>> Neil: AT MOST POLITICAL
CAMPAIGN SELL TECHIE T-SHIRTS
AND NOBODY WANTS.
WHAT DOES THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN
CELL?
AN ATTITUDE IN THE FORM OF
RECYCLABLE PLASTIC STRAWS.
SINCE THE CAMPAIGN TWEETED
MAKING STRAWS GREAT AGAIN, THE
FIRST BATCH OF 140,000 SOLD OUT,
THAT'S 200 GRAND IN SALES.
YOU CAN CALL THIS SILLY OR MEAN
BUT IT'S PRETTY HILARIOUS.
THE TRUMP STRAW TARGETS KEY
LEGAL WEAKNESSES AND MISPLACED
PRIORITIES AND POKES THEM RIGHT
IN THE EYES.
THAT'S MORE PROOF OF HOW
LIBERALS TRY TO DISTRACT US FROM
THE HARM THEY'VE DONE TO OUR
CITIES, LAW ENFORCEMENT, JOB
MARKETS AND OUR BORDER.
MAYBE NO ONE WILL NOTICE WHAT
THEY DID TO THE HUMANS OF
DOWNTOWN L.A. AND OTHER
DEMOCRATIC IF THEY SAVE THE
TURTLE FROM A STRAW.
AN ACTUAL HEADLINE SAID SOMEDAY,
BUT TOLD HER SO MIKE TURTLE MAY
END UP WITH THE TRUMP BRANDED
STRAW AND ITS KNOWS.
SO TRUMP SAW THIS ABSURD CRUSADE
AS THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY FOR
THE NEW REPUBLICAN PARTY, ONE
THAT FINALLY UNDERSTANDS THE
POWER OF FUN AND THE MUSCLE OF
MOCKERY.
ALONG THE TURF, CAN TURF SOLELY
OWNED BY THE SCRIPT OF THE LEFT,
THE LEFT WHOSE SHRIEK LIKE NOSY
NEIGHBORS ON THE RIGHT WHO ARE
LAUGHING OUT LOUD.
IT'S A SOGGY REPLACEMENT FOR
SOMETHING THAT WORK JUST FINE.
HOW FUNNY IS THAT THAT THE STRAW
SOCKS?
THEY EVEN SUCK AT SUCKING.
>> I HAVE TO SAY THAT TRUMP
MIGHT BE THE FIRST PRESIDENT --
TRUMP IS THE FIRST PRESIDENT IN
HISTORY TO GALVANIZE TROLLING
FOR FUN AND PROFIT.
>> Dana: SO THE CAMPAIGN
MANAGER FOR TRUMP 2020, BRAD
PARSCALE TWEETED LAST WEEK THAT
HE IS SO OVER A PAPER STRAWS,
ASKED TAG LIBERAL PROGRESS.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THEY WOULD
DO TO YOU AT THE ECONOMY AS
WELL, SQUEEZE IT UNTIL IT
DOESN'T WORK.
THEN THEY START SELLING REAL
STRAWS TO RAISE TONS OF MONEY
AND THIS IS THE REACTION.
WHAT OTHER THINGS SHOULD THEY
SELL?
LAWN DARTS.
I WANT EVERYONE TO LISTEN
BECAUSE I WILL GIVE
PRESIDENT TRUMP SOME CREDIT.
I THINK HE'S GENIUS TO GET
PEOPLE TO SEPARATE THEMSELVES
FROM THEIR MONEY.
SO FIRST WE ARE GOING TO TAKE
YOUR GUNS AND NOW WE ARE GOING
TO TAKE YOUR STRAWS AND THEN YOU
CAN MOCK THE LIBERALS.
BUT GO RIGHT AHEAD.
TO ME I JUST THINK THE BIBLE
SAYS WE SHOULD BE GOOD STEWARDS
OF THE EARTH.
BUT NOW, DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO
THAT, JUST GO AHEAD AND DO
WHATEVER YOU WANT.
>> Jesse: WHAT WAS THE BIBLE
PAINTED
PRINTED ON?
>> Juan: PAPER.
>> Jesse: THOSE POOR TREES.
>> I'M GOING TO HAVE TO AGREE,
WE WILL EVENTUALLY PHASE OUT
PLASTIC STRAWS AND HERE IS WHY.
THEY ARE THAT IN THE TOP TEN
MOST POLLUTED ITEMS ON THE
WORLD'S BEACHES.
THEY CLOG UP THE STREAMS AND THE
WATERWAYS AND THE LAKES AND THE
RIVERS AND THE OCEANS BECAUSE
THEY ARE SO THIN THEY DON'T GET
COLLECTED UP.
SO I WANT TO BODY SURF WITHOUT
STRAWS AND TAN WITHOUT STRAWS
AND I KNOW YOU DO TOO.
I WANT TO EAT THE FISH BEFORE
THEY DIE.
I WANT TO KILL THE FISH, BUT I
THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE ON THIS
THAT PAPER STRAWS ARE BETTER FOR
THE ENVIRONMENT.
AND THEY DON'T DISINTEGRATE.
HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO SET UP
AN ICE COFFEE?
AN HOUR?
YOU SIP IT AND IT'S OVER.
>> THEY DON'T WORK.
THEY TRY TO GIVE YOU METAL
STRAWS, THEY CHIP YOUR TEETH.
SO UNLESS MEDICARE FOR ALL --
UNLESS MEDICARE FOR ALL -- >>
LET ME -- LET ME TALK TO YOU
ABOUT THE PRESIDENT RESPONDING.
>> President Trump: I DO THINK
WE HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS IN
PLASTIC STRAWS.
YOU KNOW IT'S INTERESTING ABOUT
PLASTIC STRAWS?
SO YOU HAVE A LITTLE STRAW.
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE PLATES AND
THE REPRESENT EVERYTHING ELSE
THAT ARE MUCH BIGGER AND THEY
ARE MADE OF THE SAME MATERIAL?
SO THE STRAWS ARE INTERESTING.
EVERYBODY FOCUSES ON THE STRAWS
BUT THERE ARE A LOT OF OTHER
THINGS TO FOCUS ON BUT IT'S AN
INTERESTING.
>> YOU KNOW, THEY ARE PAPER.
HIS HYPOCRISY ALL AROUND.
>> IT IS.
I LOVE THE LIBERAL LUNACY UNITY,
AND THAT'S NOT JUST THE A STENCH
OF SANCTIMONIOUS -- WHEN YOU ARE
WALKING AROUND.
WHAT MIGHT BE A BIGGER PROBLEM
THAN PLASTIC STRAWS?
I DON'T KNOW.
CIGARETTE BUTTS, BEER CANS.
>> Jesse: YOU ARE TURNING INTO
A LIBERAL.
>> WE CAN DO IT HERE, TOO.
>> YES WE ARE.
>> IN THIS STRAW IS FULLY
INTACT.
JUST SAY, CAN'T BELIEVE.
I'M GOING ON VACATION.
I DON'T WANT ALL THAT JUNK ON
THE BEACH.
WE CAN SELL EVERYTHING.
HE SAYS -- OF >> Jesse: I LOVE
PLASTIC.