Translator: Victoria Davydova Reviewer: Yulia Kallistratova
(Music)
(Applause)
Thank you.
It's been a long time since I performed on a big stage.
It was 3 years ago
on national contest "Almaty jas".
I represented the city of Aktobe in the intermediate age group.
My teacher and I had been preparing for the contest for a long time.
About 8-9 months for sure.
We rehearsed our programme over and over again.
It came to a point where I lived at my teacher's place for a month.
I rehearsed my programme day and night until I could do it in my sleep.
Yet, despite all my efforts,
I did not manage to become a winner in any category.
I didn't bring any prize to Aktobe.
I didn't win the Grand Prix either, and I left empty-handed.
My parents, friends, classmates, peers, absolutely all of them
had high hopes for me and were disappointed with the result.
When I came back home,
I noticed that people started treating me differently.
But most importantly, I treated myself differently.
I had always wanted people to like me.
I did what was expected of me.
I thought that happiness was the approval of others
and did everything possible to earn it.
Yet, despite being praised,
no matter how many times I performed in front of a big audience on a big stage,
it no longer brought joy.
I wasn't feeling happy.
And I wondered why it was happening in the first place?
Why do people praise me?
I enjoy what I'm doing.
Why doesn't it bring happiness, doesn't fill me with joy?
I realized that playing the violin was not my dream.
It was rather the dream of my parents, who wanted me to be a musician.
And I had followed that dream
without thinking or realizing the importance of one's own choices.
But now I understand that we need to take responsibility for ourselves,
for our decisions, and for our future.
Then I asked myself, What do I want?
What are my aspirations? What are my future plans?
What are my goals?
Unfortunately, I wasn't able to answer these questions for a long time.
Only about a year later,
when the Nazarbayev Intellectual School announced admission,
I wanted to do something, I wanted to apply.
Because I liked the idea:
what is the Nazarbayev Intellectual School?
Without a second thought, I decided to enter the school.
But before submitting the documents,
I decided to consult my parents.
Their reaction was ambiguous.
My father didn't mind; on the contrary he supported me, but my mom --
ever since I was born, she was sure that her daughter would be a musician,
a People's Artist of Kazakstan, so she was very upset
when I told her
that I wasn't going to play the violin professionally any longer.
Despite this, my mother and I reached a compromise.
She said that I would live my own life and so my future's up to me.
My parents wouldn't be there for me.
That's why I needed to learn how to make the right decisions
based on my own aspirations
and find a way out of challenging situations.
My mom and I understood each other, I was glad.
I was scared when I went to take the entrance examination.
I felt the difficulty and impartiality of the entrance examination.
But a week later, when we got the result
and I saw my name on the list of admitted students,
I was incredibly happy and pleased with the result
because I had succeeded in something I actually wanted.
At that time I realized that my own decisions
bring me far more joy than others' approval,
praises, and compliments.
Summarizing the talk, I want to say
that it is important to make your own decisions
and take responsibility for them
because every decision you make has an impact on your future
which is based on your own aspirations,
and what you want to achieve, what you want to do.
Because profound changes are impossible
without profound thoughts about what you want.
Thank you.
(Applause)