At first blush, it seems to be what mainstream scientists refer to as "totally made up,"
but it's true: when at all possible, delivery drivers for the United Parcel Service, better
known as UPS, won't make left turns.
"But why?" you might ask.
And if you did ask, it would be a good question.
Is it out of fear?
Some leftover superstition from days long passed?
A deep respect for folks like Derek Zoolander?
"I'm not an ambi-turner.
It's a problem I've had since I was a baby.
I can't turn left."
Well, prepare to be flabbergasted and get ready to have your mind blown, because it
turns out that the reasoning is actually grounded in genuine logic, reason and science.
It probably won't surprise you to learn that one of the largest, most financially successful
delivery companies on the planet makes a decent amount of its decisions based on what will
make them the most money.
What might shock you, though, is how much money they're estimated to save simply by
telling their drivers not to hang a louie.
According to CNN, UPS saves an estimated 10 million gallons of fuel every year just by
eliminating left turns.
With diesel running, on average, around three dollars per gallon, that's a $30 million annual
savings.
They also shave miles off of every route, allowing for more packages to be delivered,
saving money on man hours and, in the long run, maintenance.
The grand total?
By their own estimates, they save somewhere in the $300-400 million per year by finding
the most efficient delivery routes, routes designed around never making a left turn.
Yes, it sounds impossible.
But the folks at Mythbusters actually tested the theory that skipping right turns could
save on fuel and found that, in a single route, a truck making exclusively right turns used
around a third less fuel than one that sat waiting to take a left!
So should we all be avoiding left turns in our daily lives in an attempt to see what
brown can do for us?
Funny you should mention it, but as a matter of fact, yeah, we probably should.
See, as it turns out, left turns are kind of the bane of modern traffic, at least in
parts of the world where people drive on the right side of the road, and that's about 65
percent of all drivers worldwide, so it's a pretty big deal.
Think about your daily commute: turning right is quicker, since you can generally do it
at a red light.
You're not stuck in the middle of the intersection waiting for oncoming traffic to pass, running
your engine pointlessly as the sound of your turn signal ticks away your precious moments
on this mortal plane.
There's also the matter of safety.
In 2014, the Washington Post reported that more than 50 percent of crossing-path collisions
involved a left turn, while less than six percent involved hanging a right.
More shockingly, over a third of fatal motorcycle accidents were due to an automobile unexpectedly
making a left hand turn in front of the biker.
Through the use of routing software programmed to eliminate as many left turns from their
drivers' daily grinds as possible, UPS minimizes the risk of their employees causing congestion
or being involved in potentially deadly accidents.
And both of those are even bigger wins than saving a few hundred million dollars.
While the idea of nearly eliminating an entire direction of travel from a delivery driver's
arsenal might seem novel, it's actually a method that the company has been using for
decades.
CNN reported that UPS has been utilizing a right-turn-heavy system since the 1970s.
Since then, they've developed a routing optimization software program called ORION that, by comparison
makes your GPS look like an old timey farmhand giving you directions.
ORION, which took more than a decade to develop, takes insane amounts of data that most mapping
software wouldn't consider, making thousands of calculations per minute to create the most
efficient multi-point route possible.
The results?
According to UPS, millions of dollars saved, and a reduction of 100,000 metric tons of
carbon emissions per year, leading to cleaner air for everyone.
Strange, but true.
"I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!"
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