I'm wrecking the set.
Oh, that's alright.
It isn't worth too much.
It isn't worth much.
How are you?
Yeah. I'm great.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
That must be exciting, you won an Emmy last night.
I was completely in shock.
Yeah. Cause I was with Dennis France, Lily Tomlin
Ed Asner, Rita Moreno.
And I went and Louie Anderson, I went
"Mm, I better wear something colorful."
So at least I'll be in a picture or something.
Cause I honest to God, I didn't prepare anything.
I just thought, oh there's no shot.
[Conan] Right.
You just don't think that,
you don't think you're going to beat those people.
No
I would assume I was never going to win anything.
You've won an Emmy.
Yeah. Years and years ago,
I won it for my work on Hee Haw, which was highly acclaimed.
I was Junior.
Yeah. (laughing)
We stood in the cornfield together, I remember that.
Hey, Conan!
Hi!
That's my favorite bit in the world, by the way.
Well, did you celebrate?
What did you do last night?
You won an Emmy.
I actually went and got the big spicy Buffalo wings.
(audience laughing)
You know, everybody has their own way of celebrating.
That's what you do.
You just went crazy with the Buffalo wings?
I laid in them.
(laughing)
I had the tub filled at the hotel.
Seriously.
Of Buffalo wings.
And the dip was just put on me
and I'd grab one and drag it across me and then eat it.
(laughing)
Fantastic.
That sounds really fun.
That sounds very, very good
It's just an individual thing.
I would think there'd be various spots
in your body where that would be unpleasant.
spicy Buffalo wings.
You know what?
My navel will hold quite a bit of dip.
(laughing)
In fact, there's still some in there for later.
You never can have too much.
Nice thing, too, cause you won for a show,
this, this show is based
to some extent, on your childhood?
Yeah. Yeah.
I took out all the horrible stuff
and just kept the humor.
No, I mean, my, my family was crazy.
My parents, well, you come from a big family, don't you?
Yes, yes, thanks for leaving out the crazy part.
No, I come from, I'm one of six kids.
We grew up in a pretty low, but you are?
One of eleven.
Oh my god.
Exactly.
So there are like brothers and sisters you haven't met yet
who lived in the house with you?
Oh, you! I saw you in the bathroom!
Yeah. Wait, who the hell are you?
Mom!
So, but it's weird because you know,
that's a lot of people
Eleven's a lot.
Eleven is way too many
and people always say, were your parents Catholic?
And I always say no, my dad is a musician.
which never gets a laugh.
(chuckling) But that little part afterwards does.
Yeah, what I saw it never gets a laugh.
Uh-huh.
You know, growing up in that kind of family,
it's just...
What kind of, when your dad was a little
like what kind of stuff-
Eccentric stuff was your dad doing?
You know my dad, what he used to do is,
he was the kind of guy who hated everybody.
Like he would see somebody driving,
he'd be driving down the street
and he'd see somebody and he'd slow the car down and go,
"Look at that.
For crying out loud.
Get my rifle, would ya?"
And he'd write hate mail.
He used to write the president.
Really? He used to write hate mail to the president?
He'd write the president hate mail.
And our trick was, my mom would say,
"Alright, you kids mail it."
And of course we weren't ever supposed to mail it.
You were supposed to just give it to her.
And one time my brother mailed it and the FBI
or whoever that group is, CIA, I don't know.
[Andy] Secret Service.
Secret Service, thank you Andy.
Andy's been visited by them.
Very good.
You were originally going to be in the Secret Service,
weren't you?
I was. Now I'm just here to enrich your word palette.
Thank you, thank you very much.
So, um,
so they come to the house and we're all thinking,
"Good, take him," you know?
(laughing)
Yeah. Here's the knife he was gonna use.
You're not trying to hide him?
No, we went "go, take him,"
"and he's going to kill a lot of other people, too!"
Could you get him out of here by Friday
so we could watch what we want on the weekends.
(laughing)
Turn Gunsmoke on, that's a good show!
Oh, jeez.
Yeah. Wow.
Well, you know, that's the kind of your parents
your dad ran the TV set.
When I was growing up.
I don't know about you.
We weren't allowed to watch TV on a school night.
Oh, you weren't?
Which was crazy, but we would watch it anyway.
And then our dad drove this beat up station wagon
that made a whistling sound
and we could hear the whistling sound.
So we would turn off the TV and run to different rooms
and pick up like books.
And my dad would come in and he'd feel
for static electricity on the front of it.
He's, yeah,
He's like Colombo, you know?
And he would feel for static electricity,
and then we would all be busted. And so...
What'd you get-
What kind of, what, what would happen?
Like if you got busted, what was your punishment?
Oh, they weren't good at it.
Sometimes they would, they always want it to pretend
that they were going to like
Oh, we're going to get the belt out.
And they were those people that just couldn't quite do it.
So they never actually hit you
No, your punishment was to continue living in the family.
Exactly, 'cause that's the worst part, isn't it?
Yeah. And you know what the worst part is about
families is when your best friend comes over
and you're leaving the house and they go
"your parents are so great."
Why?
(laughing) What are you talking about?
You're no longer my friend.
But you know, it's just you know
families are all wacked out.
Everybody tries to put on a good show,
but it's all Wackville.