I said in a video once, “your haters are your biggest fans because they’re always going to
be there to give you the motivation you need to prove them wrong, even though you don’t have to.”
They’re always one of the first people to comment whenever you present yourself to the world.
They’re the ones who make sure to prove to you that you’re still relevant. When you accomplish
something, they’re always there for you to give you even more motivation. That makes them fans.
That’s how I like to think of them. Though, at first glance, haters may seem intimidating,
and if they’re a flat-out bully that’s even worse...
but they are defeatable! In the past I’ve talked about how to handle these
haters in a clever manner. This time I want to provide a few examples of what not to do
when you run into one, or any form of uncalled for criticism, or judgement for that manner.
To help me do that, I will once again be using The Amazing World of Gumball as an example. I mean,
can you blame me? This show is like a goldmine for ideas, and inspiration.
To give some brief context for the story I want to talk about, Gumball’s dad,
Richard, is a very kind person. He’s probably one of, if not the nicest character in the show,
and there’s nothing wrong with that, however, being too nice can screw you in certain areas
in life. I think we all can testify to this. Not everyone will be nice back,
and you’ll definitely run into a few jerks every now and then who will try and manipulate you.
Harold Wilson is a great example of one of those jerks. He’s been Richard’s bully for years.
It all started in high school, he would take advantage of his gullibility,
and humiliate him in public every chance he gets. In this clip, he intentionally bumps
into Richard’s car, with his kids inside, throws the keys straight into his face,
then laughs at him. Then in the store, he makes sure to disrespect him once again.
Come on? You’re just gonna take that Richard? The last thing I want is to give people the impression
that I’m some kind of God-tier, alpha male, who knows exactly how to put anyone who rejects me,
criticizes me, or bullies me in their place. I’m far from that. If anything,
I sympathize with Richard because I know exactly how difficult it is to stand up for yourself,
or to not let the comments and actions of others get you down.
Richard’s too embarrassed about the situation to talk about it with anyone else,
and I feel for him, considering he is the father figure in his family.
He doesn’t want to look weak in front of his wife, and he especially doesn’t want to look weak in front of his
kids. That’s why whenever Harold shows up, his immediate response is to maintain a fake smile,
and to act natural around him to avoid any drama, then hope and pray in the back of his mind
that he doesn’t stay long. To put it simply, he doesn’t have a savage bone in his body.
Richard is giving his bully proof that his comments and actions are discouraging him.
Haters feed off your misery, body language and hopelessness. They want to see you scared,
and depressed. By acknowledging his existence, and going along with what he says,
he’s basically giving his bully validation. Don’t even acknowledge him.
Ignore him. Pretend like he doesn’t even exist.
For me, this strategy has worked multiple times. Eventually the hater will just give up.
Granted, that doesn’t work all the time. Sometimes the situation is a bit more serious, and in those
cases, you’ve got to ask for help. Now, I know how hard that can be as well. For me personally,
sometimes my ego tries to convince me that I should be man enough to handle whatever it is
I’m going through, and I should be able to figure it out on my own. When in truth, some battles are
too challenging for me to handle on my own. It would be wiser to have some type of partner,
or team by my side. There’s this misconception that asking for help is a sign of weakness,
and that can’t be further from the truth. It actually shows bravery. To trust a complete
stranger to help you, to trust someone that you don’t even know that well to be there for you,
to trust a friend, or a family member that they’ll still love you even after you tell
them what’s going on, that’s one of the most courageous things anyone could do. So yeah,
don’t let anyone convince you that, “you’re weak” or you’re bothering anyone by asking for help.
Hell, if this episode is anything to go by, Richard’s kids genuinely feel for their father.
They want to help him, and do the best they can to help him throughout this episode
...and even though they don’t do a very good job, it’s the thought that counts. Sometimes the thought is all you
really need to feel confident, to feel hopeful, to feel like everything is going to be alright.
The most important thing… Forget everything I’ve said in this video so far. The most important
thing is to never let anyone take your swagger, peace and happiness away. There will be times
when you want to hang your head low, when you might doubt your abilities, when you want to
give up completely, and in those times, you have to dig deep, and find the strength, determination,
and perseverance somewhere within yourself to keep moving forward. Don’t ever abandon yourself.
Those times when nobody is giving you validation, you have to give validation to yourself. Those
times when nobody believes in you, you have to believe in yourself. Those times when it seems
like nobody is there to pick you up, you have to pick yourself up. Because to abandon yourself is
to give the bullies exactly what they want, which is to hate yourself, like they hate themselves.