Well, everything seemed to be going according to plan. I mean, not everything. As is often
the case when Snake and I get together, the whole stealth plan, just...yeah, we scrapped
that plan. That plan sucks. But yeah, things were... happening. More or less.
I saved the first kid.
Then I saved the second kid.
Then the game ended.
Wait, what? And credits? Why are there credits?
So this is Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes. And this is not an easy game to review. See,
because this game drops a grenade on the very foundation of the review. I mean, what? Should
I start with the gameplay, tell you how awesome it is? Or maybe the graphics, which are also
awesome? How 'bout the controls, or the design, or the music?
Awesome, awesome, awesome.
I mean, if you look at it with that standard game reviewing rubric...Ground Zeroes is like
the perfect stealth game. It's a game so good, you'll want to clear an entire weekend to
play it.
Only you won't have to.
All you need is 20 minutes.
No, when you talk about this game...you have to start by asking what your definition of
is is. Like, whatever it is...we know it's good, right? So step one. It's good. But what
is it? Like, is it a demo, for the next actual Metal Gear game? Like a teaser? Because that's
cool. It's kind of like a band releasing a single a few months before their new album
drops. You spend a couple bucks, you get a little taste of what's to come. Which...okay,
that's a good match.
It's like a single.
Only...umm...30 dollars is more than a couple bucks.
See, Ground Zeroes is a great...something. If this was just a promotional add-on to another
game, that'd be perfect. Or maybe a little digital game. Like, a ten dollar download
on Xbox Live or something. Only Ground Zeroes is none of those things. It's a retail game,
that comes on a disc, for 30 dollars...that you can beat in ten minutes. Lasts two hours
max.
I mean, what do you even say about...such a confused product? Because it's an entirely
subjective matter. Only you can decide if...whatever this is...is actually worth the price.
Fortunately, when it comes to the gameplay...those questions are a lot simpler. Because Ground
Zeroes is an awesome stealth game. You're dropped into this military base, prison facility...thing.
And your mission is simple. Find and extract...two young captives. And the coolest part is...you
can literally go about it however you want. Ground Zeroes may be extremely limited in
terms of its length, but...when it comes to the gameplay?
There are no limitations.
See, this might sound weird, but...Ground Zeroes kind of reminds me of Metroid, in a
way. The game, just...starts. All you know is that, you have two captives to rescue.
You don't know where they are, or where to go...in fact, to find the second captive,
you actually have to listen to audio recordings for clues, to piece together where she might
be. So even though it's not a huge place...it can be a little overwhelming at first.
And that's a pretty cool feeling.
The gameplay itself is pretty much what you'd expect from Metal Gear. Crouch down, sneak
around, hide in the grass...knock people out from behind. And as you'd expect, it all controls
very well. But there are also some noticeable differences here. First off, Snake seems more
nimble. He just moves a lot more smoothly than before. And with that comes much more
intelligent enemies. Or at least...enemies with better vision.
They can see everything.
Which is where the game's binoculars come into play. It's a very good idea to use them
to always scout ahead, before making a move. I mean, I didn't, but...I am also, not a pussy.
So it plays great, it looks great...but only for 20 minutes. Or however long it takes you
to complete the mission. Point is, it won't take long. And I mean, to the game's credit,
you can unlock a couple side missions, but...you're always in the same place. So it still feels
a little same-y. And you can replay the missions to improve your scores, but...after a while,
the shortness and sameness...it kind of takes it toll.
But still, Ground Zeroes is an awesome...something.
Whether or not it's an awesome purchase...well, that's up to you. Diehard Metal Gear fans,
desperate for a taste of the upcoming game...they'll spend the money without batting an eye. And
they'll be rewarded with some fantastic stealth gameplay. Emphasis on "some." But for everyone
else? Just wait for the real thing.
It's be, like, several times bigger...and only twice the price.