Hello everyone.
Today I want to share with you a key
that you can use in your day-to-day life
for letting go.
We all want to find the key to letting go.
After all,
it is one of the most important parts of healing.
But most of us get stuck when it comes to letting go.
We get stuck because we are missing a puzzle piece.
And that puzzle piece is the positive intention.
The only reason that we would do anything in life,
is because we think
that it would make us feel better
to do that thing.
A better way of saying this, is that the only reason we do anything
is because we think that it somehow serves us.
We only do things
because we think it will make us feel better.
So we can call this reasoning, "the buried positive intention".
And often these intentions are buried so deep in us
that we have no conscious awareness of it.
But our ability to let go and to heal in our own lives
depends upon on our ability
to look for those buried positive intentions
and to be honest with ourselves about them.
Our ability to live in a conscious
and compassionate way towards other people,
depends on our ability
to go searching for and be honest about,
the buried positive intentions which exist within in them.
We can take this concept of the buried positive intention
even further
and apply it to the understanding
that we create our own realities in its entirety.
When you experience something
where you feel like you are a victim,
such as getting cancer,
or getting in a car accident,
even though you feel like a victim,
you have, either consciously, or more often subconsciously,
lined up with that experience
and thus created it by default.
So even the things which you feel a victim to,
are actually things of your own creation.
It is one of the most difficult things to accept about the universe,
but it is true.
And even these things,
where we feel as if we are the victim,
where we feel as if we did not create it,
we actually did create for a positive intention.
We create everything in our realities
because it will serve us.
You may not have conscious awareness of this
in your temporary individual life,
from your human perspective.
But the only reason anything is currently
or ever was in your life at all....
It is because of a buried positive intention.
The first question we need to ask ourselves
relative to anything that we are struggling with is:
How is _________ (fill in the blank)
positively serving me?
For example:
How is getting sick positively serving me?
Sit with the question and allow the answer to surface.
The answer may be something like...
"If I am sick then other people will pay attention to me,
and so I will feel loved."
The second question is:
What is the positive intention I have for _______ (fill in the blank)?
For example:
What is the positive intention that I have for being sick?
The answer might be that "I am trying to feel loved".
The positive intention may be different
for two people who are experiencing the same negative circumstance.
But for the sake of understanding the idea
that there are positive intentions behind everything,
here is a list of potential hidden positive intentions:
#1:
I got fired.
My positive intention behind getting fired
is that I actually hated my job,
and I want an excuse to have to start my own business.
So the positive intention is:
"I want to start my own business".
#2:
I have the belief that I hate traveling.
My positive intention behind having that belief
is that I will decide to stay home
where I feel in control of my environment and feel safe.
So my positive intention is to stay safe.
#3:
I doubt myself.
My positive intention behind doubting myself
is that it will prevent me from making a decision,
so I can't be held accountable for making the wrong decision.
So my positive intention is to avoid shame
and maintain external approval from other people.
#4:
I beat someone up.
My positive intention behind beating someone up
is that I felt a sense of power as opposed to powerlessness
when I did it.
So my positive intention was the desire to feel empowerment.
#5:
I lose my temper.
My positive intention behind losing my temper
is that when I get angry, everyone shuts up and listens,
and I suddenly feel control over them.
Having control over them
makes me feel as if I control my world,
and that gives me a sense of inner calm and peace.
So my positive intention is to feel a sense of inner calm and peace.
#6:
I relapsed and drank alcohol again
even though I am part of the 12 Step Program.
My positive intention for relapsing
is that I started to get scared
that other people would start to expect me to take care of myself
if I am recovered,
and I don't feel capable of that.
So my positive intention was to feel the support of other people.
#7:
I cheated on my wife.
I started to feel as if I was taken for granted.
The other woman made me feel as if I was important and wanted.
So my positive intention for cheating on my wife
was to feel a sense of significance,
to feel wanted and loved.
#8:
I have Multiple Sclerosis.
I was feeling overwhelmed
with all the pressure that was placed on me at home.
I did not feel good about asking for help from my husband
who expected me to fulfill my duties as a wife, mother, and homemaker.
By getting sick,
I had an excuse for why he had to help me.
So my positive intention for having MS
is to avoid having to do things that I don't want to do,
and to feel my husband participate in our life together and support me.
#9:
I am fat.
Being fat allows me to feel warm and hidden,
and feeling warm and hidden
makes me feel not so exposed, and therefore safe.
So my positive intention for being fat, is to feel safe.
#10:
I lie.
My positive intention for lying
is to make myself seem more impressive to other people
because I do not feel as if the truth of who I am is good enough.
So my positive intention for lying is to feel as if I am good enough
and to get approval from other people.
#11:
I killed someone.
I usually feel separate from people
and separate from connection.
When I killed them,
it felt as if I owned them,
and as if I was suddenly significant in their lives.
And that is the closest I have ever felt to human connection.
So my positive intention for killing someone,
was to feel a sense of human connection.
We can always discover higher and higher levels
of positive intention, as well.
For example:
If we find that our hidden positive intention is to gain approval,
we can ask ourselves:
"What is my positive intention for gaining approval?"
And the answer may be:
"To feel loved".
Then we can ask ourselves:
"What is my positive intention for feeling loved?"
The answer may be:
"To feel at one with other people, and therefore the Universe."
There is a positive purpose and function
for everything in our lives.
Everything in our lives serves us in some way.
It is these hidden positive intentions
which bind us to the things that we can't heal from.
It is the hidden positive intentions
which bind us to the things that we can't let go of
and that we can't get over
and the things we perpetually keep doing
even though we know it hurts us in some way.
We are missing the fact that it is actually serving us, as well.
And that's the real reason that we can't let go of it.
If we are brave enough to find the hidden positive intention
within the rubble of the things we are struggling with,
we can unhook the anchors that tie us to them.
All of our positive intentions
point to our most basic needs.
So if we are able to find what need we are trying to fulfill
through these hidden positive intentions,
then we have access to healing
because we can find different ways
to fulfill those needs.
Healthy ways to fulfill those needs.
Not ways that are both healthy and detrimental.
There will be no need to perpetuate negative situations
in order to fulfill our needs,
if we are fulfilling them in healthy ways,
alternative ways.
When we are brave enough to find these hidden positive intentions,
then we have the key to letting go,
we have the key to healing.
We can find the tenderness
that is present within the heart of every being.
You will live a life of pure compassion.
It is difficult to see an aspect of fear
relative to something which originates from a positive intention.
It's easier to see that we are all scared children
running around trying to fulfill our most basic needs,
when we can find the buried positive intention.
So if you are able to be honest
about these positive intentions,
rather than just writing things off
as causing you pain,
then you can live in this world free from suffering,
you can unhook yourself from your pain.
We lose this opportunity every time we say:
"No, no, no, it's not benefiting me in any way.
This is just completely ruining my life.
This is totally detrimental."
We lose the opportunity to let go of that thing
because we are unwilling to search
for the hidden positive intention
for why we have created it in the first place,
for why we may be perpetuating that thing.
So try to look for these hidden positive intentions in your own life.
I promise you it will help you
to let everything that you are struggling with,
and everything that no longer serves you, go.
Have a good week.
Subtitles by: Tanya Duarte www.tanyaduarte.com