So, guys, tonight's the premiere of The Bachelor.
-(man whoops) -We all know I watch that.
It's season 9,000. And here to tell us about it
is the host, Chris Harrison.
-♪ ♪ -Yeah! -Yeah!
(cheering)
(cheering continues)
All right, bud. Thanks for coming, bud.
-Sure. Thanks for having me. -Uh, so, the show never ends,
-So, let's go over some things. -Yes.
Um, I love the show obviously,
and watch and talk about it all the time.
Uh, so, when you-- one of the contestants I saw is a virgin.
Now, how do we confirm that?
-(laughter) -Of do you guys...
Do we eyeball it? Is it... the honor...
is it the honor system?
Eyeball it?!
(laughter)
It is... there's an eyeball test.
-SPADE: Yeah. -Yeah. -(laughter)
You eyeball it. Um...
But is it, like, a hook thing that...
-Rigorous medical. -There is a medical?
Yeah, oh, yeah. And there's a virgin test.
-Is T.I. involved? -(laughter)
No, I really... in all seriousness,
I really think it is the honor system.
Yeah, I think so. I think there's only so much
-you can ask them. Yeah. -You got to trust. Right.
Well, you can tell when they start crying
when someone mentions sex-- like, that's what happened
in one... in season two, it was like, (crying).
Honestly, just have a conversation with them.
-You can tell pretty quick. -Yeah. -(laughter)
They give themselves up pretty fast.
Colton-- I believed him.
-Yeah. -I got to ask you, as a straight male,
I'm gonna ask you some questions from this perspective.
But, like, has there ever been a time on the show
where, like, say, one of the women
is trying to get with one of the bachelors,
and he's like, "No," and you're like, "You know...
I'm available."
-Uh... -(laughter)
SPADE: Well, that's another question.
-Do you... -Yeah.
-I'll soften it. -Thank you.
-Do you... -(laughter)
-Put it in terms I can answer? -Yes.
When... when they get, uh, let go,
-Right. -do you all have to stay in the same, like, mansion?
Or they have the time they have to stay
until the whole end of the whole show, right?
No, we actually do let them go.
-Oh, they go home. -Yeah, we let them go home.
Towards the end sometimes,
depending on where we are in the world
and how soon the show will be over, we'll hold them,
so they all don't go home at separate times
-so you can figure out who won. -Yeah, people love
-to figure that out. -Yeah, we try to...
we try to keep an ounce of suspense.
Um, but yeah, we... Early on, no.
-As soon as you're done, you go home. -SPADE: Right.
And while they're there, it's no phones.
You can't look out the windows. It's-it's everything.
-Right. No, you... -You get an hour in the yard.
-Yeah, I know. It's tough. -Good behavior.
They're good about it. But I always think you're...
You guys are very good about...
People don't figure it out.
In this day and age,
you think they would figure out everything.
I mean, as well as you can, yeah.
-In this age. You're trying... -Yeah. It's sort of the fun
of not knowing. I'd rather not know.
Uh, Hannah Banana Brown is on, who everyone loves.
-Yeah. -Uh, she was on The Bachelor,
and then she went on Dancing with the Stars,
which is sort of a dating show.
-Um... -It kind of is now.
-It's a dry humping show, if nothing else. -Yeah.
That place is like the Purge. They're all going at it.
But now, how did it come about she's on the new one?
Well, obviously, if you watched last season,
you know, she broke up with Peter.
He was heartbroken.
And there just was this undeniable chemistry
and this thing between them,
and you thought maybe this thing isn't over.
-So she came back... -SPADE: And they're both still single.
-And they're both still single. -SPADE: Yeah.
And, you know, she came back, and, obviously, you saw
that, you know, she gave him his wings back at first.
-SPADE: Yeah. -And it was just this sweet moment between them.
But it was that second conversation
when she came back and she was on the date that we all watched.
Um, that's what was amazing tonight.
And, you know, the mascara's running,
and there's just...
You can tell there's this thing between...
She looked like the Joker. It was a lot of makeup.
Very Joaquin Phoenix. And then she went off
about environment and... Yeah.
-Um... -(laughter)
-SPADE: Yeah. -No, but this-this...
I-I'm in such suspense 'cause I'm like, "Well..."
I mean, just let us know.
Are they gonna let her back in the house?
And then we'll edit it.
-O-Obviously... -(laughter)
Obviously, something's not done between them.
-Okay, good. -I mean, you saw in that conversation.
-It's not over. -I'm sure the other girls are stoked.
-Um... -HARRISON: Oh, yeah, they... Well, it was funny,
'cause, obviously, you saw in the episode
they were so excited. They're like, "Oh, it's Hannah!"
Like, a celebrity. Then they had this moment of realization
-like, "Oh, crap." -JOHNSON: The second time.
-SPADE: Yeah, it's competish. -Like, that's...
-"This isn't good for us." -SPADE: For sure.
That's like, you know, when-when, um...
-My cousin used to be on a TV show. -SPADE: Okay.
And, um... Wait-wait a second. We're getting to it.
So, when we... We used to go on auditions.
I used to have him come with me and sit in the room
because I was auditioning for lower level roles.
But when he walked in, you could see the other actors like,
"What the fuck is this guy doing here?"
SPADE: Yeah. He's cool?
Yeah. No, he was cool with it. He never understood why.
But let me ask you, um...
Like, if she...
This is like the poster out of my dentist office.
-Like, th-this is, uh... -She has great teeth, yeah.
She-she... When she comes back,
is she allowed to do everything all the other girls are doing
-and everything? -SPADE: What does that mean?
Whatever-- Yeah, she-- That's the beauty of the--
the beauty of the show-- there's no rules.
-There's no rules. So... -She can come back.
Uh, that-- I have a question, actually.
Since there's no rules, like, they kiss so much,
-even in the first episode. -Yes.
Has anyone ever got pregnant on the first episode?
-And if so... -You can't get pregnant by kissing.
-Just so you know. -(laughter)
I believe this needs a deeper conversation.
I'll take her backstage for that. Yeah, yeah.
It's on. That's all right.
We'll get in on that.
-When a-- when a man really... -I'm a virgin.
Yeah. When a bird and a bee...
When a man really loves a woman...
Yes. Give her the speech.
Well, also, quickly, the entrances are always fun,
when they walk in. You're keeping the limo business alive,
-I'll tell you that. -Yeah.
Uh, no one uses limos anymore.
But, uh, do you-- do-- I don't know if it's you or people--
Do they help them with ideas with the girls to be creative?
Yeah, when they first get to L.A., we'll start talking
about, "Hey, do you have any hobbies or anything you want
"to do? Is there a statement you'd like to make
or something cool you'd like to do?"
And then they start brainstorming
-and throwing stuff against the wall to see what sticks. -Yeah.
And they-- Do-do they ever say no to anything?
-It doesn't seem like it. -Apparently not.
-Yeah, I know. -(laughter)
The girl that wore an actual windmill.
-Yes. -And-and then there was the David Copperfield girl.
-Yes. -How she got herself in a suitcase that was this big.
-And it takes a minute to walk down the driveway. -Yeah.
I thought we might lose her, but I thought, "Eh."
-(laughter) -Lose her.
-You lost, like... -There's not a lot of oxygen in there.
-Yeah, that's true. -That was really real?
-That wasn't a magic trick? -She woke up in Cincinnati.
-Yeah. -Uh, no,
she was actually in that for a good five minutes.
-Oh, wow. -A very El Chapo move.
That windmill. How do you hear about the windmill?
They're like, "Chris, we've got a situation
"on the Goony Golf course.
They've been in there for two hours."
Do you guys-- because the insanity and the craziness--
do you guys ever have to stoke it or it just happens naturally?
-Believe it or not, you really don't have to. -Yeah.
-Uh... -All you need is no food, right?
-There's no food and... -I mean, look,
-if we closed the doors right now, -It's like Vegas.
-96% of the people in this room are nuts. -Yeah.
Yeah, it's true.
Let's-- Look at the polls!
-(cheering and applause) -Right. -Yeah.
-We don't have to create it. -Yeah. Yeah.
-All right, well... -This guy especially.
Look at that guy.
That's-- Anyone in our crowd.
-He's weird as hell. -Yeah.
We have an eclectic bunch.
Um, anyway, I have a lot more questions,
but please come back again in a-- in a couple weeks
and-and walk us through it again.