- (spooky voice) This video is just a dream!
I just realized that I filmed that,
and I forgot to put my pants back on.
I filmed without my pants!
The heat's on in my apartment, it's hot!
So having dreams are pretty common,
and if you're anything like me,
you actually remember the dream
sometimes when you wake up.
And that can either be really cool,
or really weird, 'cause, like,
I have this recurring dream where
I'm running down the street, and I'm wearing a dress,
and I'm covered in chocolate,
and I have a glass dildo in one hand,
and a plunger in the other, and I'm running,
and I'm being chased by a clown
that's spraying whip cream at me, what?
But anyways, unlike that dream,
a lot of dreams are actually quite common,
so, I decided to look up
the top ten most common dreams,
and explain their meaning to you guys.
Have you ever had a dream where you've been in
an out of control car, or you've been in an accident,
or you're heading for a cliff, or something like that?
Well, what that is is your subconscious telling you
that you feel powerless about something in your life
and that you feel like you're headed for disaster.
I know I always get these dreams
whenever I start a new diet.
Except, you know, the car is made of chocolate
and I don't get in the car, I eat the car.
Have you ever had a dream where
you're trying to use a computer
or a telephone, but it won't connect
to the internet or it won't dial?
Well, these dreams mean that
you're losing touch with reality,
and you're having trouble making connections
with the people in your life, or making connections
with new people, like new friends.
Personally, I never have these dreams.
I mean, I got tons of friends,
(fake coughs) on Facebook.
If you've ever had a dream where you've been lost
in a maze, or you're trapped in a box,
or some sort of other structure where you can't move,
it means that you're facing, or you're going to face
a difficult decision in your life
that you don't want to make or feel like you can't make.
When I was little, the "Beetlejuice" movie just came out,
and I had this dream where I was lost in my house
and around every corner I turn,
Beetlejuice was there.
(fake crying) Still in therapy over that one.
These are those dreams where you're trying
to catch some mode of transportation
like a car, a bus, or a plane,
but you can't quite catch up to them
and you miss it, or you arrive late
to an event that's already started.
These dreams mean you feel like
you recently missed out on
an important opportunity in your life.
I remember one time, I missed a sale on "Rogaine",
I had dreams I missed the bus for a week.
These dreams often come to people
who have been out of school for a while.
You either can't pass a test, you can't find the test room,
or you just feel generally unprepared for the test.
Well, these dreams mean that you're anticipating
being tested at some point in the near future in your life,
and you feel like you're unprepared for it.
For me, personally, these are my
most hated types of dreams.
Like, when you get them, you wake up with this
just general feeling of dread; it's terrible.
Wake up sweatin' like a gerbil in a gay bar.
These are those dreams where you're either sick,
or you're injured, or you're dying,
and it comes to people that have been
emotionally hurt or are afraid of being hurt.
However, if someone else in the dream is injured,
sick, or dying, it means that
you're afraid of losing someone.
And if you've ever had a dream
where you've killed someone,
well then you need to seek help.
That's (bleep) up.
The hell's wrong with you?
This is another very common dream
where something scary's chasing you,
like a monster or a killer, and the meaning
of this dream is that someone in your life
currently is making you feel very uncomfortable,
or even threatened.
And apparently, you can actually
try to figure out who the person in your life is
that's making you feel this way
by comparing certain features of the monster
to the people in your life.
'Cause, like, I remember when I was a kid
I had this dream once where I was being chased
by Jabba the Hutt, (tisks) turns out
I was just watching too much Rosie O'Donnell.
In these dreams, you're either missing teeth,
your teeth are falling out, or you have really bad teeth.
And the meaning of these dreams
is that you're either feeling unattractive,
you're afraid of being found unattractive,
or just a general feeling of loss of power.
This is another set of really weird dreams.
If you've ever had dreams like this,
you know how weird you feel
when you wake up, it's bizarre.
(voice changes) Guess I don't have to
buy toothpaste anymore.
In these dreams, you find yourself
either partially naked or completely naked
in front of a group of people,
and what they represent is a feeling
of shame, embarrassment, or vulnerability
about some event that recently happened in your life.
Believe it or not, this one is especially common
in single people that have recently been at a wedding,
because you see the people that just got married
and how they found love in another person,
and you feel, somewhat,
like you're missing that yourself.
See, to me, this would be the type of dream
that would be fun to recognize
when you're in the dream,
like know you're dreaming, 'cause then
you could just, like, go around messing with
dream people, like, you know, slapping 'em
with your dream wang.
No?
Okay, maybe not, whatever, moving on.
And the most common dream...
We've always had dreams like this
at some point in our lives,
and they're those dreams where you're either falling,
you're drowning in water, or you're sinking
in quick sand, and what they represent
is a feeling of insecurity or lack of support in your life,
and they're especially common for people
that are facing something really overwhelming
in their life at the moment.
Fun fact about these dreams,
you know how they say you're supposed to
wake up before you hit the ground?
Well, I actually had a dream where I was falling
from a tall height, and I actually hit the ground.
Like, I didn't wake up and, like,
I thought I died in my dream, so when I woke up,
I was actually not sure if I was alive,
or dead, or I was still dreaming,
it was really (bleep) up.
So those are the ten most common
dreams and their meanings, and I apologize
if I wasn't able to address that dream you have,
where you're getting humped by the octopus
with the wooden legs and a pirate's watching.
Yeah, couldn't find that one online.
And that's it.
As always, if you like this video,
please click "like" and "subscribe"
and share it with someone, and other than that,
I will see you guys next Saturday.
(voice changed) Sweet dreams.
(evil laugh)
Well that was weird.
(horn tooting)
(stand-by beep)
(laughs) Runnin' out of breath over here.
(spooky voice) This video is just a dream!
(rattling)
(voice changes) Bye.