Before we get the video started, I'd just like to quickly shout out to the asexual
community census. This is a survey done annually which is the largest survey of
the asexual community. It doesn't matter where you fall on the asexual spectrum,
even if you are allosexual, you can take the survey. The only requirement is
that you are older than 13 years old. I highly encourage all of you watching
this video to take the survey if it is still running when you watch this video.
So, that's all I wanted to say. I'll leave a link in the description below, and onto the video.
You probably know already that I identify as a homoromantic asexual, if
not from watching my other videos, then from the title of this video. This means
that I'm simultaneously gay and asexual, and I relate to so many things in both
of these communities. To me, they have equal weighting as part of my identity.
Asexuality is something that I have always been confident in, even when I
haven't known the word for it. But recently I've realized that I do want a
romantic relationship with a guy, and that equally is a tremendously important
part of whom I am. The words gay and asexual - to me, there's a sort of
dichotomy between them. And I think that's because of the way gay culture -
especially for gay men in particular - is very sexualized. Of course, this isn't a
negative thing, and it makes perfect sense.
What homophobes normally have a problem with is men having sex with men, but
that's not something I can relate to, and it's true that I have felt ostracized from
this community because I don't feel that way.
I don't feel sexual attraction. I realise that that's not really the whole picture.
I don't neatly fit into the gay community,
that is true. But, that's not a problem because I don't need to relate
to every single facet of being gay. Similarly, I don't need to relate to
everything in the asexual community, and that's fine. But, it's kind of amazing, I
get to be part of these two communities - the gay community and the asexual
community - and there is a lot within those communities that I can relate to,
that I do relate to. So yes, sometimes I feel like my identity is conflicting
with itself. But it's not. It's just an unfamiliar harmony. And we shouldn't
think that because we don't fit into the boxes that people have designed for us,
that we don't belong. So, I believe there's a place for all of us
no matter how ostracized or isolated or different we may feel.
of course it isn't all sunshine and roses (I meant rainbows...).
I don't want to ignore the problems, and there are
disadvantages with being asexual. I think for (allo)romantic asexuals, the main issue
comes in with that aspect - their romantic orientation. If you want to date other
asexuals, they're difficult to find. It is estimated that 1% of the population is
asexual. That's not many people, and it's not like
you're gonna run across them in the street. You have to look. And, of course
that's a problem in all spheres of the LGBT+ community, but
of course asexuals can have successful relationships with allosexuals. For me,
if I go on a date with someone, and after the first date, they don't know that I'm
asexual, the next time I see them I will sit them down and tell them straight.
It's frustrating, because it's almost like you're coming out again. There's
this person you're interested in, and you have to risk sabotaging a potential
relationship for the sake of honesty. But it is an important thing to do, because a
relationship built on dishonesty isn't going to last. If you either find another
asexual person whom you're interested in, or if you find an allosexual who is
content with accepting your asexuality, then... well the problem's solved really :)
Then you've just got all the hundreds of normal problems we face in daily life :(
And I am happy calling myself a gay ace. I am incredibly fortunate to live in a
time and a society which is open to the whole spectrum of the LGBT+ community.
That's all I wanted to say. I just wanted to have a ramble about what being a
homoromantic asexual means to me, and how I feel about it. If you enjoyed this video,
then please leave a like. I post videos every Saturday, so if you want to
see more, then feel free to subscribe. This channel has reached over 50
subscribers in the first month, which completely blew me away! :)
And your comments are always lovely to read. The goal I'm aiming for at the
moment is 100 subscribers which, yes it's double I've got the moment, but it's nice
to dream. Have a wonderful day!
… Saturday morning at the moment
Why is it going blurry every time? Focus on my face! This is the second time that I
have recorded this video. I did it yesterday,
and whilst I was editing, I realized that I was not only rambling, but I was being
overly negative...