- Well now it's time for tonight's #Hashtag Wars
(audience cheers)
(Ding)
- [Chris Hardwick] Morgan Murphy
- My childhood back.
- [Chris] Points!
(Ding)
- [Chris] Tom
- Bing Crosby's fist
- [Chris] Poi..
(Ding)
Is it going to fill your stocking?
(laughs) Points
Morgan Murphy
- Tinder without tigers.
- [Chris] Points!
(Ding)
Dave
- Crime solving chimp.
- [Chris] Points.
(Ding)
Morgan
- Real human emotions
- [Chris] Points
(Ding)
Tom
- Trains, hobos, rape kit.
- [Chris] Points
(Ding)
Dave
- Resuscitate the clown.
(Laughing)
Ding
- [Chris] Points. Morgan.
- Good personality vibrator.
- [Chris] Points!
(Ding)
Dave Hill
- Destroy the evidence.
(Buzzer)
- [Chris] Points!
(Ding)
- [Chris] Tom Rhodes.
- How many skittles can each nostril hold?
- [Chris] Yes, points!
The answer is seven.
(Ding)
Yes, Kamau.
- Finding albums that sync up to The Wizard of Oz.
- [Chris] Yes, points.
(Ding)
Yes, Kamau.
- March gladness.
- [Chris] Oh, points.
(Ding)
Greg Proops!
- A hundred yard dab.
- [Chris] Yes, points.
(Ding)
Tom Rhodes.
- Hide and go, oh look, Doritos.
- [Chris] Yes, points.
(Ding)
Greg Proops
- Waking up with dicks drawn on your face.
- [Chris] Points.
(Ding)
Tom
- Remembering your password.
- [Chris] Points.
(Ding)
Greg
- The bong jump.
(Buzzer)
- [Chris] Yeah, points!
- One inch nails
- [Chris Hardwick] Yes, points.
(Ding)
Jon Gabrus
- Ice tea with lemon.
- [Chris] Yeah.
(Ding)
Matt
- Taylor Slow
- [Chris] Points.
(Ding)
Arden
- Public frenemies.
- [Chris] Yes, points.
(Ding)
Matt
- The Heavy Petting Pistols
starring Johnny Fresh and Syd Vivacious.
- [Chris] Yes!
(Ding)
I'm going to give you 200 points for that.
Jon Gabus
- Nurse Dre.
- [Chris] Yes, points.
(Ding)
Matt
- Daft Monk
- [Chris] Points.
(Ding)
Arden
- Sage Against the Machine.
- [Chris] Yes, points.
- I got asked to play for an adult softball league
and I said nah.
- [Chris] Points.
(Ding)
Andrew
- Just cleaned out this candle emporium
of all they diptyques, son.
- Points.
(Ding)
Yes, Brent.
- Yo, I used
(audience laughter)
- You guys know I have good ones.
- Yo, I used to bang like the hottest hostess
at that Olive Garden in Queens.
- [Chris] Yeah, points.
(Ding)
Chris
- Go, Chris.
- I'm sorry, we're out of time.
I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding!
I'm kidding
- I ate one and a half sandwiches for lunch the other day
because I had a small breakfast.
- [Chris] Points.
(Ding)
Andrew
- Yeah, you know, gluten's allergic to me.
- [Chris] Points.
(Ding)
Brent
- Yo I got like all those like Emmy Rossum
movies on Blu Ray.
- I don't think anyone understand what your
- [Brent] I'm not good at Jay Z.
I'm not good at Jay Z.
- Okay points.
(Ding)
Andrew
- You know I got that Applecare, son.
(laughter)
That's me, doing Brent, doing Jay Z.
- [Chris] Points. D'Elia.
(Ding)
D'Elia
- Yeah the other day I woke up and got in my car
drove like a regular person to Walgreens
and at Walgreens I picked up some Dayquil
then I got back in my regular car
and drove all the way home,
hopped into bed and took Dayquil.
Did I mention I have a cold?
(Buzzer)
- That was a
- [Brent] Yo, this sucks. That was meant for you.
This whole thing was meant for him.
That was totally written for Chris
- [Chris] That was the most convincing
John Travolta, sir.