♪♪
[ Upbeat electronic music plays ]
♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-♪ Everybody's talking 'bout my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants on ♪
♪ Everybody's looking at my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants on ♪
♪♪
♪ I'm the only guy in town wearing tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants on ♪
♪ I'm the guy, guy wearing tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants on ♪ ♪ ♪
♪♪
-♪ Everyone in town loves my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants on ♪
♪ People wouldn't lie about my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants on ♪
♪ I can dance real low, I can dance real high ♪
♪ I can sleep real well, know I'm the only guy ♪
♪ That's wearing tight pants ♪
♪ And I'm the only one ♪
♪♪
-Hey!
Hey, slow down there, old friend.
You say people are talking about your tight pants
down at the local five-and-dime?
Well, I find that hard to believe.
'Cause I live in this town, and everyone I know
is talking about my tight pants.
-Well, I talked to Mayor Grimble the other day,
and he declared my pants the tightest in the land.
-Now, you listen to me, you sick son of a bitch.
[ Laughter ]
I don't know who you are or where you came from,
but I'm the only one in this town that can wear tight pants.
You got it?
I will end you.
Don't wake the snake.
Hiss!
[ Cheers and applause ]
You drinking my sake, Kemosabe?
[ Applause ]
Rock-and-rolla, Ayatollah.
I guess I'll find a new town.
-♪ Everybody's talking 'bout my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants on ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
-♪ Everybody's talking 'bout my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants on ♪
♪ Everybody's looking at my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants on ♪
♪♪
♪ I'm the only one in town with tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants on ♪
♪ No one else around is wearing tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants on ♪
♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-♪ Everybody's talking 'bout my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants on ♪
♪ People wouldn't lie about my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants on ♪
♪ I can swing my arms, I can shake my hips ♪
♪ I can dance down the block, knowing I'm the only chick ♪
♪ That's wearing tight pants ♪
♪ And I'm the only one ♪
♪♪
-Slow down there, young lady friend!
[ Laughing ]
You say that people are talking about your tight pants
down at the local Piggly-Wiggly?
Well, I find that hard to believe.
'Cause ever since I moved to this town,
everyone I know's been talking about my tight pants.
-Well, that's funny, because yesterday,
I ran into Mayor Barleycorn,
and he presented me with a plaque declaring my pants
the tightest in all the land.
[ Laughter ]
-Well, I just received an urgent telegram from Governor Grimble
proclaiming today as Tight Pants Day
in honor of my tight pants.
-Listen up, you little bitch.
[ Cheers and applause ]
You better hide your wife! You better hide your kids!
'Cause I will cut you!
I will cut your father. I will cut your mother.
I will scratch you.
Don't make me take off my heels!
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Take it easy, George and Weezy.
-Look, what I'm trying to say is...
get lost, applesauce.
I'm the only one who can wear tight pants in this town.
You feel me?
Don't rattle the cage.
Hiss!
[ Applause ]
We cool-o, Papi Chulo?
I gotcha, hot Sriracha.
I guess I'll find yet another new town.
♪♪
♪ Everybody's talking 'bout my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants on ♪
♪♪
♪ Everybody's talking 'bout my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants ♪
♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
-♪ Everybody's talking 'bout my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants on ♪
♪ Everybody's looking at my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants on ♪
♪♪
-♪ Everybody's talking 'bout our tight pants ♪
♪ We got our tight pants ♪
♪ We gout our tight pants on ♪
♪ We're the only couple wearing tight pants ♪
♪ We got our tight pants ♪
♪ We got our tight pants on ♪
♪ We can dance over here, we can dance over there ♪
♪ We can walk down the street and everybody stare ♪
♪ We got our tight pants ♪
♪ We're the only ones ♪
♪♪
-♪ Everyone in town loves my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants on ♪
♪ No one else around is wearing tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants ♪
♪ I got my tight pants on ♪
-Whoa!
Slow down there, compadre.
You say people are talking about your tight pants
down at the local penny arcade?
Well, I find that hard to believe.
Because ever since we moved to this town,
everyone we know's been talking about our tight pants.
-That's funny,
because yesterday I ran into Mayor Wembley,
and he declared my pants the tightest in all the land.
-Well, we just welcomed our brand new baby boy,
and when we told the news to Governor Grimble, he proclaimed,
"Hark! 'Tis the true heir to the tight pants throne."
-A new baby, you say?
Well, ain't that a bag of beans.
Especially since you and I haven't spoken
since that one, magical night we shared together 9 months ago.
[ Laughter ]
-Now, you listen to me, you fat-faced cob-knobbler!
I don't know who you are or what butthole you crawled out of,
but this is my woman, and that is our baby.
And every night,
he gets swaddled in the tightest of pants.
We're the only ones that get to wear tight pants
in this town.
You drinking my sake, Kemosabe?
-Don't mess with the lioness!
[ Singing "Circle of Life" ]
[ Applause ]
-You sippin' my soup-e, Guadalupe?
-Point taken, Kevin Bacon.
I guess I'll find a new town.
♪♪
♪ Everybody's talking 'bout our tight pants ♪
♪ We got our tight pants ♪
♪ We got our tight pants on ♪