Behold, the Star family 'stache stash.
Whoa. Whoa. Wow whee waha.
Countless generations of Star men, women and beyond
all have their mustaches immortalized here.
How do you pronounce this?
Cousin Fred.
Oh, makes sense.
All of these mustaches are yours to wear.
Wow.
Even that one?
[thundering]
No. That mustache-
That mustache must never be worn.
W-W-What do you mean?
Oh, nothing.
Well, I got to go groom my mustache for ten hours,
leaving you completely unsupervised.
Have fun. Whoo-hoo-hoo hoo-hoo.
[laughing]
Showtime. Hmm? Radical. Bodacious.
What else can these puppies do?
Ooh, the Viking.
[grunting]
Leedle-leedle-leedle-leedle!
The Handle Bar.
The Surrealist.
The Roosevelt. [grunting]
Ooh. Ah.
Big Stick.
[grunting]
Ow. [laughing]
Kids and their mustaches.
This 'stache, that 'stache, these, those, and dad's 'stache,
and that 'stache, moose 'stache, big 'stache, small 'stache,
all 'stache.
[panting]
Well, that's all of 'em.
Hmm?
Or almost all of them.
What's the worst that could happen?
[shattering]
[groaning]
[laughing]
Why are you laughing like that?
No reason.
And why are you dressed like an old-timey villain?
No reason.
And what are you doing with that rope?
What the?
[laughing]
[grunting]
Really? Tying people to railroad tracks?
Hasn't that been done before?
Oh, it's been done before. Done to death!
[laughing]
[birds chirping]
Hey, everybody.
If you're just joining us, my guest today is Rube Goldfish.
Hey, y'all.
So, Rube, what are your thoughts on trains?
Trains? Oh, boy, I love trains.
In fact, I wish I was on a train right now.
Ooh, how about under one?
Under a train? Now why would I-
[screaming]
[grunting]
Whee!
[laughing]
[train honking] Huh?
Oh, boy, that's a train horn if I ever heard one.
[laughing]
Next up on the program a magic trick.
- Yeah! - Whoo!
To perform said trick, I'll need four victims,
I mean... volunteers.
[cheering]
Excellent. Ready folks?
[cheering]
Abracadabra. [laughing]
[ticking]
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a train to catch.
[laughing]
Are you alls excited as I am about the train?
No.
Looking good.
Oops, just one last tweet.
Perfection.
Now to check in on Patrick.
Ooh. Heavens. The mustache signal.
Then there must be mustache related danger.
[dinging] Ooh.
Trouble on the train tracks?
Flight 'stache activate.
[panting] Huh?
[beeping]
Victims.
My family and friends.
Don't worry, I'm going to stop that train before it gets here.
That's great, Dad, but maybe you could pull us
off the tracks first, you know, just in case.
I would, but that would strip
this story of any sense of suspense or danger.