WE ALL THE WANT YOUR
MARRIAGE TO BE A GREAT ONE.
MOST OF US HAVE A LOT GOING ON.
WE ALL NEED MORE SLEEP AND
EVERYBODY IS STRESSED OUT.
A LOT HAPPENS.
HOW DO YOU FIT ALL OF THAT
IN WHILE NOT SACRIFICING THE
HEALTH OF THE MOST IMPORTANT
RELATIONSHIP?
IN TODAY'S RELATIONSHIP
REBOOT WE HAVE THREE QUICK,
EASY HACKS PROVEN TO IMPROVE TO
MARRIAGE WITH A FEW EXTRA
MINUTES EACH MONTH.
I HAVE BEEN MARRIED 26 YEARS
AND COUNTING.
THIS SOUNDS TOO GOOD TO BE
TRUE.
I HAVE SAID MANY TIMES THAT
MARRIAGE IS A VERB.
I THINK ONE OF THE ONLY SECRETS
IS TO KNOW WHAT THE RESEARCHERS
ARE SUGGESTING SO WE KNOW WHERE
TO SPEND OUR PRECIOUS ENERGIES.
TALK TO US ABOUT THE
RESEARCH.
ELI FINKLE IS AT
NORTHWESTERN UNIVERSITY IN
CHICAGO.
HE IS A RESEARCH PSYCHOLOGIST
WHO STUDIES RELATIONSHIPS AND
MARRIAGE.
HE WROTE A BOOK CALLED ALL OR
NOTHING MARRIAGE.
I HIGHLY RECOMMEND READING IT.
IN IT IT RECOMMENDS SOME LOVE
HACKS.
WHAT A LOVE HACK IS IS A
RESEARCH-PROVEN TECHNIQUE THAT
TAX LITTLE OR NO TIME.
YOU DON'T NEED THE COOPERATE OF
YOUR PARTNER.
IT CAN IMPROVE YOUR MARRIAGE.
THIS IS ALL ON YOUR.
YOU CAN MAKE MARRIAGE BETTER
FOR BOTH OF YOU.
YES.
ISN'T THAT COOL?
LET'S SEE WHAT THEY ARE.
I BROUGHT THREE TODAY.
THE FIRST ONE IS A STUDY DONE
AT NORTHWESTERN.
HE HAD 120 COUPLES OVER TWO
YEARS.
THE HACK IS THAT HE ASKED HALF
OF THE COUPLES -- TO WHEN THEY
WERE IN AN ARGUMENT THINK ABOUT
WHAT A THIRD PARTY WOULD SAY OR
THINK ABOUT THAT ARGUMENT IF
THEY WERE WATCHING.
HE FOUND THAT THE COUPLES WHO
DID THAT, AND IT TOOK THEM 21
MINUTES OVER THE COURSE OF A
YEAR, THEY WERE ABLE TO DO
BETTER IN TERMS OF MARITAL
HAPPINESS THAN THE COUPLES WHO
DIDN'T, JUST IMAGINING SOMEONE
WAS WATCHING.
DO PEOPLE FEEL LIKE THESE
THINGS THAT SEEM SUPER
IMPORTANT ARE LESS?
WE THINK IT IS ABOUT
EMPATHY.
OR MAYBE YOU'D FEEL A LITTLE
EMBARRASSED IF SOMEONE WAS
WATCHING.
YOUR NEXT ONE IS TOUCHING
YOUR PARTNER.
THIS IS IN A NONSEXUAL WAY.
THE SEXUAL TOUCHING IS A
TOPIC FOR ANOTHER REBOOT.
THE EXPERIMENT IS MARRIED
COUPLES WATCHING A VIDEO
TOGETHER, HALF OF THE COUPLES
WERE INSTRUCTED TO WARMLY TOUCH
THEIR PARTNERS.
MAYBE HAND HOLDING OR TOUCH ON
THE KNEE.
THOSE COUPLES FELT BETTER AND
CLOSER.
EVEN WHEN ONE MEMBER OF THE
COUPLE KNEW THAT THE OTHER
PERSON WAS INSTRUCTED TO TOUCH
THEM.
THEY FELT GOOD.
IT IS JUST THE TOUCH.
THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT THAT.
RIGHT.
THE HUMAN TOUCH BRINGS THE
SENSE OF WARMth.
IT TAKES NO EXTRA TIME.
LOVE HACK NUMBER THREE?
LOVE HACK NUMBER THREE IS TO
BE THINKING ABOUT WHEN YOUR
PARTNER HAS A SMALL WIN OR
SOMETHING THAT WENT RIGHT IN
THEIR DAY, YOU NEED TO CHEER
BIG FOR THAT PERSON.
RESEARCHERS AT UCLA DID THIS
EXPERIMENT WHERE THEY HAD HALF
OF THEIR COUPLES -- EVEN THE
SMALLEST THING, YOU MADE IT
THROUGH A DAY WITHOUT AN
ARGUMENT WITH YOUR BOSS.
REALLY CHEER THAT PERSON ON.
THOSE COUPLE FELT BETTER AND
HAPPIER AND CLOSER.
IT IS LITTLE THINGS.
IT TAKES NO EXTRA TIME.
GIVING YOUR PARTNER THAT
POSITIVE VERBAL AND NON-VERBAL
FEEDBACK AND YOUR PARTNER
DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT IT.
IT IS ALL ON YOU AND YOU'LL
SEE GOOD RESULTS.
THE OTHER PERSON WILL LIKELY
RESPOND IN KINDNESS.