Let me ask you this when you were an intern,
and you, I know that you were very young
when you intern for us,
you were like 19 years old.
I think I was 19.
I was Yeah.
You at the time,
must have been interested in comedy.
Sometimes, it's hard for interns because there's they're
told you got to be professional,
you can't approach right famous people were you given
that whole spiel.
They gave me the
whole speech at the beginning.
Don't talk to famous people don't talk
to the guests.
But then Jonathan Katz came on the show one time
and he was from, from Dr. Katz, professional therapists,
Hilarious, hilarious comedian,
one of them one of the great TV series
of comedy nerds like me,
and he lived in worked in Boston,
and my brother Joe,
who had interned on your show as well,
was living in Boston was an
aspiring comedy writer.
And so I was,
I was like,
I'm going to introduce Jonathan Kartz
to my brother Joe.
So I, I completely cross the line.
And I just follow, I got out of the control room,
I spot him after he walks offstage,
and I follow Jonathan Katz.
And I'm like,
I'm gonna talk to Jonathan Katz.
He makes a right turn into the bathroom,
and I had that fork in the road moment
where you go,
should I follow a celebrity comedian
into a public restroom?
And the answer,
Conan is yes,
I went.
I waited until he was washing his hands.
And then I said, Jonathan,
I'm Mike Birbiglia.
I work on the show.
I didn't say I was an intern.
But I was wearing a nice shirt.
And I and I looked 50 when I was 20.
So I had a high, high hairline.
my hairline was this since I was 13, basically.
And you could have been a producer for all he knew
I couldn't produce right.
I go, my brother Joe is aspiring copywriter in Boston.
Can I put him in touch with you?
He goes, Oh, yeah,
he's soft spoken guy.
He goes, Oh, yeah, absolutely.
He goes, let me just write my number down.
Do you have anything that I could write it in?
And I was just like, Oh, well,
these paper towels.
I think I could,
we could write it down.
And so then I,
we I took out a paper towel.
He wrote down his number,
put him in touch with Joe
and Joe worked for him for several days.
And yeah, so I overstepped and actually,
if I, don't know if this is inappropriate.
I know this is your talk show.
I don't know if this is the time
or the place.
But I was.
My brother Joe is trying
to figure out his life right now.
He was an intern for you.
20 years ago,
and I was wondering if you would take a meeting with him.
If I could give him your number.
Oh, it's on the line to ask me
on the air.
It's
No, wait.
Joe's here now.
No,
That's my brother. Joe.
This is inappropriate.
It's one thing for you and I to talk
off the air.
And for me to give you my number
to have Joe appear on the show
is way over the line.
Joe, it's over the line.
This is wrong.
I'll show myself out.
No, no, Joe, please stay.
How are you? Joe?
Where are you?
Am well, I'm in Rhode Island.
so my home.
You both are in Rhode Island.
Yes.
Okay.
We're and this is near Providence?
Yes.
Right outside of Providence.
Okay.
big snowstorm coming down.
It's coming down right now.
Okay.
Let me tell you my Rhode Island story.
Okay, now that you're here, and yes,
I'll do anything I can for you.
But I'll say to you,
that is this though, Joe.
I will help you
in any way I can.
Your brother has four cameras.
I have one.
I think you're talking
to the wrong guy.
You ready for my Rhode Island story,
Please.
My grandfather had a little cottage down
in Rhode Island.
We didn't have a summer place when I
was growing up.
So we would go and we visit my grandfather
in the town.
There's a fancy
town nearby called Watch Hill,
there was this big mansion
on a hill.
So many, many years later,
I'm walking through that town.
And I buy there's a nice painting of
that mansion on a hill
that looks out at the sea
and Rhode Island.
I buy it. And I'm like, this is cool.
This reminds me of my youth.
My grandfather hanging out with my brothers
and sisters going to the State Beach.
This is really cool.
And I put it up
on my wall.
Lo and behold about five years after I do that,
Taylor Swift buys that mansion,
completely re does it
and it becomes Taylor Swift's like Graceland.
Literally, there's like musical notes
on the gate.
it's this big thing.
People hang around out front to try
and see Taylor Swift.
I have that painting.
And I put it
in our guest room here at my house
in Los Angeles.
So these people come to stay with me
and I'm showing in the guest room
and they say what's that a painting of
and I went,
that's my painting
of Taylor Swift's
and everyone's like,
You're a fucking freak.
You're a creep.
And I didn't explain that.
I had it long.
It's like,
I had a painting made
of her home.
And I'm gonna marry her someday
because I love taking
swift and now the Mr. Swift.
That's my story.
I just want you
to appreciate my Rhode Island roots.
Joe had one story that I thought was really funny
about being an intern.
I go, Do you have a memory of being
on the show?
Yeah, Joe You were an intern for us?
What do you remember?
I was and one of the the honors
of being the intern was that he would
once a week it will be your job to order
and dinner for Conan ,Andy Richter
and the writers throw their, write their initials.
Joe you know this is Conan.
Right?
I know that.
It's been a long time since Joe,
A, work for me
or B, watch the show.
So he right now thinks he thinks he's talking
to a very pleasant middle aged Irish woman.
So the question was when I was
ordering the dinner, because I'm,
I'm 20 years old at the time,
and you're stressful working television
for the first time like that.
And it's, the question was,
can I put Conan CEO initials
on his dinner?
Or would someone trying to kill him?
Perhaps?
Guess what, guess what?
There were people out
to kill me then.
And actually, they weren't on the same network as me.
So
one of them was one of them was Jay Leno.
I know which;
one it is with that?
What's funny, Conan eating?
Wait, can I just borrow it for a second?
There you go.
Take care of that little now