[SOUND]
Oh!
- Sue, it's so great to see you.
- Oh, Pam, it's been too long.
- Yes, I'm sorry I was late.
My ship got delayed.
Some idiot refused suspended animation.
- You know, when you buy your tickets for intergalactic travel,
you consent to suspended animation, right, right.
- [LAUGH] Oh Sue, I've missed you - Oh, are you tired?
You must be hungry.
I made your favorite.
[SOUND] - Roasted snips, you remembered.
- Well of course, I remembered.
You're my dearest and longest friend.
- I was trying to remember just how we met and I couldn't.
- I remember exactly how we met.
[MUSIC]
- Oh hey, hi I was hoping you could help me.
Do you know if I can get to the Hollywood sign from here?
- Oh yeah, I just came from there.
I'm actually not from here, but I know that so up here, you're,
there's going to be like a break in the road.
- Uh-huh. - You just go left, and
then you'll get a stop sign after that, and take a left at the stop sign.
You're right there. - Wow, great, okay great.
Thank you. - Glad to help.
- Bye.
[SOUND]
- Oh wait a minute.
It's not how you get to the sign.
It's how you get to a view of the sign.
Think I just told her the wrong thing.
Oh no.
This is the only way back down.
[MUSIC]
- This is nice up here.
- Oh no. - Left up here.
- Oh no, oh no.
[MUSIC]
- Oh, no, oh, no.
- Finally gonna make it to the Hollywood sign.
[SOUND] I'm not at the Hollywood sign.
This is just a dumb view of the sign.
I can see this from my apartment.
What an idiot.
[MUSIC]
- Hey, those directions you gave me were wrong.
I don't know you.
- I know it's you.
You told me the wrong way to go.
You just ruined my whole day.
I only get an hour for lunch.
- I love lunch.
- Maybe it's not you.
- [NOISE] - It is you.
You better run!
Run! Run!
You better run.
You better. [SOUND]
- That was you.
- No, no, no.
That's not right.
I didn't make it to California before it was destroyed.
- Who would have thought there were millions of giant sandworms living deep
underground for thousands of years?
- David Lynch.
- Dune.
[LAUGH] - Remember
when people used to watch movies?
- I remember when David Lynch was a human and not just a beam of energy.
- Hmm.
Most people were human back then.
- Those were the dumb old days.
- When people were obsessed with their looks.
- Well, we were obsessed with the way we looked.
I remember where we met.
[MUSIC]
- Like ten things that gross me out and one is seeing, like,
either those socks, toe-socks, socks where you have all the toes separate or
those shoes where you see all the toes separate.
I just don't like to see toes separate.
- Mm-hm. - When I can't see their actual toe.
Cause I'm sort of, like, what's in there?
Like a three layer cake or.
- Mm-hm. - What's, what is that toe made of,
you know?
- I'm sorry, this piece is just really bugging me.
- Sure. - [SOUND] I fell like I
gotta just blend it in
a little bit here - Do you want me to get the back?
- That would be great.
- Sure.
[SOUND] Here you go.
- Thank you.
[MUSIC]
What do you think of this?
- Ooh, it's fun.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, maybe a little shorter.
Keep going.
- All right.
[MUSIC]
How's that?
- It's amazing.
- Great. - Thank you.
Thank you so much.
- You're welcome.
- Wow.
- Glad you like it.
- Thanks.
I'll give you that.
- Oh. - Thank you.
[MUSIC]
- [SOUND] Well, that doesn't seem right.
- No, no it doesn't.
Does it?
- Oh, I almost forgot.
I got you something.
- [SOUND] A cat!
Oh!
He is so soft, and fluffy!
Oh, thank you.
Thank you. - I know how you love cats.
- Oh yeah.
Oh yes.
Hello there.
I love cats they're so sweet.
I forgot to feed you.
Oh my goodness.
- They're so cute.
Yeah, you know I remember where we met.
[MUSIC]
- Oh hey.
I borrowed your stapler last week.
- Oh, yeah.
I was looking for it.
[LAUGH] - I had
a bunch of stuff I had to staple at home.
- Oh. Okay.
- Some bills.
A bag of cat food, a skirt.
I think I'm leaving early today.
I have to take my aunt to the doctor.
I think I have take a half day.
- Well, a half day's not too bad.
[LAUGH] - Maybe I'll just take a quarter day.
I hate using my personal days.
I saved up 85 personal days.
Maybe I'll just go at lunch.
Don't worry about my aunt.
She's not sick, she just has to go to the doctor to get a.
[NOISE]
I have to go to the bathroom
- [SOUND]
That's
right.
- You know I never did use my sick days.
- Well people stopped getting sick.
- Once you survive the plague, you're never sick another day.
[LAUGH] The human race almost perished!
- Yes, thank goodness for
those secret isolation chambers that were buried deep in the ocean.
- Thank goodness for the sea lions.
- Yes, thank goodness for the sea lions.
You know I can hardly remember the time
when the sea lions didn't rule over humans.
- I remember the day they saved us all.
- Think I'm getting kinda bored lately.
- I hope it's not contagious.
- So, when I'm feeling really zoned, I like to go to Banana Republic.
- Ew.
- I mean J Crew.
- Better.
- And I pull one shoulder off of the sweaters on hangers.
- I like that look on a lady.
- And, there it dangles like a sentient being between life and death, and then,
someone will come by and lightly knock it and zoom.
- It goes out like a light in an eye.
- My mom gets migraines.
- When I did this yesterday, next person came by and knocked it down, it tumbled.
I have to admit, I lingered to see it happen and it was Shaquille O'Neal.
Well, I helped him pick it up and we put it back on the hanger and
our hands touched gingerly, and he smiled at me and
he kept thinking I worked there even though I said over and over that I didn't.
- Special moments.
[MUSIC]
- I thought we were thinking about sea lions.
- Whoops!
I think I was thinking about shopping.
- Everyone dressed different and you weren't issued a standard survival suit.
- Those were dumber times.
You know people would actually go outside?
- Before the atmosphere was destroyed by a giant meteor shower.
What a beautiful day that was.
- [LAUGH] Hey.
We used to go outside.
- And play tennis. - What idiots we were.
[SOUND] - There's only one
thing standing between us and the championship.
- Well, two things.
- Yeah, two things.
- The Douglas twins.
[MUSIC]
[LAUGH] - I like your shirt!
- No, I like your shirt!
- I like your shirt!!
- Oh my gosh, you guys!
- You guys start!
- No, you guys start!
- No, you guys!
- Let's play friendly tennis!
- Yay!
- Can you believe that we had a foursome with the Douglas twins?
- It was hard to tell them apart.
- They looked exactly alike.
[LAUGH] - Hey,
can you remember when we all did the community theater production,
Humans Are From Earth, Sea Lions Are From a Superior Place?
- How could I forget that?
[MUSIC]
[SOUND] - Hey Sue,
they're gonna need you on stage in about 15 minutes.
You ready for this?
- Oh, yeah.
Almost.
- You nervous?
- I don't really get nervous anymore.
I'm totally prepared.
- Do you want a water or anything?
- No thanks.
How are you doing?
- I'm good. I just got certified
as a scuba instructor.
- That's great.
- All right. Well I'll let you do what you
need to do before the show.
- I'll get to my little ritual.
[LAUGH] La, la la
la la la la la.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
But I've got a good job.
I'll always love you.
- Hey, everything okay back here?
- Never better!
- Good.
You have about two minutes.
- Great.
Can't wait.
Great.
- Well, break a leg.
- [LAUGH] - [LAUGH]
- [SOUND] Would you like
to go home together?
Ugh, ugh!
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
I caught you! - They're ready for ya.
[MUSIC]
- So is yours pink or brown?
- I don't know.
I've never seen it. - Whenever you're ready.
[SOUND] - If I had to guess, I'd say pink.
- I would too.
- I think you should pay.
- Hey, how'd it go?
- Surprise, surprise. [LAUGH]
- I was great.
- I'm sorry I can't come in today.
I have to take my aunt to the doctor.
She has this.
- Well you owe me because next week, I'm seeing Shaquille O'neal perform.
- God, he is such an amazing artist.
- I know. Voice of an angel.
- Good morning, ladies.
- Why do you even bother?
They cannot hear you.
- I know.
- Can you imagine getting on a ship for intergalactic travel,
they put you in suspended animation, and then you never wake up?
- That's why I always refuse suspended animation.
- Well you know what they say.
Anyone who doesn't is [CROSSTALK] an idiot.
[LAUGH] - I was great.
- You were great.
- I was great.
- You were great.
- I was great.
- You were great.
- I was great.
- You were great.
- I was great.
- You were great.
- I was great.
- You were great.
- I was great.
- You were great.
- I was great.
- You were great.
- I was great.
- You were great.
- I was great.
- You were great.
- I was great.
- You were great.
- I was great.
- You were great.
- I was great.
- You were great.
- I was great.
- You were great.
- I was great.
- You were great.
- I was great.
- You were great.
[SOUND]