[upbeat music]
Two weeks ago, a judge in Texas banned
the abortion pill nationwide for safety reasons
because even though women have used it safely
for over two decades, he's a man,
and I guess he just knows better.
[audience laughing]
Now thank god the Supreme Court has
temporarily halted that decision,
at least until Clarence Thomas comes back
from his all expenses paid cruise.
But that doesn't stop individual states
from enacting their own bans.
And over a dozen states already have,
including Wyoming, which bans both Mifepristone
and a second abortion pill, Misoprostol.
But we looked into it
and it turns out it's not a ban for everyone.
You can still get Misoprostol in Wyoming
as long as you're a dog,
[audience laughing]
or a cat, or a horse.
Because veterinarians in Wyoming can
still prescribe the pill for animals.
Which means if you are a woman
in Wyoming whose rights are being restricted
you might need to get creative.
[audience laughing]
[soft jazzy piano music]
[audience laughing]
Shh.
Good girl.
I'm your mommy.
Hi, you must be Desi.
Thank you so much for seeing me.
Her, my girl.
Waffles.
Of course, and what can we do for Waffles today?
Waffles was wondering if you could write a prescription
for the abortion pill.
Okay, when did your dog become pregnant?
-[Desi puking] -[audience laughing]
I guess two weeks ago, apparently.
Thank you.
It's just, it's not really a great time for her.
You know, she's really trying to focus on her career.
Oh, I see.
And what does she do for a living?
She's a sled dog.
[Doctor] She's a sled dog.
Yeah, and she's also a bomb sniffing dog.
And as you know, pregnancy really messes
with the olfactory organs.
No, that's not a thing.
But mostly she's a therapy dog.
Aren't you Ruffles?
I thought you said her name was Waffles.
It's just so crazy that this would happen right now
because she always uses protection.
Oh, you mean she's fenced in?
Oh, she's fenced in all right.
It's the bikers down there.
Jesus.
Dogs are so expensive.
Do you know how expensive dogs are?
I do.
I'm actually a veterinarian.
There's dog food, there's doggy daycare,
there's doggy Taekwondo lessons, there's doggy diapers.
And then there's doggie college,
and that's just the first 18 years.
Most dogs don't live that long, but.
And she already has two puppies at home
and they are sucking the life outta her, quite literally.
[Waffles whines]
And this is her [beep] decision.
This is her decision.
And that's why these pills exist.
So please give her the pills, please and thank you.
Did I say please?
[soft piano music]
It's okay.
She doesn't have to explain herself.
We can prescribe abortion pills for your dog.
[audience chuckling]
[soft piano music continues]
Okay.
Thank you.
Hey!
That's my dog.
[audience laughing]
So sorry.
[audience clapping]
I'm so sorry.
I don't know how it happened.
Anyways, since we're here,
could you prescribe an abortion pill, you know, for my dog?
[audience laughs]
-[Waffles whining] -Yeah.
What's your name?
I mean her name?
[upbeat music]
What I want to get clear here today is
what are the actual services of Planned Parenthood?
Well, thank you Leslie, for asking me that question.
And thank you for sharing how important
Planned Parenthood has been for you,
because that has been the story
for so many people in their lives.
Planned Parenthood really represents reproductive freedom.
We sell freedom and agency.
It means that when you walk
into a Planned Parenthood health center, you may be coming
for birth control, STI testing, cervical cancer screenings,
breast cancer screenings, gender affirming care.
And yes, we proudly provide abortion
because that is also part of healthcare.
That is the work that we do.
[audience clapping, loudly affirming]
That's what we do.
On the other side of every single abortion, every choice
that someone makes to not continue a pregnancy,
we are also seeing the impact on miscarriage management.
We're also seeing the impact on their wives
on their daughters, on their sisters
on their workers, on their coworkers.
And so men, I would say actually are showing up
in a much stronger way.
There's a lot of them out there free styling
'cause they still don't know how our bodies work
how our periods work, how our pregnancies work.
But there are a lot of men who are showing up
and I think it is really important
to give them the energy to continue to do that.
Yes.
-[audience applauding] -Yes.
How do we combat that?
Like, this thing about our rights and everything,
how we keep these [beep] out of pussy?
-Well. -[audience laughing]
Well.
I mean, first of all, I mean, we have to be clear
that the Supreme Court made a decision
but the Supreme Court doesn't get the last word, we do.
[Audience Member] Yeah.
-Yes. -[audience cheering]
And we are gonna need to fight state by state
because they are coming for birth control.
They are coming for IVF.
They are coming, they're trying to, they're literally trying
to bankrupt us in Texas, Planned Parenthood in Texas.
They are trying everything they can
to stop people from getting access to care.
But what we have, and you know, people like you who are
just, you know, passionate about freedom, passionate
about justice is an opportunity
to really be a leader and a volunteer.
Oh!
[audience cheering]
Oh.
[audience applauding]
Now you know you shouldn't gimme no damn bull horn.
I'm gonna be out there on the streets going,
"Hey women!
"Hey women, are you leaking?"
"Come to Planned Parenthood
"so we can do some peeking!"
You know what I'm saying?
[audience cheering, applauding]
"Hey guys, come in quick
"so we can fix your dick."
You know?
[upbeat music]
And the terminology that they use,
it's like scare tactics.
Like, you know, like partial birth abortion
and abortion doctors.
Like, no, no one goes to college and go, you know,
"What you gonna be?
"I'm gonna be a cardiologist.
"What you doing?
"Ooh, I don't know, I think I'm gonna work with feet.
"What about you?
"Abortions, that's all I'm doing, just abortions."
I mean, there's no such thing as like an abortion doctor.
They used to call them abortionists.
So that's like, really not a real doctor.
You don't wanna go to an abortionist.
[Host] Right, right.
Abortion doctor is a demeaning term.
OBGYN is a good term.
Providing care for women is a good way to term,
good way to put it.
[audience applauding]
And it's all intended to make it seem
as though abortion is not part of healthcare.
And the very important thing that everybody has
to think about is abortion is part of healthcare.
[audience clapping, affirming]
Absolutely.
I'm glad you're saying that,
to hear that young women are active
and they're voting because we need them
because the House Majority Leader Steve Scalise said
that roles reversal, and this is quote, he said
only the first phase in the battle.
Now the next phase begins.
Like, what is that the next phase?
What do you think that means?
I think it means contraception, going after contraception.
[audience members oppose, groan]
That, you know, there are right-to-lifers
who believe that the birth control pill is
what they call a chemical abortion.
They think the morning after pill is, which you take
to prevent a pregnancy is actually an abortion.
They think the IUD is an abortion.
It's like, it's in there,
it's performing abortions every day.
[audience members laughing]
They have their own facts.
And I think that we're already seeing
that contraception which should be part of the, you know,
if you're against abortion, you should be in favor
of contraception because that will prevent.
-[audience clapping] -[Host] Right.
But we're already seeing moves
to make contraception harder to get.
So they have no idea how a woman's body works.
-That's so true. -There's no science.
That's so true.
There was recently a state legislator in a very red state
of Idaho or Utah, I think, and he said,
"I raise cattle.
"I know all about what goes on.
"And I've walked behind cows."
And I'm thinking, so you've looked up a cows behind
and you think you understand what happens with women?
I mean, how crazy is that?
-[host laughing] -[audience laughing]
-Oh. -I know.
That's terrifying.
It's terrifying, it is, it is.
So, and it's such a polarizing issue.
How do we change minds?
How do we, you know, sway them?
Or is it education or is it,
is it like a personal experience?
What is it?
Well, I think it's all those things.
I think personal experience.
If people know someone who's had an abortion
they start to think differently.
And there's actually a sociological study
that shows this by a sociologist named Sarah Cowan
who found out that even very, very anti-abortion people,
if it's someone in their family, if it's a friend,
they'll be kind a lot of the time.
They might even drive that person to the clinic
even if they think it's the wrong thing to do
because they can relate on a human level
to the difficult situations
that women who have abortions are often in,
involving poverty and abuse,
and health problems, all kinds of stuff.
Having other things that they really wanna do
in their life, like hold a job, go to college, all that.
So people are not as evil as they seem.
People are not as evil as they seem.
That's my mantra.
[upbeat music]
In America and honestly, everywhere, motherhood is treated
as a woman's central purpose in life, as if our destiny is
to let a tiny stranger rip a hole
through our Pikachu from the inside out.
And then as soon as we turn 18, we're just supposed
to sit back and wait for Nick Cannon to impregnate us?
[audience laughing, applauding]
And look, I have infinite respect for moms
but motherhood is hard.
It's so hard, it even broke Marie Kondo.
[audience laughing]
Tidying up was her life's work.
Then she has kids and was like, "[beep] it,
"living in squalor is fine."
[audience laughing]
So it really shouldn't be surprising
that some women aren't signing up.
But many people aren't just surprised, they're horrified.
Childless women are seen as unfulfilled, unhappy.
Even the Pope has slammed us saying
that not having children is selfish.
First of all, I am not going to take procreation advice
from a guy who's never even penetrated anyone.
[audience laughing, applauding]
Well, not that we know of anyway.
And what's crazy is that
for some reason people feel entitled
to tell you what a horrible person you are
right to your face.
When people ask me, do you have children
and I say no, they always look at me then and say,
"Oh, I'm sorry."
As if like, there's something
like, physically wrong with me.
I've had people break down in tears to me about the fact
that me not having children is robbing them of something.
I've gotten everything from,
"You're selfish for not wanting children.
"Your childhood must have been terrible
"if you don't want to have children."
Are you one of these career-thirsty women
that doesn't want children?
And how could you deny your man the chance
to have children?
I wouldn't wanna be with you.
Yes, it's because men are so upset
every time they're denied a chance to have a child.
[audience laughing]
Watch an episode of Maury Povich to see how excited men get
to find out that they are the father.
[audience applauding]
And it's bad enough when people judge your life choices,
but apparently childless women
aren't just harming themselves,
we're actually destroying society.
You look at Kamala Harris, AOC, the entire future
of the Democrats is controlled by people without children.
And how does it make any sense that we've turned our country
over to people who don't really have a direct stake in it?
We're effectively run in this country via the Democrats
via our corporate oligarchs by a bunch
of childless cat ladies who are miserable
at their own lives and the choices that they've made.
And so they wanna make the rest
of the country miserable too.
[audience members disagreeing, groaning]
Maybe if you two weren't such boner killers
women would wanna have more children.
[audience cheering, clapping]
I don't wanna make the country miserable.
I love this country.
It's where all of my things are.
[audience laughing]
And I've got news for everyone,
instead of shaming childless women for what we're doing
to the country, you should be thanking us.
We are saving society.
We are more likely to give our money to charity.
We have a lower carbon footprint.
We're the reason there are fewer screaming children
on airplanes, in movie theaters, and restaurants
[audience cheering, clapping]
And, every baby we don't give birth to is one less baby
that could grow up to be the next Elon Musk.
[audience cheering, clapping]
[upbeat music]
The reason that I did that piece on Planned Parenthood,
I'm 55 years old, but when I was coming up there wasn't
you know, it's very strict about talking
about sex to your children and stuff.
And you know, my mom got sick
and my dad, my dad didn't wanna talk to me about sex.
You know what I'm saying?
So just to let you know that there's a lotta girls
out there that's like, you know,
that don't freaking know what's going on
with their bodies or what's going on with sex.
There's a lot of men out there that are becoming men
and don't know about stuff.
And that place provides that type of information.
You would not know how much they saved my life,
so much that I have them in my trust.
That's how much I believe that
-that service -[audience applauding]
needs to be one of the most important things.
You know, we already got our rights taken away.
We can't get our healthcare taken away also.
So all the men that's in here
yo, fight just as hard as the women.
-Okay? -[audience applauding]
You got sisters, you got aunts, you got...
This is a real, real war, you guys.
This is a real war.
And I hate to say it, but, and even if it's funny
but "Handmaid's Tale" literally started off
with, "They took our rights first."
And then Congress took over that.
Like, literally, let's not sit here
and watch some obvious shit happen.
Let's [beep] try!
[audience clapping, cheering]
Yeah!
Let's go!
[upbeat music]