Ahoy mateys, and welcome to the SS Eagle!
[whistling and humming]
♫ Yo-ho, yo-ho, a pirate's life for me! ♫
♫ We rape, we kill, we kill, we kill [a Capella] ♫
♫ Yo-ho, yo-ho, a pirate's life for me! ♫
The treacherous waters are here- [splashed with water] OH!
Oh, blunder vast, [incomprehensible pirate talk]
Argh! We've gotta vacate these areas, these waters are dangerous.
First Mate Marcus, go see what you can find. Aye-aye!
Aye, I'll try and steer us out of here- [more water splashing]
Ugh, blowhole. LAND HO!
What's that? LAND HO!
Hey, land ho! Where do you see it, me hearties?
Hey, land ho's a floating the house on the hill!
That is-. Oh, there is a ho! That's...
Oh! We can't go there, let's not go there, that's disturbing. We don't go there.
Put it in reverse!
We have to find somewhere to dock, First Mate- OH! [wood creaking]
Hey, argh!
Argh! The sea's a-bruined (whatever that means)
To the- to the cabin! To the cabin!
Get to the cabin! Oh, McJuggerNuggets!
The waters are too treacherous! Oh, in here!
Oh, the gaming crap. Ah, Felipe, get out of the way!
Ah, the damn cabin boy! See what's on the telly.
Hopefully we don't get much lightning out here.
If the lightning strikes us beneath the poop deck, we'll be done for.
Did you swab it? I swabbed it, aye.
Felipe, go and give us a re-swab.
Argh!
The internet on the high seas is as soggy as your mother's lemons.
I don't- I have no picture on here, First Mate Marcus
Check the connection! How's the speeds?
Ah, the leechers are taking all me speeds.
Argh, the leechers. The leechers!
Did you pick one with massive seeders? No, it has lots of seeders but lots of leechers.
Argh, we have the get the new album! I can't download the map to the booty!
We don't have the new episode of Game of Thrones.
Oh, we watched it last week.
Shit. Ugh. You know what it is, it's a storm.
Have you ever typed with a hook before?
I've never tried that before, we need to get back up on the deck.
Up we go! We need to navigate, I need your help.
I need your eyes, both of them. Okay. [drops laptop]
Get back up! Right, Felipe! Privateer Larry, we need to head back up.
We need to get out of here. I've never seen a storm like this before!
Ay, I heard about this in the great books.
Here, let me take the document. The document here.
We must document everything. Felipe!
AGUA!
Where's the booty, the booty's fine.
Where are we headed? South-southwest.
South-southwest, you got it. [fires cannon] What the-? Hey! Incoming!
Aye, 'tis as I feared, gents.
It is the most feared pirate, the renegade bootlegger.
Captain No-Ails is here.
MAN YOUR POSTS!
MAN YOUR FUCKING POSTS! [screaming]
First Mate Marcus, pull the anchor up!
Fire back! We have one shot at it!
[fires cannon]
Ahoy, Captain Moby Little Dick!
I'd like to dismantle your ship!
Yeah, well you can't take this ship down!
Oh, shit! Felipe, you give your life for this ship!
Privateer Larry, shit! [wood breaking]
You will NOT take down this ship!
I'm taking it down!
Get it around the-
Aye! It's the Great White Dick!
Get the bathwater out!
Felipe! Oh, he's taking her down!
[all screaming]
Get up, First Mate Marcus! [screaming]
My hook is stuck in my beard!
It's stuck in my beard! I'll get it out of your beard!
I received this, from my father and his father before him!
Throw the wheel! The great wheel!
Throw the great wheel! The great wheel!
Two, three! [tosses wheel]
Where's our cannon?
It's right here, matey.
[all screaming]
Abandon ship!
[wood breaking] No!
The SS Eagle!
No!
I've got all my gaming stuff!
No!
Whoa!
Run for it!
Holy shit!
[screaming]
The SS Eagle!
My God!
What do we do, Private?
Take your life vests! [screams]
Argh, where's mine?
I'm going down. You're screwed! Uncle Larry!
No! No! No!
Holy shit!
First Mate Marcus, Privateer Larry's down! Give the man mouth-to-mouth!
No, I'm okay! Oh, he's back!
He's alive!
Oh! Oh, Felipe!
Holy shit! [all screaming]
My gaming chair!
Aye, that gave me scurvy!
I'd blunder vast for a barrel of rum!
You'll blunder bust?
Why's the ship coming towards us!? The gold ship! It's the gold ship!
The gold ship is coming down!
No-Ails has no bounds!
No-Ails, he's a classless landlubber!
[incomprehensible, laughing]
No-Ails! I can't see! Swim for your life, mateys!
Swim for your life!
No, the SS Eagle! It's coming down!
Felipe! We lost Felipe! His head is gone!
The poor man's head! Felipe, give your life!
Dammit, No-Ails!
What ails you, No-Ails!?
I can't see!
[indistinct yelling]
I got one, I got one for you, Privateer Larry! Oh, thank you! Yes, you'll drown out here!
We can swim to land! Swim to land!
I'd blunder vast for a barrel of rum!
[Evil Laughter]
Shit!
He did it! He just did it!
He sunk our ship! He sunk the Eagle!
The Eagle! [heavy breathing]
He got all the booty!
He got the- He wanted to finger our booty!
Oh WHAAAAAAT!?
He WHAT!?
He came to finger the booty!
No-Ails, that's savage!
No video games on your ship! [laughs]
Shut the fuck up, Dad!
Shut up! I can game in a ship if I wanna game!
I'm gaming!
If I wanna game in a ship, I'm gonna game in a ship!
Hey bastard!
[more evil laughter]
[Matey Call]
The Eagle! IT IS DONE!
Privateer Larry!
Find a new ship, Captain Moby Small Dick!
Couldn't find a new ship, 'cause I don't have a good job!
Argh, we have to rebuild.
Ugh, we were beat by the Big White Dick. But, we will get back.
I knew he'd find us, it was only a matter of time.
We must bury Felipe with the ship. My God.
Just throw him in the bowel.
In the bowel. Felipe...
The man had Spider-Man as a leg.
Because the cross thing.
Yes, I shall bury him with my sword.
Okay. I'll need that back from him later.
Damn No-Ails. Should we give him a life preserver just in case he comes back?
Uh, he's missing his head.
Then there's no coming back.
Look on the bright side, I have two eyes now.
You got your hand back.
And my hand.
And I've become Scottish.
And you suck at it. [laughing]
RiDGiD STUDiOS 2016