This mom says she hates motherhood let's find out why.
hello child free friends so the title of this video is i hate motherhood and just because i'm
saying that i hate motherhood doesn't mean that i don't love my children i absolutely adore my
children she has really pretty blue eyes i just noticed that as she's starting to talk i'm so
glad that she said that while she hates motherhood she still really loves her children because i'm
sure that's probably a mutual feeling among other parents being a mom especially a new mom your kids
kind of push you to evolve past the person that you are the person that you could be and that
puts you in a very uncomfortable position like any moment of growth so that's the only reason
why i say that i hate motherhood it's the same reasons why i love it when you don't have kids you
can still grow as a person but i almost feel like maybe if you're just like having a day and you're
not feeling that you want to be around people and it's driving you crazy you can just kind of
go off into your own space and you're not around a bunch of little people that need you to be on
and provide for them one of the first reasons why i don't like it is because it really teaches you
that you need to be present and very aware in the moment with your kids so there's moments
where i'm just like i'm thinking i'm thinking what i have to do tomorrow i'm planning my week
um i start getting ahead of myself and as soon as i start doing that i see the kids start kind
of acting up uh they'll start kind of tugging at my leg or they'll start like calling my name
a thousand times or they'll start crying and it's their way of communicating to me like mom
you know we need you to be present right now we need you to like play with us or pay attention
to us that would be so hard it's like constant interruptions all day every day all the time
i honestly don't know how people do that how do you just constantly have patience for that
and how do you get anything done hearing her talk makes me think oh my goodness this would
be so frustrating and i could see that being extremely irritating maybe not irritating but
it would be irritating let's be honest it would be irritating for me and most of the
time i can you know i can stop whatever i'm doing i can stop whatever i'm thinking and i
can spend time with them and that's the most important thing that i have to do especially
as a stay-at-home mom where it's really my my only job being present is one of the biggest
things i say it's number one because as soon as there's lack of presence the day is kind of like
all messed up the kids are crazy i get frustrated and then it kind of like escalates quickly
to getting worse if i don't bring myself into the moment i think it takes a lot of humility and
bravery to admit things like that because people don't like to admit that they're struggling with
things but for her to make a video about the fact that she's struggling as a mom i think is really
brave and i think it's very commendable that she is able to be honest about it the second thing
is you know which it's not really hard but you always have to be willing to change adapt and
be very flexible with your kids they're not the same humans every single day one day they
wake up super happy and then the next day i don't know they wake up not as happy you're very grumpy
and you kind of have to like go with it you know humans are great at adapting but if
you're scared of change then it's not going to be fun for you if you're a creature of a habit
this would not be easy at all because your kids are too completely different individuals than our
minds are too completely individual than i am so i kind of have to work with them and what they want
sometimes what i want in a day is not really what they want i can't imagine how challenging
this would be another one is teaches me how to be patient and i'm not so much patient with
them because you have no choice but to be patient with your kids um when you're teaching them things
like potty training or teaching them how to eat or just you know you have to repeat something several
times but mainly patience with myself when i think of who i am the image that comes into my head
is who i used to be and i'm not who i used to be anymore i don't have i don't like the same things
i don't want the same things is that a thing where you're changing but you don't know that
you're changing and you wake up one day and you're just like oh wait this is a thing i used to really
like or enjoy and that's not me anymore it almost sounds like you have to re-get to know yourself
as a person even though maybe that's strange because you're you but you don't always recognize
the changes that are happening within you but i don't really know where i stand so you know what
i have a hard time with is being patient with who i am and you know where i'm going and you know i
kind of since i'm trying to be present i just see myself as a mom with two kids i don't i don't see
myself as like a human who has goals and dreams i don't see myself there yet because i'm not there
yet is that when parents say that they kind of almost lose their identity especially moms who
are stay-at-home moms i feel like i tend to be a bit of an impatient person i've asked my husband
this he doesn't think i'm really impatient so maybe it's more that i'm impatient with myself
rather than other people i just kind of thought of that as i was watching this patience with yourself
i like that i could be a little more patient with myself and i have to be patient with myself and my
body i don't my body is not the same as before i had kids and that's okay i have to like love and
accept what is for what it is i actually did this video yesterday but i filmed it in a 4k
thing and i wasn't able to upload it so here i am 6am doing it again she's filming a video at
6am i've never filmed a video at six a.m i'm not awake enough to film a video at 6 00 a.m
oh man she's a trooper finding me time i hate that i don't have more time to myself because
before my kids i used to love spending time with myself it was all about me you know obviously but
you know with kids especially little ones i have an 11 month old and then a two-year-old you know
i can't really pee by myself shower by myself um right now i'm here doing this video because
one baby my toddler is sleeping and my baby i haven't hypnotized with the tv i know that's bad
but i hypnotized him so i can do this so but other than that i don't really get any time to myself
i do not know how people can get through life and not have time for themselves and maybe this is
because i am very very much an introverted person and the idea of literally never having a moment to
myself where i can't go shower or get ready for my day or go use the toilet by myself is just like i
can't even wrap my mind around it it literally sounds terrible to me i'm not equating cats to
being the same thing as kids but there are times when my cats need attention and i'm just like
i don't even feel like i have anything inside of me to sit here and pet you for 10 minutes and
that's a cat don't know how i could do that with kids i will say that is a very selfless part of
being a parent where you put your own needs aside to a point because i feel like you still obviously
have to take care of yourself as a parent because how can you be a good parent if you never take
care of yourself i enjoy being by myself and my own company a lot and so to have kids around 24
7 where you would never hardly have a moment to yourself sounds extremely extremely draining to me
if i don't kind of like force time on myself and i get really frustrated and very like stuck in the
moment yeah yeah totally don't blink so before i had time to myself not have to make it but
i'm still having trouble making it because if i have to put myself before my kids most likely i'm
not gonna do it but you have to do it because one day my kids are gonna grow up and then it's just
gonna be me again you know if i didn't take all of these skills that being a parent teaches you for
the future then when my kids grow up i'm going to be like okay what do i do with my life now
you know who am i again and i don't want to wait 18 years to be able to answer that question so
i have to make time for myself that's insightful i'm really glad she said that because i do think
that's really important and you do hear a lot of parents say that they feel like they just
completely lose their identity and once their kids leave home they're just like well what am
i i'm a mom but my kids are gone so now what do i do with myself i used to run a business full-time
and i'm a full-time stay-at-home mom and i just talk to kids all day so my vocabulary isn't like
i don't know it's like crap right now and every time i'm near somebody like i get kind of shy
and like timid to talk to them i'm using very basic words all day so yeah the urge to want
to connect and communicate with adults is real right now oh i've never thought about that i'm
like doing the opposite all the time i'm like oh my goodness how can i go about my day and
not have to communicate with somebody and not have to speak with somebody because i just like
not having to be out in the world as much and oh man this was uh like a drastic change for me but
um our baby daddy i don't know how to say my boyfriend baby daddy whatever
he's the one that financially supports me and the kids and our entire family and that has been a
very difficult transition for me because i used to generate my own income and now you know we share
an income just for now because my main focus is the kids but that kind of bugs me too because i
can't you know if i want to like buy something for myself like do i have to ask do i just buy it you
know he always says this is our money it doesn't feel that way you know i like to make my own money
so i have trouble kind of accepting that there's some sort of satisfaction in knowing that you're
contributing to the household income and then not doing that anymore because you've
made the choice to be a stay-at-home mom would be a really big transition that would be hard
there are some moms that just straight up regret motherhood it doesn't sound like this
is how she feels but this mom right here yep she really just regrets her choice to have kids