-You had all the great qualities that I-I want in a woman.
Funny thing was that I kept trying to find...
-Something wrong with her? -...something wrong with her.
♪♪
-So how did we meet? We actually met through a lie.
-Yeah, i-it was.
-My friend told me that you were interested in me.
-Mm-hmm. -And your associate
told you that I was interested in you,
and neither one was true. This is where you come in it
'cause you hit me up on Instagram.
-Right. When I hit you up,
I thought that you already knew who I was.
And, so, that's why I said, "Hey, you know, what's up?"
And you was kind of like, "Hi." You know, a little dry.
-How it was. -I thought you was trying to...
-Play hard to get? -...play hard to get.
-[ Laughing ] No. -Like, you know, you on a,
like, cat and mouse game. -No.
-So, I'm like, all right, I'll play with her.
That's what she want me to do. So that's what I really thought.
-No. I was in a different space at that time
because we met when, what, we were 38?
By that time, I had done a lot of dating.
You know, I was just a little more cautious.
You wanted to go on a, like, a real date,
and I said, in order --
in order for us to go on a real date,
I want you to read this book.
-Remember what book it was? -"The Coldest Winter Ever."
-Yeah. -And you finished it.
But you finished it because you really liked it.
-I really liked it. -And I knew you would like it.
-Yeah, I liked the book. -Like, I would call you.
You'd be like, "I'm gonna call you right back.
I'm reading the book."
I'm like, well, damn, it wasn't supposed what happen like that.
-I saw how much you made me better, how you pushed me,
and how you was on me about certain things
and how you'd, like -- not tough love,
but, like, you know, "Pick your head up, let's go."
-The thing is, too -- and you say that I do,
I give you the tough love, like, "Come on, pick your head up.
Let's go." And what I'm working on,
because, of course, I'm not perfect, but what I'm working on
is the soft love, too. You know, because tough love
is not the only thing that can push a person.
Sometimes soft love helps, as well.
You need those moments where you can just cry and be vulnerable.
And I'm working on accepting that.
I find that it's definitely an investment in our relationship.
-Us and different couples have open discussions
about different relationship topics...
-Mm-hmm. -...problems at each other
might deal with in a -- in a relationship.
And the thing I like -- I really love about that
is that nobody's biased.
It's a safe space for everybody
that's not -- not judgmental. You know?
-We discuss stuff like being present with your mate
and actively planning date nights.
-Yeah. -How do you handle
maybe exes from the past?
-And roles, too, as far as, like --
-Gender roles? -Yeah, gender roles.
-We talk about gender roles.
And what do you expect from your partner?
-It refreshes me, refreshes you. -Mm-hmm.
-And we just ready to take on another three months.
-Yep, right. Until the next to the next night.
-Till the next one, yeah.
♪♪
Well, a low moment that we done had probably was like...
-We got through it. -...when you had
your miscarriage. -Mm-hmm.
-I have never felt like that.
I was really hurtin'. -Mm-hmm.
-It was like I remember you asking me, like,
"You all right?" -Mm-hmm.
-I'm like, "No, I'm not okay." -Mm-hmm.
-Like, it really touched me for some reason.
And I'm like, dang, like, because I knew you were happy,
I was happy, and we had finally told our parents.
Mm-hmm.
-And then, to go in to the doctor,
and the doctor said, "I'm sorry."
-Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. -No heart beating.
And, like, dang, I just felt, like, a loss.
And that was a low moment, and we --
I don't know how we got through. We got through it together.
-Mm-hmm. -And then, next thing you know,
Cruz is here. -Cruz is here, yeah.
I was pregnant and didn't know it when you proposed.
I had Cruz inside of me and did not know it.
-We was actually engaged for, like, 500 and...
-Something days. -...40 days.
-Uh-huh. Yeah, we were engaged for a minute.
-So, and I started a countdown. -I can appreciate that,
'cause we had to, you know, basically get Cruz here,
you know, and get him flourishing and everything.
And we have a wedding next week and a nine-month-old.
Thank God we haven't had too many low moments.
Yeah, we've -- we've had challenges, though,
with me dealing with postpartum,
not -- not really postpartum depression,
but just postpartum after having a baby
and your body is trying to go back to,
I would say, its normal state. Your horm--
Your hormones are trying to balance out again.
-Right.
-And that takes you through a lot of up and down,
up and down, up and down.
We're, like, still in the midst of trying to deal with that...
-Right. Right, right. -...with my hormones regulating
on top of planning the wedding.
I think the best thing that we have been doing
is just investing in us.
Even if it's talking, if it's sitting on the porch
and having a glass of wine. -Or walking.
-We've been taking walks around the neighborhood.
That really helps, you know, things like that.
-How does it feel to love a Black man?
-It's -- It's a blessing to love a Black man.
It's a true blessing to love a Black man
'cause I believe Black men are king.
They are amazing.
How does it feel to love a Black queen?
-It's power. You know what I'm saying?
It's like a -- a sense of power that you get,
the -- the love of Black queen.
One thing I'd say about a Black woman,
she'd just keep rolling with the punches,
which it shouldn't be that way. You know, we should be helpmates
and better each other, too.
To love a Black queen, it's like so much
honor and I respect that I give them.
And it's -- it's -- it's like a breath of fresh air.
One of your strengths that I admire
and try to do everyday is you're a great listener.
-Mm-hmm. -I want to do that.
And you love to read.
Like, I need to learn how to do that.
-Mm. -I know how to read, of course.
I ain't saying I don't know how read, but --
-You want to love it. -I want to love it.