- Sure thing!
Those will be right out.
- Baby, you okay?
- Yeah, it's just one of those days
where nothing went right at work.
First, my alarm didn't go off,
so I was late to work, and then--
then I found out that Julie's leaving the company,
and she's like my only friend there, and...
[sobbing]
- Oh, baby, I'm sorry.
April: No, it's okay, it's okay.
I hate that I'm ruining our date night, but...
but...
[exaggerated sobbing]
- Ma'am!
Ma'am, are you okay?
- She just had a rough day at work.
- I was talking to her.
- Uh, no, no.
It's not me.
I didn't make her cry.
- Sure!
You are beautiful.
You are enough.
Okay?
[audience laughter]
- Hey, baby, have some of your salad.
It'll make you feel better.
[depressed mumbling]
[audience laughter]
[sobbing resumes]
- Oh.
She's had a rough day at work.
It's not about me!
[yelling] It's terrible what happened to you at work.
That's awful, I understand!
- Miss, do you need me to remove this horrible man?
- Look, I know how this looks,
but it's not about me.
I didn't make her cry!
- Excuse me,
I was talking to the crying woman.
- Look at her, she's fine!
[sobbing continues]
- Oh, you poor thing!
Whoops.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
[sobbing continues]
- Did you see that?
- See-- See what?
- Never mind.
Listen, I got an idea.
How 'bout you stop crying about work?
[sobbing intensifies]
All right, listen.
You wanna hear a joke?
Let me tell you a joke.
All right, it's two pelicans,
a girlfriend pelican, boyfriend pelican.
And the girlfriend pelican asks the boyfriend pelican,
"Am I pretty or am I ugly?"
And the boyfriend pelican goes, "You're both."
And the girlfriend pelican says, "What does that mean?"
He goes, "You pretty ugly!"
[audience laughter]
- How dare you talk to her like that!
- I'm not making her cr-
Oh!
- I heard what I heard.
- That doesn't mean
you can dump spaghetti on my head!
- Listen, don't listen to him!
You are beautiful.
- It was a joke!
[sobbing continues]
Baby, we need to get out of here.
This restaurant has turned on me.
April: No can, can you please just stay and enjoy dinner
so I can forget about today?
- Okay, fine.
[splat]
Look, I just want tonight to be special.
Listen, okay.
- Excuse me,
I hear there was a little mishap at this table?
- Yeah, I told a bad joke
about an ugly pelican girlfriend--
[Tori gasping]
No, no, no, no.
I didn't say she's an ugly pelican!
- [impassioned] Sir, this is a beautiful human woman,
all right?
The only bird I see at this table
is this 'fowl' man!
- No, I just--
[thud]
Ow, ow, ow!
Ow!
Are you--?
All right!
That's enough!
That's it!
Come on!
My girlfriend had a horrible day at work,
and that's why she's crying!
- Ma'am, is this true?
- [sadly] Yes, it's true.
- All right.
This has been a horrible misunderstanding.
Let's get you some free food.
Thank you very much.
[audience laughter]
- You know what?
I'm glad we got that cleared up.
It's crazy, 'cause tonight, I just--
April: Wh-wh-what is it?
- [grunt]
I love you,
and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Will you marry me?
- Is this real?
Is this real?!
[happy crying]
Jetta: Two extra hot bowls of soup on the house.
- I can't believe what you just said to me!
[happy sobbing]
- Get him!
[Jetta growling]
[fence clanging]
Soup the man!
Soup him!
[audience applause]
[sobbing and speaking indistinctly]
- She said thanks for watching Studio C.
- [crying] Be sure to like.
- And be sure to like.
- [sobbing] Share.
- Share.
- [sobbing] And subscribe.
- And subscribe.
[sobbing and speaking indistinctly]
And I think she meant to, you know,
comment below about your worst awkward moment on a date.
[sobbing uncontrollably]
- No.
[sobbing]