(church organ music)
- Well, it's like this...
Forgive me, but I have never watched Game of Thrones.
- [Voice From Speaker] Nice, I thought I was the only one.
♫ On an innocent trip, how can one ruin so much
♫ A belief in a soul, in a beauty, or in a touch
♫ It's like a three-legged dog in search of a crutch
- Okay, so how's this work?
Just like a normal confession booth thing, but for anyone?
- [Rick] Yes, exactly.
It always helps to say your problems out loud.
Whatever you might need to get off your chest.
Kind of a social experiment, I suppose you'd say.
- And you're sure this is completely anonymous?
- Couldn't pick you out of a lineup if we tried.
- [Blonde Girl] Okay, and what's this thing here, a printer?
- [Rick] That comes later. Wait for it.
So, yeah, whenever you're ready.
No pressure.
- Yeah, exactly.
I don't know. Let's see.
- Well, it's like this...
I genuinely enjoy the music of Limp Bizkit.
Oh, man, now it's out there.
- I talk during movies,
'cause I know people are too polite to shush me,
so I basically just give'er.
- I hate all of the music you're supposed to like.
I hate Bowie, and I hate Prince, and I hate Dylan,
and I really hate Neil Young.
And I feel like I'm the only one.
- I only pee...
In the shower.
Oh, god.
- And Star Wars too! Fuck Star Wars!
God, I'm a monster!
- What if I wanna confess something kinda personal?
Is that cool?
- [Rick] Yeah, whatever you need to say.
- All right, challenge accepted.
I sexually fantasize about my best friend.
Am I doing this right?
- I love my job,
but I feel like I'm an imposter all the time,
like I'm gonna get fired when someone belatedly realizes
that I was hired by mistake or something.
- I almost literally imagine us having sex,
and it's extremely unpleasant.
And I hate that I'm secretly just a freak, you know?
- Like, all Limp Bizkit.
Even "Results May Vary."
Especially "Results May Vary."
- My parents don't know what I do for a living,
mostly because they're assholes,
and if they did, they'd disown me.
Literally disown me. Like, with paperwork.
- People think I'm this busy professional,
but I probably do like two hours of actual work a day.
- Okay, let's see.
Everyone else just seems so happy,
and I feel like I completely don't belong here,
and everyone is just waiting for me to die
so they can get back to normal.
- My friend forced me to do this
because I never talk about my feelings, so...
Yep.
- Oh, yeah, and I'm 32,
but I've never so much as kissed anyone,
let alone had sex, and I'm fine with that,
but I'm also really not fine with that.
- I don't know, I think introspection
just makes people less happy.
And there are legitimately situations where people
just need to suck it up and get on with things,
because we're all tougher than we give ourselves credit for.
But of course no one wants to hear that,
so I just kind of keep it to myself.
Oh wait. There's a confession!
- Even at this age, my parents can just
tear my self-esteem right the fuck down.
I ask myself, why do I still care what they think?
And I think it's just that if I stopped caring,
it would be the end of the relationship,
and as shitty as things are, the only thing shittier
would be to not have your parents in your life.
Oh, I'm fucking never having kids, did I mention that?
- [Anonymous Confessor] It's not that I'm trapped
in the wrong body.
It's that I don't really care either way, you know?
I'd be happy as either gender, but, like,
what is that, you know?
- Is that normal?
- It's not, is it? And...
I'm always secretly wondering if
anyone actually likes each other.
You see people talking, and you assume friendship,
but maybe society is just an act?
Because if it's not, it means I'm
as big of a loser as I think I am.
- When my friend talks about his depression,
I'm sometimes just thinking, "yeah, whatever, dude,"
but I don't actually say it, because that wouldn't be PC.
Obviously, I love him, that's why I care to begin with.
I just get so tired of waiting
for him to get back to normal.
I need someone to listen to my problems too, you know?
I get depressed too, but oh no,
he's always taking care of himself, because...
And this is actually pretty fucking sinister
now that I say it out loud.
- And what else here?
I'm a feminist, yet I like fake boobs, and...
- It's been three dates and I still haven't told her.
- That I just can't handle illness.
- And I make sexist jokes,
but it's just to impress my friends.
- And I hate my friends.
- And I tell people I have bitch face,
but I'm actually a bitch.
Like I actually am visibly disgusted
with most people I meet.
- So yeah.
I suck, basically.
- And in a way that other people don't.
And that's it. That's everything.
Thanks for listening.
- [Rick] No problem.
And before you go, that's for you there.
- What is this?
- [Rick] That's a summary of what you talked about,
and the numbers are how many other visitors to the booth
have confessed the exact same thing.
- Oh wow, really?
- That many? Huh.
- Seriously?
- God, you know, it's like...
Is it the actual issue that's bothering you,
or that you think it's only you, you know?
♫ On an innocent trip, how can one ruin so much
♫ A belief in a soul, in a beauty, or in a touch
♫ It's like a three-legged dog in search of a crutch
♫ Dissecting in past all the motives of such
♫ She once loved this person in a trial out of sight
♫ Disposing of their present situation
♫ It felt right
- Hey, how's it going?
Recognize my voice?
That's right, I'm the guy who plays
Jeremy on peopleWatching.
If you wanna visit facebook.com/subnormality,
you'll find all kinds of new goodies about the show,
and the web comic "Subnormality."
See you there.
(wink sound)