Transcriber: Intan Samad Reviewer: David DeRuwe
I am not ready to die.
Adrenaline surged through my body, sweat rushed from my pores,
and my muscles tensed all over as I came face-to-face to Mama Bear,
all alone, deep in the woods.
I ventured out on a solo backpacking trip as a means to overcome my own fears.
I was in the midst of a divorce
and working through my part of what went wrong.
I took this trip as a means to overcome my own mental chatter.
On the third day of that trip, I came to the most dense part of the forest.
I couldn’t see around the corner on the trail.
As I glanced down, I happened to notice some fresh paw prints,
and as I continued walking, another smaller set.
As I turned the corner on the trail,
there she was, Mama Bear.
Immediately, she began charging towards me.
After my life flashed before my eyes, I knew I had a choice to make.
I knew I could play dead, but this bear was unusual.
So instead, I took a bold step forward, and I charged her back.
(Shouting)
My actions brought about something totally unexpected,
and in that moment, I learned something valuable
and something you can use.
In my work with thousands since then, I’ve taken that moment of fear
and transformed it into a system
that works for facing life’s biggest challenges.
We all have “bears” in our life.
We all have fears that keep us small and keep us stuck.
But I believe on the other side of fear is freedom.
Each and every single day, we’re facing fears at exponential rates.
Whether it’s facing a pandemic,
facing a layoff, or navigating a divorce,
our news is full of daunting stories.
Fear is part of our everyday modern life, and it’s here to stay.
This new era of uncertainty requires that we navigate fear in a whole new way.
But how?
As a business owner, I have seen “bears” show up
in the form of business owners second-guessing themselves,
getting caught up and overwhelmed,
and missing out on huge opportunities
simply because they doubt themselves due to their own fear.
Fear derails our dreams and goals.
Fear keeps us small, unable to move forward.
And when we let fear drive the steering wheel of our life,
we miss out.
But when we learn to work with our fear,
there’s absolutely nothing stopping us from living our dream life.
That’s why I built the FEAR method, so that you can live your dream life.
The FEAR method is also an acronym so that it’s easy for you to remember.
F stands for face it.
Face your fears head on. Stop denying that they exist.
Instead, accept them.
One of the most draining things we can do is deny our reality.
And when we let fear take over completely, it leaves us paralyzed,
unable to take any action.
Don’t let fear drive the steering wheel of your life.
Listen to it, learn from it, and then put it in the backseat.
It's a great teacher and an advisor, but it is not in charge.
This brings us to the E in the FEAR method
E stands for embrace curiosity.
Instead of judging your fears, get curious about them.
What are you holding onto here?
Is there a lesson you can learn from this situation?
When we choose a lens of curiosity,
it helps us shift from limitation to possibility.
It allows us to see our lives from a perspective where it’s full,
and fear is a very tiny component of that.
Life happens in the present moment.
Fear is future thinking.
And when we get lost in fear and future thinking,
we get trapped in assumptions that live only in our imagination,
and oftentimes they never even come true.
Choose to live in the present moment. Choose action that works today.
Choose a lens of curiosity.
This brings us to the A in the FEAR method.
A stands for advocate.
Life is constantly throwing us curveballs,
whether it’s facing a pandemic,
dealing with a new health diagnosis,
or navigating a difficult situation.
Any time we allow our fear to take over requires we take a step back.
We can’t let what others are telling us about our future,
throw us into a downward tailspin.
When my doctors told me I would need a 10-level spinal fusion,
I could have accepted that, but instead, I did not.
I had the surgery,
but I didn’t accept their future-limiting beliefs about my reality.
Instead, I did my research. I found an amazing physical therapist,
and I found amazing holistic, healing solutions that worked for me.
And guess what?
It worked.
I’m a constant living proof that anything, and I mean anything, is possible.
Since then, I have skydived, I have backpacked,
I have traveled the world, and I built a thriving business,
helping other business owners build their dream life
and their dream business.
This is what I mean when I say advocate.
It’s like incredible willpower.
I was constantly advocating for what I wanted and needed,
but I never gave up,
and I never let anyone tell me what is or isn’t possible for my future.
Advocate for what you want and what you need.
This brings us to the last step of the FEAR method.
Reach out.
See, facing our fears is not a journey I’d recommend you go on alone.
In fact, when we try to face our biggest fears alone,
it makes them feel that much bigger and that much stronger.
And when we try to face their fears alone,
we feel isolated as if we are the only ones facing those fears.
Find support groups, friends, family, loved ones who support you,
cheer you on, and build you up.
Share with them what’s happening in your life.
Allow them to hold you accountable to be the very best version of you.
Back in the woods,
scared and alone,
I made the choice to charge Mama Bear back
and she continued to charge towards me,
closing the gap.
After my life flashed before my eyes a second time,
I decided to charge her back one last time.
(Shouting)
She stopped,
looked at me,
hung her head,
slumped her shoulders,
and walked away.
The fear was real.
My heart was racing.
My knees were shaking.
But I faced that very real fear.
And I survived.
Follow the FEAR method: Face, Embrace, Advocate, and Reach out.
I guarantee there is no “bear” or no fear too big for you to charge head-on.
Fears will come.
They will attack out of nowhere when you least expect them to.
But when you have the FEAR method,
you will now have the confidence knowing you can face anything head on.
This new era of uncertainty is full of fear and darkness.
But on the other side of our fear is freedom.
I urge you to choose a life of freedom.
Stop playing dead,
stuck in inaction.
Instead, charge your “bear” head-on today.