Now, in essence, what I was doing at the time was I was focusing on this concept
of eulogy virtues versus C.V. virtues. So eulogy virtues are more subtle:
they are things like I want to give back, this is what I want people to say at my
eulogy. C.V. virtues are more self focused which is like: 'I want to achieve this,
I want to do this, I want to do that etc. etc. Now for some of you, your C.V.
virtues actually might be quite strong. The way to balance these two is
to consider: what do I want to be remembered for, my legacy, but how is my
C.V. actually going to support me to build a legacy? Traditionally, C.V.
virtues tend to be quite self-focussed and eulogy virtues tend to be quite
"other-ish". So my first recommendation for you today to become a fully Expressed
leader is to live for your eulogy not your C.V. What I worked out is that this
imminence of death thing and this facing death was actually the most powerful way
to reinvent your life, more aligned with who you are. Now this is a quote from the
study by Bronnie Ware called The Top Regrets of the Dying. Have you guys
heard about this amazing study? It went viral about 8 to 10 years ago. So what
she did, she's a palliative care nurse in Australia, she's actually just based down
in Byron or the Gold Coast or somewhere like that, and she basically
asked people who were near the end of their lives at the home: What were the
top things that they regretted? There was five of them, but this one here is the
number one regret that most people have. "I wish I had the courage to live a life
true to myself versus that of which others
expected of me." So let me ask you right now: Are you living a life true to
yourself? I just saw a whole bunch of people shake their head, that's awesome.
Now Bronnie is quoted as saying, "when people realise that their life is almost
over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone
unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even half of their dreams and
had to die knowing that this was due to the choices that they made. Health brings
a freedom very few realized until you no longer have it. I wrote two versions of
my eulogy. The first version was if I keep going today in this current way,
what's my eulogy going to be? Then I wrote another version
which was my from the heart, verbo lay aspirational version which was really
centered on if I wasn't afraid, what would I want to create? And I know
there's many of you in this room that have read my book so you've read
what that actually is. Now the thing is, is that people realize too close to
their death what they're [not going to miss you know what they're] missing out
on. So here's another little hack that I recommend for you: focus on
your C.V. virtues, look after your C.V., but start to consider how that is in context
of your eulogy and whether that is really focussed on you being courageous
to live a life true to you. The final thing to do is to create what I like to
call a "hell no basket". After you've written you two eulogies, I want
you to go and burn the crap out of the one that is not relevant for you anymore.
Then I want you to start to take incremental
baby step actions. Baby baby baby steps it might mean volunteering at a soup
kitchen, might be spending more time with your kids, it might be doing a new course
or a degree, or having a conversation with someone or sending an email much
like what I did here.