they turn off these blinding headlights, like
the universal signal for go ahead across the street.
Consider it that's when not 5 seconds into us crossing
the street, these two guys in black tactical gear and
ski masks, they jump out of the car.
They're screaming at us, pointing guns in our faces.
The passenger, he hops out first.
He has this kind of extra large handgun.
If I had to guess what it was,
I would say it was an Uzi, but this could
have been some kind of decked out pistol.
He heads towards me, then the driver, he exits second.
He's holding a rifle.
I don't get the greatest look at this gun, but it's
roundish, in shape, it's all black and has a gray barrel.
He heads towards Dan, who's now holding Scout's leash.
And they're yelling at us.
They're screaming, Give us your cash.
Give us your cash.
But here's the thing.
Neither of us have any.
Let's put it this way.
I have two things on me, and the second most
valuable is the literal bag of turds in my hand.
So we're standing there.
We're arguing with these guys.
A rifle is pointed at Dan's chest, like, 2ft away.
This machine gun looking thing pointed at me.
And we're saying, we have no cash.
We're arguing, and of course, they don't believe us.
How could we have nothing?
And at this point, it's just back
and forth like we have nothing.
They say, Prove it.
Prove you have nothing.
So Dan says, I have my phone. That's it.
He turns out his pockets, and that's it.
There's literally nothing of value except for his phone.
He says, Take my phone.
That's all I have.
So the driver, he grabs his phone,
and he places it on the ground.
Meanwhile, the passenger, he comes up to me
and puts his gun on the back of
my neck, and he's just holding it there.
And I have two distinct memories of this.
I vividly remember the gun feeling hot
on the back of my neck.
That could be my brain making things up.
But for hours afterwards, I could feel
exactly where this thing was touching me.
And I remember, this was almost worse.
I remember thinking, there's literally nothing I could
have done to avoid this from happening. There's nothing.
No amount of preparation.
There was no time to fix any of this.
That really messed me up.
I like to think that the decisions you make
directly dictate what happens to you.
And I was wrong.
My world was shattered.
I'll get back to that.
So he's standing there, and we're still
arguing about how I have nothing.
I take my phone out of my pocket,
and he pads my other pockets to see them.
That's literally it. That's all I have. By this time.
I've thrown the Turd bag on the ground,
so my hands are out.
He grabs my phone. Gun, still there, hot.
And this is where I'm embarrassed in how I acted.
I didn't realize who I was
dealing with in this situation. I don't know.
I didn't realize.
He goes to grab my phone, and I pull it away.
And I said,
"Don't take my phone."
"What are you going to do with my phone?"
And he stops.
It's just silent.
He looks at the driver, who has a
gun pointed now, like, inches from Dan's chest.
There's this strange moment.
It's hard to even explain this moment.
It almost felt awkward.
But that's, like, not the perfect word for this.
It's just silence.
Here they are, two guys risking their own lives
for cash, and they got nothing out of it.
So they look at each other.
I'm standing there like, what's next?
What happens next? Dan standing there.
He's wearing Jorts and these dad style New Balances
he wore to work as a joke that day. It's ridiculous.
Scout, he's just looking out to nowhere.
Literally nothing's happened.
And finally, without saying a word,
they run back to the car and speed down the blocks.
We're like holy fucking shit.
What just happened?
So I pick up Scout because
of course he has zero urgency.
Still, I need to pick him up and I start running back.
Dan, I kid you not.
He takes his time to pick up
the bag of shit before running back.
So we get back and not even a minute
after our altercation, we hear a bunch of rapid
fire gunshots and a car peel off.
Now it's complete panic.
We run inside, we turn out
the lights, we call the cops.
We have no idea what just happened.
No idea at all.
We don't know if the shots were in our direction.
We don't know anything except for the fact
that they were like 500 ft away, maybe less,
and very soon after our ordeal.
So we're looking out the windows and we
see a white car going the wrong way
down the road, right where everything happened.
We're like, Jesus, they're coming back for us.
They're pissed.
And finally, within about 5 minutes,
the police and an ambulance arrived.
But they drive right past, down
to where the gunshots happened.
Then more police show up, but for us this time.
So we go out, we give a description of events.
But it's strange because, like, more and
more officers just keep showing up.
I'm talking like ten squad cars very quickly.
And that's when they broke the news.
We were told that they shot a woman
not a minute after dealing with us.
This like, way went over me.
I realized we were so close to just being dead.
I was arguing with this guy like a complete idiot.
Now, this was soon after, and we
still didn't have clear details on everything
and didn't all make total sense.
I didn't understand how this woman could have been shot
so quickly after they were dealing with us.
The official record states that there were
guns on us at 8:19 PM
And shots fired at 8:20, 1 minute later.
So what did they do?
Just shoot a lady out of their window?
It didn't make sense.
We didn't know what happened yet.
Finally, we're done talking to the police.
We go back inside, but it was strange
because it was like every few minutes,
more and more agents were showing up.
And now it's not just police officers,
it's Homeland Security, DEA agents all over the place.
So now we have to go out and
we need to explain everything to the DEA.
This has now become a federal case.
The police have given it to the DEA.
We're thinking, okay, DA, maybe this is some kind
of drug related crime or criminals or something.
But then the FBI shows up.
More vans, cars, officers, at least
like 30 vehicles, 50 officers everywhere.
And then both Dan and I are separated
when the FBI get there, we have to both
tell our story to two different FBI special agents.
They're writing everything down.
Not only did the whole event feel fake, like a
gun pointed at me, that doesn't happen in real life.
But the response, this kind of stuff
only happens in movies like the FBI.
But finally we find out what's going on,
like why this is such a big deal.
And trust me, it's not because
Dan and I are remotely important.
It just so happens that the woman
who was shot was a DEA agent.
She was walking down the sidewalk next to
her boyfriend, who was an FBI agent. Seriously.
Here's the headline.
It turns out they lived down the street and we're
just taking a nice evening walk when the passenger of
the car that assaulted us gunned them down.
And that's why I feel so embarrassed
about this whole, about how I acted.
The gun was on my neck while
I was arguing with this guy.
That was the same gun that shot a woman 1 minute later.
Me being dumb could have literally been the end.
Why didn't he shoot me?
But he shot her?
Doesn't make sense.
Here's what the FBI said happened.
They had their guns on us, and they
realized there was nothing for them except for a
bag of dog shit and some New Balances.
And they were frustrated.
So they sped off and right down
the street there's this couple walking.
They jump out with their guns and the couple,
for whatever reason, immediately start running.
They're sprinting away.
The passenger then just open
fires his automatic weapon.
He's angry that nothing is working out,
and he hits this poor woman six times.
She was shot six times.
And then they just speed off.
And the couple immediately rushed to the hospital.
But little did the gunmen know that
they couldn't have targeted a worse couple.
They now have two entire federal agencies, the DEA and
the FBI, pouring all their resources and their people into
crushing these guys for targeting one of their own.
And it immediately turned into this full on manhunt.
And they're using every single technology in the book.
Like, they hacked into Dan's phone to see phones
that were pinging off of his while they had
guns in our faces to track them down.
I know that two arrests were made, but
there's no confirmation yet as to whether this
was absolutely the guys or not.
But they've assured everyone that if that isn't the guys,
they will find the guys and they will
make them pay like, they're done for basically.
Now, the woman who was shot, this is unbelievable.
But she's going to recover, thankfully.
Dan and I are, of course, fine.
We're shaken up and it's pretty hard to keep a
thought in my head for more than 5 seconds.
But here's what I learned in the last few days,
and this is why I wanted to make this video.
I've lived my life thinking
mistakes and bad things happen.
But when they do, you simply learn from it.
You can go, oh, well, if I didn't do X, this
bad thing wouldn't have happened, so I won't do that again.
Lesson learned.
I got a little bit smarter.
This was totally different.
What really messed me up is the fact that
I couldn't have done anything to avoid this.
It was completely the wrong place at the wrong time.
If we left 30 seconds later to go on
that walk, they would have never seen us.
If Scout didn't take that behemoth dump,
they would have never seen us.
And it happened so fast that
there was no reaction time.
There's nothing we could have done, looking back at it.
But that also means there's nothing I could fix.
There's nothing I can fix for the future, nothing I can
point to and go, Well, I just won't do that again.
I mean, I can't just not go
outside for the rest of my life.
There's no solution here.
And that's really been messing with me.
And that's when I realized that's it.
That's the lesson.
The lesson is that sometimes there's just no lesson.
Bad shit can happen for no reason at all.
And it's simply my job to understand that, to accept
that a bad thing happened, it messed me up.
I'm not okay, but I will be.
And to use this experience to
increase my understanding of the world.