- When I saw Jurassic World Two: Fallen Kingdom,
my expectations for this movie was already set low.
Mostly because Chris Pratt did double duty
by being a dinosaur-loving, girlfriend-losing dick
in Jurassic World Two and in Guardians of the Galaxy 2.5,
aka The Avengers: Infinity War,
while the two movies were in production at the same time.
Star-Lord from Guardians of the Galaxy is supposed
to be a dick, but not the dick from Jurassic World Two.
If you haven't seen my last movie review video,
click on the link in the card above
or the description below.
The short review of Jurassic World Two is...
If you have seen the original Jurassic Park trilogy
and Jurassic World, the homages to the earlier movies
makes the fifth movie familiar, predictable and boring.
While sequels are supposed to offer more of the same
from earlier movies, the newest movie need a new twist
to set it apart.
Jurassic World Two has no new twist to offer.
On that note, here are my three highlights,
two bad, one good, from the movie.
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Jurassic World Two opens with the news
that the former dinosaur amusement park is under threat
from a previously dormant volcano now on the verge
of exploding, nationwide protests are trying
to save the dinosaurs from extinction, again,
and a Senate hearing is underway to determine
what the U.S. government can do, if anything,
to save the dinosaurs.
Jeff Goldblum reprised his role as Dr. Ian Malcolm,
a chaos theorist, to testify before the Senate hearing,
advocating that the dinosaurs should be left to die
or risk humanity going extinct from a dominant species.
While his character had always provided the scientific moral
high ground in the series, his warning monologue
from the first Jurassic World Two trailer was not
in the movie.
- These creatures were here before us.
(dramatic music)
If we are not careful...
(dramatic music) (dinosaurs growling)
They're gonna be here after.
- What we got was an old man rambling on for the 80 seconds
that he was on the screen, diminishing what should have been
a stellar performance to launch the movie.
I find it odd to see an old white male senator,
presumably a Bible-thumping conservative from the Midwest,
trying to shoehorn the dinosaurs
into the context of the Bible.
While God has always been present
throughout the Jurassic Park and Jurassic World movies,
it was always in the context of genetic engineering
allowing man to play God by making changes to life
that should not be made.
- God creates dinosaurs.
God destroys dinosaurs.
God creates man.
Man destroys God.
Man creates dinosaurs.
- Dinosaurs eat man.
Woman inherits the Earth.
- The senator announces in a televised press conference
that letting the dinosaurs die was an act of God
and the government will not get involved
in saving a doomed species.
An act of God is what the insurance company says
when they don't want to pay off your claim.
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The other reason why politics is in Jurassic World
is because Claire Dearing, played by Bryce Dallas Howard,
is a political activist trying to get support
for saving the dinosaurs.
Never mind that she was the operational manager
for the amusement park that her old company
paid out $800 million in liability claims
for dinosaurs attacking and snacking on the attendees.
Three years after an epic disaster at an amusement park
that resulted in the loss of life
should have Claire knee deep in lawsuits
and trying to avoid prison time.
Becoming a political activist
would have been a remarkable comeback in real life.
The other political action came from the auctioneer,
played by Toby Jones, who is short, has a nasty temperament
and a larger-than-life hair that flies apart
whenever a dinosaur breathes his way.
Where have we seen this flying larger-than-life hair before?
♪ And bright stars, through the perilous fight ♪
♪ O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming? ♪
- I'm sure that was coincidental
and not a liberal Hollywood conspiracy.
If you're not familiar with Toby Jones,
he played the mad scientist in Captain America
and Captain America: Winter Soldier.
I was confused by Toby Jones without the glasses
and a German accent because he reminded me
of a young Mickey Rooney.
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One of the big controversies about Jurassic World
was Claire Dearing running around the amusement park
and chasing after dinosaurs
in the jungle wearing high heels.
I guess a lot of people were upset
that she wasn't wearing a pair of pink Reebok sneakers.
The first time we see Claire in Jurassic World Two,
she is wearing her high heels.
Later, in the jungle, she is wearing a pair of brown boots.
According to an article that I've read,
Bryce Dallas Howard insisted that the first scene
of Claire showed her in the high heels
and not the sneakers as written in the script.
No word if the script called for a pair
of pink Reebok sneakers.
I loved Claire's footwear more than anything else
in Jurassic World Two.
Leave a comment below on whether
or not you loved Claire's new footwear.
Thank you for watching.
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