- Hey guys, I know you're here for the video
so I'm going to make this really fast.
We have someone drop out of our cast
which is the reason we only have one guy in this episode,
but honestly we want to do the best job possible
by getting you the best cast with an array of opinions.
So if you want to be in our videos,
make sure you sign up at jubileemedia.com/casting
and of course I'm going to read
all your applications, all your stories.
Enjoy the video, guys.
- My dad cheated on my mom,
my mom cheated on my dad,
my sister would always get cheated on,
my brother cheated on his wife.
I never thought that I would cause
that kind of pain to someone.
- I am a cheater and it was a very hard time
in my life when it happened.
I ruined an entire part of myself.
- Before, I wasn't very empathetic with cheaters,
but after I did it, I understood.
- I feel like it a part of me,
but it's not who I am right now.
- I'd say in my early 20s,
I didn't know why I was cheating.
I didn't think a bunch about it.
- Normally, a lot of people,
they definitely beat themselves up for it,
I kind of, I don't.
- [Interviewer] When I cheated, I enjoyed it.
Three, two, one, go.
(indistinct chattering)
(laughing)
- I was there for it. I was there for the cheating.
Like, let me tell you, like, I'm here for it.
It's a catharsis.
It's cool for like the moments
while you're in it and then afterwards I feel horrible.
It's like, okay, I'm doing this.
I feel good because I'm connecting with someone and I'm not
connecting with my partner
and so this feels good to have this sort of connection with
someone else.
- I cheated in another country so at that time I was like,
"Oh, nobody's going to know about this.
I don't say anything, you know,
it's all about me right now."
So at that time I enjoyed it.
But yeah, as soon as I got back,
I just felt so guilty, man.
You know, high and then it went like low.
Yeah I enjoyed it in the process because one,
my boyfriend at the time was 2000 miles away
and here's my best friend's cousin who is right here
and open and willing
and I was like fuck it, let's go.
- I actually cheated on somebody, I was in a long
distance relationship.
I didn't cheat on the person like through sex,
it was something totally different,
I just considered other things as cheating.
I did not enjoy it, no,
it was like with a friend from like middle school,
he like hit me up,
I was like, "How are you doing?
Okay, let's go hang out. What's happening?"
So, no, I didn't enjoy it and-
- You didn't enjoy the moment,
like you didn't enjoy like actually being with the person?
- No.
- Not at all from the very beginning?
- No, you just like let things happen, I just let it happen.
I'm just like, "Oh, yeah, no, not again."
- Really, then why didn't you stop?
Why didn't you say, "No, I don't want to do this thing."?
- Yeah, thought I'd been like my Lyft's outside, gotta go.
(indistinct chattering)
- Like he was like my ride so I couldn't like
(all chattering)
- He was your Lyft.
- I couldn't, yeah, no.
- [Interviewer] Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Three, two, one, go.
- I would say I strongly disagree with this saying simply
because people change, people grow up, people learn things.
Just because I did this one bad thing when I was like,
let's say 15, doesn't mean that it should haunt me
for the rest of my adulthood.
- Once a cheater was a cheater.
Okay. No, not really.
I've been in several long term relationships where
like I've cheated from the very beginning
until the very end of the relationship.
Now you guys are saying,
like I cheated one time when I was 15
or some shit like that.
I'm like, oh, you guys are awesome.
I was like on some straight fuck boy shit.
So like, I was, straight up.
So like what I was doing, wasn't truly who I was,
it was a defense mechanism.
I have these strong emotions towards my partner,
I really wish that they would listen to me, they're not
and so I'm just going to go and do something
that makes me feel better.
So I don't think that 'once a cheater, always a cheater,'
but I do on the other hand
always tell every partner that I've been
with about my habits and what I've done in the past.
I share it openly,
because I think it's something that should be shared
more often because we're not the only people that cheat,
people watching the stuff are also cheaters.
- [Interviewer] I would be willing to forgive someone
if they cheated on me.
Three, two, one, go.
- Just because of simple fact that I told my boyfriend
at the time that I cheated on him and then he forgave me
but then these things started happening where he's like,
"Oh boy, like, what's up? Where are you going?"
I'm like, "Oh, I'm going to parties."
"Oh, boys are going to be there. Huh?"
I'm just like, "Why would you do that?"
It just makes me want to like just go back to what
I was doing, let me just hop like, I can't.
- You have like no faith or trust in me, like-
- Yeah, exactly.
The trust after was gone, like, oh, I'm fine, we're fine
like, no, we're not because you're not emotionally,
mentally like, oh, like, we're done.
- [Hayley] Right. - It wasn't done.
So after that, I broke up with him and I was like, no,
I'm not going to be that person
that's just like, "Oh, you cheated, bye."
I'm not going to be like that mentally or physically,
I'm just going to be like,
"No, we're going to work this out."
- If it was the other way around,
I still would've been begging at his knees to be with me
because of how much I was in love with him
and I still forgive him for what he's done to me
and if anybody were to do that later on I'd be like,
"Hey, I've done it too."
- A three out of the four relationships I was in
I was a cheater, but on that one, that last one,
I got cheated on, cheating all throughout that first year,
second year, same thing through that,
I forgave him for all of it.
I was still the one begging him to be with me.
I like tried, I said I forgave him for that,
but I didn't really, I still have a lot of hate
in my heart for that.
But would I let the next person do that?
Hell the fuck no like, what do you mean I'm going to get
to know you just for you to do all of that stuff?
Like that's why we learned from our past mistakes,
which that's kind of me being a hypocrite
because I did the same mistake over and over again.
- You changed? - Yeah.
Only because, you know, before I cheated,
I would've actually been all the way back there.
And then I came here because I hold grudges
so I mean, I will be more understanding
to a person if they cheated on me because I did it,
but it would be really hard for me to let it go,
'cause I would always replay it in my head.
For me actually the person I cheated on,
we're still together, we're getting married next month.
- I was going to ask you about that. Congrats.
- Yeah, so he forgave me big time,
obviously. - I want to find out,
so you cheated on him long, like overseas?
- Yes.
At first I was just like, "Okay,
I'm going to just break it off, not say anything."
But he was so willing to fix whatever was going on.
And he was like, "I don't know what's going on,
what can I do fix it?"
I was like, "This is just what I'm what's going on,
this is what I have in my head, like I'm unhappy,
I think we should go to counseling and stuff."
And so we did and we like, we're more honest
and open with each other
and we were able to like work it out.
- That's awesome.
- [Interviewer] Cheating is always wrong.
Three, two, one, go.
- It's not always wrong because, what if that person
that's your relationship with is like toxic?
You're just like, okay, I have like an excuse
to cheat on this person.
That's why...
- Isn't that more of an excuse
to break up with the person than it is to cheat?
- I know, but like you still, but you still have benefits
with that person too, you know what I'm saying?
Like you're in this relationship and you're like,
you have benefits so why (indistinct).
- That's a hard part, right? - [Jaz] Yes.
- It's like, this is one of the things I'm like,
why I'm afraid of marriage.
It's like, in some ways it's like,
what if shit goes like super south?
And it's like, I can't just undo this,
this is not just a break up.
- I am a firm believer that no matter how toxic somebody is,
no matter how horrible somebody can be,
I don't think anybody on this planet deserves
to be cheated on.
I wanted to believe I had good reason, but I didn't,
even though he called me a dumb bitch, every other sentence
and I was the most ugly and stupid person
that he's ever met
and I only exist to send him nudes, like...
- Yeah, you did the right thing by getting
out of that relationship.
- Yeah.
- You did the right thing for sure, for sure.
- Yeah.
- [Interviewer] You can be in love and still cheat.
Three, two, one, go.
- So the reason why I'm strongly disagree is
because if you actually love someone,
why would you ever want to inflict
any sort of pain on them?
Since you are supposed to be their,
I guess you can say their other half,
why would you want to be the bad half of it?
It doesn't really make any sense.
- Did you love the guys that you cheated on?
- No. That's why.
- You didn't love them? - I don't love any of them.
- Did you tell them that you love them?
- No.
- You never said, " I love you?"
- Well I never said it to any of them,
'cause I didn't love them.
- Oh, okay, well that's interesting.
I mean, I was in love with the people I cheated on.
I mean...
- Would you call yourself a selfish person?
- Super selfish. At that time? For sure.
Super, super selfish. I was-
- But do you think you could have gone been selfish
in a different way and still not
have hurt the person?
- Exactly. Yeah I do. I agree with you.
And that's a thing that now in this
at this portion of life, like I try and do...
I've not cheated in a long while.
- Yeah, I don't have too many experience with relationships
so actually my fiance, he was my first boyfriend, so...
- Did you feel like you wanted to experience other people?
What was the- - 200%.
So yeah, like I said
he was my first relationship and at that time
like I wasn't very confident in myself, my appearance,
my personality, guys were always looking at my friends,
you know, and I was like, okay, this guy likes me,
it's like, this is it, you know?
And then as I got older, I just like more comfortable
with myself and I'm like, when I was in Japan
I was like, oh hey, people, like, I'm getting attention,
like I love this, like,
not like I fell outta love with my fiance now
but it was like, hey, somebody else likes me,
I am pretty like, I am cool,
he's not just saying that, you know?
- [Interviewer] I have forgiven myself.
Three, two, one, go.
- Damn, you guys haven't for forgiven yourselves?
I've forgiven myself. For sure, for sure.
I mean, it took a lot of like reflecting.
I don't think, my cheating is not truly who I am.
It was the result of not seeing healthy relationships
as I was growing up, not seeing how people can work
through things in a healthy way.
- I feel like I had to forgive myself just because,
especially after the relationship that I was in after that,
I got cheated on just because now I understand
both sides of it.
It isn't easy both ways, but I feel like if you
really actually want to learn and grow from something,
you definitely have to forgive yourself
because you can't grow if you don't forgive yourself.
- I still haven't kind of forgiven myself just
for the simple fact that we're kind of like in a courtship,
so we're like intended to get married.
So I could have been in like her shoes of like, "oh fiance,"
but I didn't get that chance just because of simple fact
that I cheated and then all that stuff happened and yeah
that's something that I was like, damn this time,
it would've stayed and I didn't cheat,
I could have been like married by now,
I could have had like the life that I wanted.
- Do you think that you'd be like you
and the guy would still be together if you hadn't cheated?
- No. - [Vincent] Okay. Okay.
- To be honest, 'cause I don't know
how long I would've lasted in the long distance relationship
so, well, that's why I cheated.
- I'm definitely still working on it.
It's something that still happened recently just last year
so I just felt like, you know, all my life,
I grew up to be this perfect person.
My parents were very proud of me,
I never like went against them.
So when I went to Japan, we were already engaged.
So me coming back, my dad already put money
on a down payment for the venue and stuff, I felt so guilty.
So like even now I just I know everybody's
like forgiving of me
but I just have to work on forgiving myself still,
'cause I still think about it, you know,
how I affected everybody around me.
- [Interviewer] All right guys, that's a wrap.
(all clapping)
- Come on, guys. - I'm going to cry.
- One, two, cheaters.
- That was so crazy.
(gentle music)
- This is what cheaters look like.
- [All] Yeah.
- When you came here, I didn't realize like, I was like,
"You guys are cheaters, like, what's up?"
- I came out and I was like, "You look like a cheater."
(all laughing)
(gentle music)