- If you could shed some light on kind of like,
how I've changed, before and after.
- When you were drinking, I didn't see you very often.
- Hey, SoulPancake.
So in the first video, I told you about my sobriety,
how I got here.
The second video, talked about COVID
with some friends of mine,
and how they're dealing with being sequestered at home.
And then, in this video,
I wanted to talk about the benefits, right.
Like obviously there's a huge benefit
because I no longer drink, I no longer use,
I'm never, like, that isn't my first reaction.
So, I wanted to ask a few friends what other benefits
has program and being sober brought them.
- Well, it's allowed me an openness,
to connect with other people,
not only on a recovery basis, but as a whole.
Also, for my personal development, you know?
It's allowed me to be a better parent.
It's allowed me to have better work relations with people.
- Okay, so this program, this fellowship has,
like, allowed me to take action,
and to turn into a person that I really love.
Like, my moral integrity and my fiber,
is aligned with who I want to be.
- I do think that I learned, personally,
a lot of great leadership skills in the program,
by sponsoring and being secretary of meetings.
And it's really awesome to see other people
who aren't that comfortable with that role, really step up
and shine, and then it translates into the real world,
where you learn how to be part of the force for good,
you know, and I think those are all, when we're at our best,
the fact that anybody can step up and contribute
is, you know, for the common good,
is really a unique aspect of our program.
It's more than just, kind of a free group therapy
or a self-help program.
- And what Alcoholics Anonymous gives me,
is not only tools to kind of, adjust myself to the world,
and be a functional human being,
but also, then, I get the self-esteem
of being able to pass those tools on to other people,
and in so doing, learn to love myself.
So that negative self talk that was so intense,
and so, like, kind of the basis of who I thought I was,
even well into recovery, now I have evidence
that I'm actually a useful, helpful, lovable human being.
- And then I wanted to see what my sobriety
kind of looked like to someone else,
so I called my older brother.
I wanted to talk to you and see if you could shed some light
on kind of like, how I've changed, before and after.
- I mean, I guess the first thing would be
that when you were drinking, I didn't see you very often,
you know, you would drop in and then you'd be gone.
I mean, I've got a few, you know,
good Josh drinking stories,
but I don't know if this is the appropriate place
to share those.
You know, we all have those funny drunk stories, in there.
They're a good laugh and everything,
but I also knew that you were really struggling with it,
and that it was not a place you wanted to be.
And you know, coming from our history,
it was something that was very painful for you.
The good news is, you know, you're back in my life.
I see you, we talk a lot,
and it's really important to me to maintain that.
And just watching how you've grown up into a man,
I'm so grateful that you're sober.
I guess, you've really had to grow up,
since Dad passed away and, you know,
you've been, basically, on your own.
I wasn't around and, you know, Mom wasn't around,
nobody was around.
And you know, luckily you were sober,
and you were able to do what you had to do,
and you're still doing it.
And I'm always impressed, 'cause I know it's hard.
I know it's really hard out there,
and I think you're doing a great job.
I think a really good example of you growing up,
and growing, is when we had to deal with Mom passing away,
and that was heavy-duty.
And we had to go get a real view
of what alcoholism leads to, right?
I mean, not all of us get sober.
And we had to deal with that in a very real way,
and it was really painful and gnarly.
And I remember being there with you,
and the thing that I really remember,
was feeling like I could count on you,
you know, we were in this together,
and it wasn't me, you know,
supporting you to get through this.
I mean, you were there for me, as well, and I felt like,
you know, we could kind of lean on each other
and get through it, which, you know, we've had to do.
And I don't think
you would've been able to do that,
if you were still drinking.
- Seeing how this disease
has played out generationally, with us.
- Yeah.
Both of our grandparents on Mom's side
were recovering alcoholics.
And then you've got Mom, who was full-blown alcoholic.
You had Dad, who was a full-blown alcoholic but lived,
you know, the last 30 years of his life sober.
You've got you, I mean, you've got me, you've got you.
And now we've got my son,
you know, who's in recovery.
And it's just, you know, we have the gene.
And no matter how much we try to deny it,
or justify it, or get around it,
I mean, we just, none of us could.
I mean, we've all got it, and we have to deal with it.
You know, watching you help my son in his recovery
has been another godsend,
because, you know, he looks up to you so much.
And having you there, I know is so helpful to him,
and makes me really feel good too.
- So whether alcoholism affects you,
a loved one, family member,
I hope if you take anything from these videos,
you take the fact that there's hope.
You're not alone.
You're not alone in fighting this.
You're not alone in going through this.
And you don't have to be alone in going through this.
If you're out there and you're hurting,
you're suffering, pick up the phone.
I know it can be the hardest call you've ever made,
but it could be worth it.