Spring air smells faintly of flowers and hope.
My words are getting washed away by April rain.
But I don't feel like saying much lately anyway.
I wish I could simply lose myself in the sweetest daydream.
Sticking flowers in my hair, frolic
frolicking through fields and listening to music
birds make this time of year -
endlessly, without much thinking.
I spotted this dandelion field last year
during one of my wanders when it was all white and fluffy.
I picked the stems and spread the seeds
in hopes that more will grow next time.
This year I saw the same field all intact
and blooming.
Dandelions bring me an immense happiness -
and sadness all the same.
Who was it that decided
that some deserve a title of wildflowers,
while others are simply just weeds?
To me, dandelions are a sign of joy.
A beautiful flower, an herb
that goes neglected and overlooked by many.
A flower that grows strong and bright and always abundant.
A sign the spring has finally begun.
I picked a bunch of dandelions
to make a small batch of dandelion honey -
a sugar sirup that tastes like flowers.
Historically, dandelions have been used as a medicinal
herb with plenty of antioxidant properties.
Making something by hand
like that - searching, foraging, picking,
then turning into something delicious,
is my personal form of self-care.
Doing things that are unnecessary,
that have no reason behind them other than just do -
for joy, as a sort of experiment,
as a way of connecting to nature,
to myself, to my creativity.
I used to be fixated on efficiency, productivity,
doing only things
which will bring me some sort of material compensation.
Scheduling my day by a minute, leaving no space for life.
No wonder I spent most of my early
twenties being depressed.
I recognize that perhaps to an extent it's a big privilege
having an ability,
a chance to do things for no reason other than joy.
But, you know,
I don't think
that's necessarily good to think about it that way.
You might think
from what I show you in these videos,
that I do nothing in my day but frolic through fields,
which is not the case at all.
I too lose myself and work
spend days not moving much, staring at the screen,
juggling deadlines and stressing about life and money.
But can you really call that life?
I think this part of my day, of the week
is simply going through motions
which are necessary to keep myself alive.
Living happens in between -
a minute in the morning
when I open my eyes
and stare the sunlit corner of the room.
It gets flooded by sunlight peeking through the blinds,
which I deliberately left slightly open last night.
A few minutes in the early afternoon,
making a second cup of coffee,
enjoying a moment of calm and breathing in its fragrance.
A Saturday, which I deliberately keep to myself,
disappearing from social media
from the rest of the world,
simply resting, moving, seeing, observing, feeling,
doing all of these unnecessary
but vital things which keep my mind healthy.
Doing things for
no reason is my favorite pastime activity
and a form of mental self-care.
Something I had to allow myself
to do in this busy whirlwind of life
If needed,
scheduling times of rest at moments
when I forget to take care of myself.
It's funny
how simply being in the moment
and enjoying life became a process
that we have to teach ourselves to do.
And that's what I'm doing today.
I'm making
dandelion honey from flowers I foraged in the vast
yellow field.
I picked enough for one jar,
leaving the rest to sleepy bumblebees
and the field mouse that came to say hello.
It's tiny button eyes looking at me through the tall grass.
I even learned to not be afraid of creatures like that.
Bees and mice and other critters.
Well, okay.
Perhaps I still am slightly afraid
and I freaked out just a little bit
when I saw a little creature moving through the grass.
But I'm learning every step of the way
to let myself experience things
which otherwise would have been lost in an ever
changing currents of my busy human life.
I hope you too will find a moment today to simply be,
even if just for a minute,
and I will see you next time.