It's Clay with Relationship Inner Game and in this video I want to explain to you a little
bit of what I call fortune cookie advice when it comes to relationships.
Now I know that a lot of people have heard a lot of what I call fortune cookie advice.
Just use like short little pithy little sayings that people throw around that, you know, maybe
there are one or two sentences or something like that, like something that you might find
inside of a fortune cookie.
And the problem with a lot of fortune cookie advice is that it really doesn't help you
very much.
And in fact, when you add it all up, the advice has really kind of like a do nothing sort
of approach.
It's like if I were to actually follow this advice, I would basically be doing nothing.
And um, when it comes to break ups, there's a very, very common piece of fortune cookie
advice out there.
And that is that time heals all wounds.
So I want to discuss that a little bit today and explain to you why this isn't really a
very productive strategy when it comes to dealing with a breakup.
So first of all, I'm sure if you've ever gone through a breakup, you've heard this phrase,
time heals all wounds, right?
And I want you to know that it's not really true.
Time doesn't necessarily heal all wounds and I know this from personal experience.
I had actually a very good friend of mine who before I ever became, like somebody who
helps people with relationships or dating, you have to went through a breakup and it
was a really bad breakup.
I'm basically him and his girlfriend broke up when she was going to go off to graduate
school on the other side of the country.
And he was just left in the Seattle area where the two of us grew up and he was a really
heartbroken.
He spent a lot of time hanging out with me because we were good friends but I could tell
he was really heartbroken.
And this went on for over a year.
He would, you know, try to work things out with her or try to send her love letters right
here, love songs, all of that stuff.
And the two of them just weren't kind of clicking.
They were just kind of rubbing each other the wrong way and there were all these conflicts
and everything and you know, even after a year he was still caught up in this.
His wounds had not been healed due to the breakup.
And even taking this a step further you know sometimes I talk to other people out there
who help people with dating and relationships and I was talking to this one relationship
coach out there and he said that I'm the longest period of time that he had noticed that somebody
had been hung up on their acts that he had observed was over 30 years.
Yeah.
So one of his clients was still hung up on some college girlfriend that he had when he
was, you know, maybe 18, 19, 20 years old or something like that.
And now he was well into his fifties and still hung up on that woman and every interaction
you had with another woman when he was always comparing it to her, wishing that the the
woman who was dating her and all that stuff, and so I hope you don't believe that time
heals all wounds because it really doesn't necessarily work that way.
So if that's the case, then what actually does heal wounds that is actually a concentrated
and focused effort on actually healing.
It's a concentrated and focused effort on releasing the pain and the emotions of the
breakup so that you have the space and desire to welcome in some sort of new energies and
sort of new dynamics.
I'm sort of new whatever into your life and oftentimes for some people that will happen
automatically given time, but it doesn't always happen that way.
Usually when people naturally and organically heal from a relationship break up, it's because
it's not because time passes, it's because they get kind of fed up with the energy of
the breakup.
They get fed up with just some kind of sitting in that pain, sitting in that sadness, sitting
in that heartbreak, and they just decided enough is enough.
I am ready to move forward with my life and do something else.
And that kind of Cathartic moment, that Cathartic experience can actually change the energy
surrounding that person to the point where they are ready to step into some sort of new
chapter.
Whether that's embracing, you know, life as a single person starting a new relationship
or you know, anything else entirely.
And some of us, we need a little bit of an extra kick in the ass to get ourselves over
a breakup.
And, you know, yeah.
Even if you, even if you don't kind of go and, and consciously seek out healing from
a breakup, you absolutely couldn't get over a breakup a whole lot faster if you did.
So just remember that time doesn't heal all wounds when it comes to break ups or emotional
things.
What actually does heal all wounds is a concerted effort to heal, to move on, and to really
step away from an out of the pain and agony that you are going through and, um, that is
something that I always want you to remember.
If you are going through a breakup, I also want you to know that we do have a new course
that is completely free that is available for you to sign up for today.
If you are interested.
It's called the self love bootcamp and it can start to change your relationship and
your dynamic with yourself so that you can actually create that space in your life to
start a new direction.
Whether that is letting go of the past, through some kind of relationship breakup or some
sort of a relationship pain in the past, or whether it's creating space for something
new, a new chapter, whether that's dating, whether that's a committed relationship, whether
that's something else entirely.
The self-love bootcamp can help you nurture yourself and heal yourself so that you have
the space and capacity to do all of that.
And if that's something that you're interested in, please head on over to the website: modernlove.life/self-love
and over there, you can go ahead and sign up at no cost today and you can get started
to simple five day process of going through one lesson a day for five days and you'll
learn a simple little self love technique will help you move on from things such as
a relationship breakup.
Why wait for time to heal your wounds when you can take matters into your own hands and
get over it whole lot quicker.
So again, this has been Clay with Relationship Inner Game and I will see you in our next
video.
Please take care.