How do you know if your ex secretly wants you back but won't admit it? That's what we're
going to be talking about in this video. But first, my name is Clay, with modernlove.life.
We help you get the great loving relationship that you're looking for, without having to
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All right. So anyway, with all that being said, we're talking today about how do you
know if your ex is secretly wanting you back? And this can be more common than you think.
There's oftentimes a lot of emotional fear that someone might have towards getting back
together with you. That is to say, they might be afraid of admitting that they were wrong.
They might be afraid of how their friends and family might see them. They broke up with
you and then they maybe got into a relationship with someone else. And then if they break
up with that person, get back together with you, they might look like a hot mess or something
like that to their friends and family. Like they're just kind of one of those people that's
just always in and out of a relationship and can't decide what they want. There's all sorts
of emotional reasons that could keep your ex sort of locked in place without actually
taking that step forward to go after what they want, which might be actually getting
back together with you. So let's get into some of this. Now, the first
thing you want to do is to look at your ex's actions. Imagine like if you actually had
a remote control and you could just hit the mute button and just ignore all the words
that they're saying, and just look at their actions. Do their actions say that they care
about you, that they like you, that they want to keep you in their life? Now, you can just
ignore all the talk that they're saying, obviously, that's like, "Oh, we're just so incompatible.
We could never work out. Blah, blah, blah," all that stuff. You're just going to mute
all that out and you're just going to pay attention to the actions that they are taking.
Are they spending time with you? Are they contacting you? Are they communicating with
you? Are the two of you spending time together? Are they taking a thoughtful interest in you
and what's happening in your life? All these sorts of things. Take that into consideration
when you're trying to evaluate whether or not your ex still has feelings for you and
maybe they even secretly want you back. Next up, you want to notice if your ex is
keeping in contact with you. And obviously, for non-essential reasons. Now, yeah, they
might have some sort of excuse like, "Oh, I just need to come by and pick up the things
that I left at your place," or whatever. But if they are in communication with you and
they're kind of lingering a little bit, again, we want to watch their actions, not their
words, but if they're lingering a little bit, talking about things that maybe they don't
necessarily need to and it's not just a transaction, then yeah, that kind of lets you know that
there's some sort of value that they're getting from being in contact with you.
This is especially true if the two of you are in contact, I mean, you don't necessarily
need to be in contact. Now, obviously that speaks a lot. But even if the two of you are
in contact for practical reasons, like you have kids together or you work together or
something like that, but you're engaging in more than just functional communication, I
guess. But you're actually maybe joking around with one another, connecting with one another,
all that sort of stuff, that lets you know that there's a part of them that still enjoys
connecting with you. And that might even go a little bit deeper to the point maybe where
they even want to get back together with you. But again, they might feel uncomfortable taking
that first step towards letting their feelings and intentions be known.
The next way that you might know that your ex secretly wants you back is if they go out
of their way thoughtfully for you. That is to say, they go out of their way to acknowledge
your birthday, or to follow up on some important life event that they know is coming up for
you, whether that's some sort of work thing or some sort of family thing that's happening,
or whatever the case may be. Now, just keep in mind that your ex may be a little bit more
reserved when it comes to this sort of stuff, because they may not want to make their intentions
fully known. They may not want to stick their neck fully out there because they don't necessarily
know how you're going to respond to this. They don't want to risk leading you on or
something like that. They may be a little bit confused about how the two of you are
going to fit into each other's lives. They may like you, they may even want you
back, but they might be a little bit confused. "Is this the right choice for me? Is it not
the right choice for me? I'm not sure. I don't want to go too far out there and give you
false hope and then maybe somehow decide this isn't right for me and then have to take it
back." So they're probably going to be a little bit more conservative, a little bit more reserved
when it comes to expressing this sort of thing. So just keep that in mind.
But if they are demonstrating that they are thoughtfully considering things that are happening
in your life, that does demonstrate that there is still goodwill there. And this does actually
speak a lot louder than you might think, even if it's very subtle, because, again, they
have this gravitational force, I guess you could say, to be a little bit more reserved
when it comes to expressing their interest and emotions towards you.
The third way that you might know if your ex secretly wants you back is if they are
genuinely torn about a decision that they are trying to make, a choice that they're
trying to make. So let's just say that your ex is in a rebound relationship. By the way,
we have a whole video playlist on rebound relationships so you can check that out up
there if you want to learn more about rebounds, the psychology of it, the sort of ins and
outs, the weird behaviors that people do that drives rebound relationships and all that.
But let's just say your ex is in a rebound relationship. And if they're still in contact
with you and still in communication with you and all that when they don't have to be, that
obviously shows that there is some sort of emotional force that's keeping the two of
you in each other's lives. But if they're still not making that jump from one relationship
to the next, that shows that there's kind of a torn emotion in place there. They might
be a little bit afraid of taking a chance. They don't want to break up with their rebound
to get back together with you, only to find out that you don't want to be with them and
then they are just kind of stuck alone, feeling like they did something silly, and they kind
of splat right on the ground with no one to catch them. They want to know that there's
a safe place for them to land. And so you want to look at your ex's emotional
place. Like are they in a place where they're kind of in a tough spot where they kind of
need to make a choice and they're kind of stalling on making that choice. Whether that
is a rebound relationship sort of thing, whether that is acknowledging something that needs
to be acknowledged, whether that's telling their friends and family that the two of you
are seeing each other again, or whatever it might be. If they're genuinely torn, then
it is definitely an indication that they maybe secretly want you back, but there are other
emotional things keeping them at a distance. And this does relate to our next thing, which
is that they still have positive emotions for you, but those emotions maybe being countered
by remaining negative emotions or negative emotions that may come from some other place.
So, I mean, basically the moral of the story for this whole video is if there's this sort
of emotional tug of war that's happening within your ex, where there's obviously this pull
to be closer to you because there's a valuable experience that they're getting from being
in contact with you and having you in their life, but there's also a reason for them to
pull back. Whether that's still hurt emotions from what happened, whatever was said or done
during, before, or after the breakup, or whether it's something else like, "Oh, I'm worried
that people are going to think I'm silly for getting back together with you because I made
a big drama about us breaking up, or I'm worried that if I make this choice, I don't know if
it's going to be the right choice so I'm going to hang back and be a little bit more reserved,"
or whatever the case may be. And so if there's this tug of war of emotions,
then it really shows that there might be a part of them that's considering getting back
together with you, maybe even wants to get back together with you, but they're still
not exactly sure if they're ready to take that leap, if they're willing to go that little
stretch to make it happen. And of course, this is where you want to start building that
emotional connection, focusing on the advanced relational skills that we talk about in many
videos in this channel, and really building that emotional bond that you can then leverage
to get them to actually make that final choice. Build up that positive side so that it can
be the more powerful side in the tug of war and actually pull them closer towards you.
So once again, I hope this has helped you out. Once again, we do have a very big announcement
that we're going to be making tomorrow. So definitely subscribe to the YouTube channel
if you are not already subscribed. If you want to get on our Facebook page, that's down
in the description below. It's called The Connected Couple. And we also have our email
newsletter and all that sort of stuff. But I'll obviously be announcing it on YouTube
as well, too. So as long as you're subscribed to the channel, you'll get notifications for
that announcement that we're making tomorrow. But anyway, yeah, thank you so much. I hope
this video has been helpful. Once again, hit that thumbs up button. It helps us out, helps
spread this video throughout the internet. It helps share it with other people and all
that good stuff. And if you do want to learn more about those advanced relational skills
that I mentioned a few moments ago, please feel free to check out this video series over
here. It goes into advanced relational skills in greater detail. Or you might want to check
out this video right here. Once again, my name's Clay. Thank you so much for watching.
Please stay tuned till tomorrow, and I'll be sharing my big announcement with you then.
Take care.