Finding a sleep position that allows both you and your partner to feel maximum levels
of comfort throughout the night is important. However, what you may not realize is that
the position in which you and your significant other sleep with each other actually says
a lot about your relationship.
The spooning sleep position is pretty self-explanatory and probably one of the more well known sleeping
positions. Essentially, two sleeping partners become like a pair of spoons nestled together,
with one partner pressing the front of their body against the back of their partner's body.
In this aptly-titled sleeping position, the "big spoon," or the person on the outside
of the spooning situation, curls their body to match the form of their partner, who is
affectionately known as the "little spoon" in this position.
"Will you tell me the answer to this question? Do you wanna be the big spoon, or the little
spoon?"
If you and your partner are spooning sleepers, you likely enjoy high levels of both intimacy
and trust in your relationship. As body language expert Patti Wood explained:
"[Spooning is] a very vulnerable position that...says, 'I trust you.'"
"We were spooning with our clothes on which is, like, ten times worse."
According to a sleep and wellness expert with Mattress Firm, spooning is more common in
newer relationships, saying,
"[People] tend to gain more independence the longer they stay in a relationship."
So before you develop the desire to drift away from your sleeping partner, maybe squeeze
a little tighter next time you're the big spoon.
In the "Chasing Spoon" position, the two sleeping partners are technically in the classic spooning
form. However, the little spoon has pushed themselves to the edge of their side of the
bed, and the big spoon, a.k.a. the chasing spoon, has, well, chased them there, pressing
their body against that of the little spoon's.
If you see that your little spoon partner is running away from you in bed, it's probably
time to have a serious conversation. As sleep psychologist Hope Bastine explained about
the sleep position:
"The chaser perhaps senses something is amiss but is too nervous to verbally ask what's
going on. They are non-verbally making emotional contact."
Couples who partake in the "Pillow Talk" sleep position face each other while they're asleep,
usually with only a small amount of space between them, which creates ample opportunity
for ever-important communication. However, despite being one of the more well known sleeping
positions, it's also one of the rarest positions to see among sleeping partners. According
to psychologist Richard Wiseman, only four percent of couples are Pillow Talk sleepers.
According to author Evany Thomas, snoozing with your partner in the Pillow Talk position
is a great starting point if you're hoping to grow closer and strengthen your relationship.
As the name of the position implies, Pillow Talk encourages a bit of bedtime chit chat
with your partner, which creates opportunity for the two of you to voice your thoughts
and talk about your respective days while feeling both physically and emotionally close
with your lover.
"Boop, boop, boop!"
If you usually forego using your pillow in favor of resting your head on your partner,
you're basically the human version of the heart-eyes emoji. In other words, sleeping
on your partner rather than besides them generally means you've either got a big, fat crush or
you're head-over-heels in love.
According to relationship expert Corrine Sweet, this position, called "The Nuzzle," is most
often seen during the early stages of relationships, when a couple is still basking in the glow
of their honeymoon period. Sweet also revealed that ex-lovers who are rekindling a romance
may find themselves falling asleep in a nuzzling sleep position. Maybe they've grown accustomed
to it, or perhaps they missed each other more than they let on.
If you and your partner are nighttime nuzzlers, it's safe to say there's not a lack of romance
in your relationship.
Look out - being too wrapped up in your partner each night might be a sign that the two of
you are heading down a dangerous highway of codependency. Sleeping while getting up close
and personal with your partner isn't always a bad thing, as long as you and your partner
eventually unravel yourselves.
Referred to by relationship experts as both the "Unraveling Knot" and "Lovers' Knot,"
this sleep position is a win-win for both parties. As Corrine Sweet explained,
"[This position is] a compromise between intimacy and independence, allowing for the best of
both worlds."
Couples who sleep in the Lovers' Knot position fall asleep while wrapped in each other's
arms, however, as the night progresses, they gradually untangle themselves, usually ending
up in a far less intertwined position. According to Sweet's research, the Lovers' Knot signifies
a much stronger bond than The Tangle alone, however, only 8 percent of couples actually
prefer this two-step position.
But what if you never unravel? This position, called "The Tangle," may seem like an indicator
of passion, but, according to psychotherapist Elizabeth Flynn Campbell, it's usually a sign
of codependency.
Of course, it's normal for partners to depend on each other for certain things, but becoming
too dependent on your partner will only hurt one or both of you in the long run, especially
if the relationship comes to an end.
Have your friends ever described you and your partner as being inseparable? If so, then
there's a good chance that your favorite sleep position is the "Leg Hug."
As you've likely gathered from its name, couples who opt for the Leg Hug position literally
lock their legs together while they sleep, kind of like how sleeping otters hold hands
so they don't float away from one another. According to body language expert Patti Wood,
locking legs with your partner during the night means that the two of you are an undisputed
team. Here's how Wood explained it:
"[Locking legs] means your lives are intertwined, that you function as a pair...You probably
finish each other's sentences and take care of each other."
And hey, if you are a couple that likes to lock legs, maybe it also means you both have
a subconscious desire to get in a ring and get to wrestling.
If you and your partner aren't big on cuddling, it doesn't mean your relationship is doomed
or anything less than healthy and loving. There are plenty of reasons why sleeping partners
might prefer sleep positions that allow for generous amounts of personal space. Perhaps
you're an active sleeper and want to avoid sucker punching your partner while they doze.
Maybe your body turns into a human furnace at night, or maybe you just have a strong
appreciation for wide, open spaces. Whatever your reason may be, the only thing that matters
is that you and your partner are both comfortable and well-rested in the morning.
If hardcore cuddling isn't your thing, it's possible that you still like to maintain physical
contact with your partner by holding their hand. According to body language expert Maryann
Karinch, this position is for couples who share a strong bond with each other, but don't
feel the need to cling on to one another throughout the night.
Loving someone means loving them for the imperfect human being they are. Every person has their
bad habits and quirks, and whether they intend to or not, they'll likely bring many of these
little annoyances into a relationship.
"What is that?"
"This is my box. This is where I keep all my junk I don't wanna deal with."
"That looks like a lot of bills, it's mostly bills."
"Like I said, it's junk."
Having your covers stolen from you in the middle of the night is definitely one such
annoyance, but blanket hogging is probably not a deal breaker for most couples. However,
if your partner consistently hogs the majority of your bed by assuming the starfish sleep
position and sprawling across the mattress, it could mean that they're just selfish.
So if your partner is consistently leaving you fighting to not fall onto the floor, you
might want to reevaluate your relationship.
There are few things more exciting than the butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling that comes
with the beginning of a new relationship. In the "honeymoon period," your partner feels
like a drug, and you simply can't get enough. The two of you are attached at the hip in
almost every sense of the phrase, clinging on to each other both emotionally and physically,
even while drifting off to dreamland.
However, the honeymoon period doesn't last forever. As you and your partner grow to feel
more comfortable and secure in your relationship, you'll likely realize that you've both gradually
come to value personal space and independence over constantly being attached to one another.
According to relationship psychologist Corrine Sweet, the sleep position that best represents
this dynamic is sleeping back-to-back, while also leaving a bit of space between you and
your partner. Called "The Liberty Lovers," Sweet revealed that this position is most
often seen in secure and connected couples, so even if you've moved out of the spooning
phase don't worry, there's still plenty of love.
The "Cliffhanger" isn't just a classic Sylvestor Stallone flick - it's also a sleep position
in which two partners face away from each other while sleeping on completely opposite
sides of the bed, may seem like the go-to position for couples who just had a big, blowout
fight. However, the Cliffhanger is basically just the Liberty Lovers' older, wiser, and
more confident sister.
According to Evany Thomas, couples who opt for the Cliffhanger position generally aren't
upset with each other, and they usually aren't in danger of splitting up. Instead, they likely
feel incredibly secure in their relationship, and, as a result, they don't feel threatened
by their partner's need for personal space. Because, hey, they need it, too!
Sleeping in separate beds likely sounds like the death sentence for a relationship, but
that's not always the case, and it's not as rare as you might think. According to the
National Sleep Foundation, nearly one in four Americans sleep away from their partners in
separate beds or bedrooms.
Wellness consultant Hilary Thompson says that the main concern with couples who sleep separately
is that they'll adopt that separateness into other aspects of their relationship and that
they're missing out on precious bonding time.
However, if your partner's bedtime behavior prevents you from getting a good night's rest,
sleeping in another room is likely a good move for your relationship. Tamara Green,
a New York-based couples therapist, explained that she's witnessed this type of sleeping
arrangement vastly improve the connection between partners, saying,
"They get enough rest and they feel like they are able to hear each other out and get their
needs met."
However, couples who opt for this sleep position arrangement should schedule regular date nights
and set time for intimacy.
"How about this? How about you leave work early I will take a late lunch, the house
will be empty and there will be no kids to worry about."
"Oh yeah?" "Yeah."
Perhaps the strangest of all the various ways you can snooze with your partner is a "Top-to-Tail"
sleep position. As you've likely gathered from its name, this unfavorable position happens
when one partner sleeps with their head at the foot of the bed, while the other sleeps
with their head at the headboard, meaning each partner is sleeping next to the other
person's feet.
According to intimacy expert Tracey Cox, sleeping with your partner in the Top-to-Tail position
is pretty much the worst rest-related choice you could make for your relationship, and
is usually indicative of a couple who is fighting or about to end it. Understandably, sleeping
with a face full of your partner's feet doesn't exactly inspire feelings of romance and closeness.
That is, of course, unless feet are something you enjoy. Hey, we're not judging!
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