RIGHT NOW.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>>> HAPPY FRIDAY, I AM IN FOR
GREG. LET’S WELCOME TONIGHT’S
GUESTS. HERE WE GO.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> HE LOOKED ANY YOUNGER, HE
WOULD BE SITTING ON KEVIN
SPACEY’S LAB. GUY BENSON IS
HERE.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> HE’S BEEN BEHIND MORE BARS
THAN A FELON. HOSTED BAR RESCUE,
JOHN TAPPER.
[ APPLAUSE ] >> HE’S SO SAGE THAT IT IS HARD
>> HE’S SO SAGE THAT IT IS HARD
TO DISENGAGE. WALTER CURNOW IS IN THE HOUSE.
IN THE HOUSE.
>> AND FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR KAT
TIMPF.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> BEFORE WE GET TO FRIDAY, IT
IS TIME FOR THIS.
"GREG’S LEFT OVER. IT IS MY
FIRST TIME READING THESE. WHO
THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO
LET A COMMUNITY COLLEGE GUY
READS ON NATIONAL TELEVISION.
BUCKLE UP, KIDS, HERE WE GO. A
WHITE ACTIVIST WAS ACCUSED OF
CULTURAL APPROPRIATION AFTER
PRETENDING TO BE ARAB, SOUTH
ASIAN, AND LATIN. IF FOUND
GUILTY, SHE WILL BE SENT TO THE
MASSACHUSETTS SENATE.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> GOOD JOB, TEAM.
>>> TIGER WOODS WAS IN HOT WATER THIS WEEK FOR GIVING JUSTIN
THIS WEEK FOR GIVING JUSTIN
THOMAS A TAMPONS. IT IS ENTIRELY
POSSIBLE BECAUSE LEAH THOMAS
STILL HAS HER GOLF BALLS. GOOD
NIGHT, EVERYBODY!
JEFFERY EPSTEIN’S E-MAIL TO A
BANKING EXECUTIVE USING DISNEY’S
PRINCESSES. EPSTEIN PREVIOUSLY
USED MUSICAL NOTES BUT HE NEVER
SHOWED ANYTHING OTHER THAN
A-MINOR. WOW.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> THAT’S FUNNY. BY THE WAY,
EVERYONE HATES JEFFERY EPSTEIN,
BUT THE CLINTONS ALWAYS SAY HE
WAS A GREAT HANK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I AM NOT MESSING AROUND,
FOLKS.FOLKS. WASHINGTON STATE UNIVERSITY IS THREATENING TO
UNIVERSITY IS THREATENING TO
WITHHOLD A STUDENT DIPLOMA
BECAUSE SHE OWES A ONE-CENT
BALANCE. IF YOU GO TO LIBERAL
COLLEGE THESE DAYS, YOU HAVE TO
HAVE NO SENSE. >>> DURING A PRESS BRIEFING,
>>> DURING A PRESS BRIEFING,
KARINE JEAN-PIERRE MISTAKENINGLY
CALLED PRESIDENT BIDEN,
PRESIDENT OBAMA. DON LEMON SAYS THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU
HIRE A WOMAN PAST THEIR PRIME.
KARINE IS 48, WHICH IS THE SAME
IQ AS KAMALA HARRIS. LEMON WAS
OFF THE AIR FOR THREE SHOWS BUT
WE WOUND UP BEING SEEN BY THE
SAME AMOUNT OF PEOPLE IF HE
REMAINED ON THE AIR.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> DURING HIS SPEECH IN POLAND,
PRESIDENT BIDEN SAYS U.S.
SUPPORT FOR UKRAINE WILL NOT
WAIVER. WHEN ASKED IF HE BELIEVE
BIDEN, ZELENSKYY SAYS OH, I
DIDN’T UNTIL I SAW HIM TRIED TO
GET BACK ON THE PLANE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> BUT, MILITARY EXPERT SAYS
RUSSIA SHOULD STILL BE CAREFUL
BECAUSE JOE CAN DO HALF AS MUCH
DAMAGE TO RUSSIA AS HE’S DONE TO
AMERICA, RUSSIA IS TOAST.
>>> CALIFORNIA IS EXPECTED TO
GET HIT WITH THEIR FIRST
SNOWFALL. GAVIN NEWSOM IS
INVITING CALIFORNIANS TO GO POOP
INDOORS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THE GUY HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT
JIMMY KIMMEL BECAUSE EVEN IF IT
IS WARM OUT, HIS EXPERIENCE IS
STILL EXPERIENCING SHRINKAGE,
YOU KNOW?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> A RARE TORNADO HIT NEW JERSEY
THIS WEEK. LOCAL OFFICIALS ARE
CALLING IT JERSEY’S BIGGEST
DISASTER SINCE 2009.
[ LAUGHTER ]
GOOD JOB.
>> THAT’S FUNNY. THAT’S FUNNY.
BY THE WAY, THE REASON COMEDIANS
ALSO INSULT THE CAST OF THE
JERSEY SHORE, WE DON’T WANT TO
INSULTINSULT THE CITIZENS OF JU
GETTING POORLY SPELLED HATE
MAILS. I AM KIDDING, ANYONE FROM
JERSEY HERE?
[ CHEERS ]
>> OH MY GOD, I WILL SPEAK
SLOWER, I HAD NO IDEA.
>>> COCAINE BEAR OPENING UP IN
THEATERS THIS WEEK. THE COKE
ATTACKER WAS JUST A GUY IN A
BEAR SUIT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> ALL RIGHT, LET’S DO THE DAMN
SHOW. CAN SHE BE THE REPLACEMENT
FOR THE MAN WHO CAMPAIGNED IN
HIS BASEMENT? MARIANNE
WILLIAMSON IS ENTERING THE
PRESIDENT PRIMARY. ON THURSDAY,
SHE DOES NOT WANT TO DO IT WITH AN OUTLET OF LIMITED EXPOSURE
AN OUTLET OF LIMITED EXPOSURE
LIKE CNN. HE SHE WOULD NOT BE
RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT AS SHE
FEELS HER GREATEST HOPE AT THIS
TIME. HOW GREAT IS THIS, BY THE
WAY? BIDEN’S GREATEST HOPE AT
THIS TIME IS AN MARTIAN
INVASION. MARIANNE RAN FOR THE
WHITE HOUSE IN 2020 ON A
PLATFORM OF CREATING A
DEPARTMENT OF PEACE. AND PART OF
HER PLATFORM, FREE FLYING BROOMS
FOR EVERYONE. MAYBE THIS TIME
THOSE IDEAS WILL STICK BUT ONLY
IF HER DREAM CATCHER IS TURNED
ON. IT WAS ONE YEAR AGO WHEN SHE
AND YOURS TRULY GOT INTO A BIT
OF A CONVERSATION RIGHT ON THIS
VERY SHOW, HIT IT, GIRL!
>> LET’S START WITH STACEY
ABRAMS. THIS HAD NOTHING TO DO
WITH THE PHOTO OPT, IT IS THE
POLITICS OF DISTRACTION. LET’S
TALK ABOUT THE MISTAKES SHE DID
A PHOTO OPT SO PEOPLE WILL NOT
LISTEN TO THE IMPORTANT THINGS
SHE’S TRYING TO SAY TO THE
PEOPLE OF GEORGIA.
>> CAN I JUMP IN HERE THOUGH?
WHAT SHE’S DEMONSTRATING IS VERY
DIFFERENT AND MASKING CHILDREN
IS AN ABUSE.
>> I WILL GIVE YOU THAT.
>> OH NO, YOU DIDN’T, MARIANNE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> DUDE, SHE COULD NOT TAKE ON A
CAVI. I HAD PEOPLE SUCCESSFULLY
ARGUED THE ROUTE TO LaGUARDIA.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> BUT THEN AGAIN HOW HARD CAN
IT BE TO RUN AGAINST A PRESIDENT
WHO CAN’T WALK? MY ADVICE,
MARIANNE, KEEP THE JASMINE
INCENSE BURNING AND NOT JUST FOR
GOOD LUCK, JOE JUST MADE AN
EXECUTIVE ORDER IN HIS PANTS.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> CAM TIMPF, WE BOTH SPENT SOME
TIME WITH MARIANNE ON THE SHOW,
WE BOTH THOUGHT SHE WAS NUTS.
DON’T YOU FEEL LIKE WE SHOULD
HAVE SOMEBODY YOUNGER LIKE
MOSES.
>> WHEN SHE WAS ON, HER VOICE.
SHE’S A COMFORTING PRESIDENT, I
WOULD PAY A HEFTY MONTHLY FEE
WHEN ANY TIME I AM FREAKING OUT
TO HAVE HER SAYING, YOU ARE
OKAY. SHE COULD DO BETTER IN
SOME WAY. SHE WOULD GO TO EAST
PALESTINE. IT WOULD PROBABLY BE
BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT THAT
BRINGING CRYSTAL THERE WOULD
SOLVE IT. SHE WOULD GO AND THE
DEPARTMENT OF PEACE IS NOT THE
WORSE IDEA BECAUSE I MEAN -- OUR
DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE, I THINK
WE SHOULD GO BACK TO IT BEING IT
INSTEAD OF DEPARTMENT IS OH, WAR
IS MAKING ME MONEY.
>> OH, THANK YOU.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> THANK YOU. I AM WITH HER.
>> BENSON, I WANT TO ASK YOU A
STRATEGIC QUESTION. SHE’S
LAUNCHING HER CAMPAIGN AT
2:00 P.M. ON A SATURDAY. IS
THERE A MORE LESS RELEVANT TIME
SLOT OTHER THAN 8:00 P.M. ON
CNN? IS THERE A LESS RELEVANT
TIME SLOT?
>> SHE MADE THE ANNOUNCEMENT TO
NORTHWESTERN UNIVERSITY STUDENTS
NEWSPAPER WHICH IS MY ALMA
MATER. GO!
THAT’S AN EXCELLENT POINT, AND A
STRANGE ONE. AND WATCHING THE
CLIP OF THAT, WHAT’S HER ACCENT?
IT IS TOTALLY BIZARRE AND YET,
LISTENING TO HER FOR JUST ABOUT
15 SECONDS MADE ME THIS CLOSE TO
JOINING WHATEVER CULT SHE’S IN.
WHERE DO I SIGN AND IT IS
ACTUALLY SOME WHAT DISTURBING.
>> HERE IS, TAKE THE MONEY.
JOHN, I WILL ASK YOU THIS. I
ALWAYS SAID JOE BIDEN WOULD MAKE
A GREAT WALMART GREETER IF HE
DIDN’T MIND BEING AT TARGET.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I HAD A QUESTION. I AM SORRY,
I AM SO GOOD AT THIS. TAKE A
LISTEN. WOULD YOU HIRE JOE BIDEN
AT THE AGE HE’S AT TO RUN ONE OF
YOUR BARS?
>> NO, I WOULD NOT. MAKING ME TO
WALK TO ONE OF MY BARS,
CERTAINLY NOT TO RUN ONE OF
THEM. HE’S STIFF AND HE’S GOING
TO GET ANGRY ALL THE TIME.
SOMEBODY IS GOING TO SAY, YOU
WANT A DRINK AND HE’S GOING TO
BE LIKE -- YOU DON’T NEED A
DRINK.
>> THE WORSE PART IS YOU GIVE
THE MONEY TO A JUTE BOX AND HE
SENDS IT TO UKRAINE.
>> WHERE ARE MY SONGS SNS
>> JOE BIDEN ACTUALLY IS THE
ANGRY OLD GUY AT THE BAR MAKING
UP UPRUPP UPUP STORIES ABOUT HIS
>> YEAH, HE IS.
>> THAT’S HIS STORY.
>> I AM NOT SURE IF I WOULD SIT
A YOUNG GIRL NEXT TO HIM.
>> EXCEPT HE WOULD BE LIKE, YOU
HAD ENOUGH SIR -- I HAVE NOT HAD
ANYTHING.
>> MARIANNE WILLIAMS GETTING
INTO THE RACE, DOES THIS CHANGE
YOUR CALCULUS AS A GUY OPENLY
SUPPORTIVE OF KANYE AND
EVERYTHING HE SAYS.
>> WELL, I DON’T KNOW HOW TO
DECIPHER THAT.
>> I THINK YOU SHOULD CHALLENGE
HIM TO A DEBATE IN A LOTUS
POSITION.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> HE’LL BE ABLE TO WIN WITHOUT
SPEAKING A WORD. HE’LL NEVER GET
INTO A LOTUS POSITION, IF HE
DOES, HE’LL NEVER GET OUT OF IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> BUT, I TAKE HER CANDIDACY
SERIOUSLY BECAUSE IF SHE SPLITS
THE YOGA VOTE, THERE IS REALLY
NO WAY FOR BIDEN TO WIN.
EVERYBODY IS TALKING ABOUT HOW
CHARMING AND SEDUCTIVE HER VOICE
IS. I FIND IT HORRIBLE DEGRADING
AND ANNOYING MYSELF. IT DEPENDS
ON WHO SHE’S CHANNELLING.
>> I THINK SHE MAKES HIM LOOK
TEN YEARS OLDER THAN HE IS WHICH
IS A HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> I AM SORRY I ASKED YOU A
WEIRD QUESTION, I AM TRYING TO
BRIDGE A 300 POINT IQ GAP
BETWEEN YOU AND ME RIGHT NOW.
>> I WILL HELP US BECAUSE I FEEL
STUPID SIT NEXT TO KAT, YOU
KNOW?
>> GUY, LET ME ASK YOU THIS,
THOUGH. WE DO BAG ON BIDEN.
LET’S ALSO GIVE HIM CREDIT FOR
THE POWERFUL WORDS HE INSPIRED
THE COUNTRY WITH. WHO COULD
FORGET THE END OF THE STATE OF
THE UNION. WHEN HE SAYS IT IS
TIME TO CHANGE THE UNIT WHEN --
>> IT REALLY MAKES YOU THINK. IT
REALLY MAKES YOU THINK. HERE IS
A QUESTION ON A SERIOUS NOTE
ABOUT JOE BIDEN AS WE ARE ALL
LIKE OUR JOB -- OR MY JOB IS A
POLITICAL ANALYST, IS IT GOING
TO RUN OR IS IT GUARANTEED?
>> IS THAT MAN SERIOUSLY GOING
TO BE OUR PRESIDENT FOR SIX MORE
YEARS?
>> NO.
>> IS THAT A REALISTIC THING?
>> THAT’S THE QUESTION HE AND
HIS FAMILY HAS TO FIGURE OUT
FIRST.
>> SPEAKING AS AN AMERICAN, 2024
IS HUNTER’S BLOOD ALCOHOL
CONTENT RIGHT NOW.
>> BEFORE WE GO, GREG WILL BE ON
BILL MAR’S BROADCAST. THE
EPISODE DROPS AT 9:00 P.M.