-♪ When I look out my window ♪
♪ I see a birdbath A birdbath ♪
♪ A birdbath with birdseed ♪
♪ With some birdseed ♪
♪ I said, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh... ♪
♪♪
-I think we can all agree that the absolute worst thing
about this season is the lack of spring-themed music.
Well, that may be over thanks to the newest album
by my favorite songwriting duo, Garth and Kat.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Over here. Sorry. -Sorry.
-Sorry. -Sorry.
-Sorry. -Sorry about that.
-Why are you coming -- -Sorry.
-I'm sorry. -You've been here --
-Sorry we're late. -We went on the other side.
-I'm sorry we're late. -Sorry.
-You guys, you said you were going to be on time tonight.
Why are you late again? -Well, we got distracted.
Okay. You know that that board game, Battleship?
-Yes.
-Did you know they're making it into a movie?
-Yes, I knew that.
-Okay. Well, we didn't know that,
so we've been sitting on our couch
for the past three hours like this.
-That is a terrible excuse for being late.
But at least you're here.
Now, I hear you have a new album dedicated just to spring.
-Do we? We do, right? -Yes, we do.
-Okay...
-Well, I think we'd all love to hear a song.
-With pleasure. -All right.
-All right. Our first song that we wrote
is called "Flower Alert." -"Flower Alert."
And here we go.
-♪ When I look out my window ♪
♪ I see a birdbath A birdbath ♪
♪ A birdbath with birdseed ♪
♪ With some birdseed ♪
♪ I said, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I saw some birdseed ♪
♪ Well, shut the gates Shut the door ♪
♪ Shut everything outside It's time to mow the lawn ♪
♪ Yes, sir No way ♪
-All right, all right, stop, stop, that --
That is not -- [ Cheers and applause ]
That was not a song. -Thank you.
-Are you guys seriously not prepared again?
-Okay, first of all, I'm a woman.
People are like, "guys, guys..." -I know, I'm the guy.
-You can tell by my hair.
-Second of all, we are totally prepared.
-You are prepared? -Yes.
-Okay, then quick, what's the name of your album?
-"Garth and Kat Live at Every Auditorium Around.
Get Your Tickets Now. It's Live."
-I'm sorry. [ Laughter ]
The title of your album is called
"Garth and Kat Live at Every Auditorium..."
-"In the World." -"In the World."
-"Get Your Tickets Now. It's Live"?
-Yeah, uh-huh.
Yeah.
-That's the title? -That's the title.
-We named it after our grandma. -What?
-Because she always wanted us to play in front of an audience
who smiled. -All right, I got it.
Guys...
-You know what? Let us just get to the next one.
-Yeah, great.
-We really have to get to the grocery store.
We need beans like yesterday. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Okay.
-Okay. Ready? -Yeah.
-This song is called...
-"Picnic Showers"!
[ Laughter ]
-♪ Oh, it's gonna rain ♪
♪ Rain, rain Rain ♪
♪ Again ♪
♪ Again and again ♪
♪ But I made a promise I made a promise ♪
♪ To get a U-M-B-E-R-E ♪
-♪ Stop it a minute ♪
♪ We want it ♪
♪ I'm afraid of thunder ♪
♪ But I don't mind lightning ♪
-I'm sorry, you guys,
there's just no way that's a real song.
-That's absolutely a real song.
-It's not a real song. -It's absolutely a real song.
You want to -- This is our sheet music.
-All right. This is not sheet music.
This is a picture of Margaret Thatcher's head
photoshopped on a woman in a bikini.
-Isn't it funny?
We laughed for two weeks straight.
-It was more like 13 days.
-Oh, right, 'cause of the Sunday.
-All right, you know what? I just think we're out of time.
-No, please, sir, please! -No, please,
please, sir, please. We won't take it personally!
-Please!
-We came all the way from Sleepy Hollow!
-It's so creepy and dark in the trees.
-They're like, "Duh..."
-Guys, I'm sorry. I don't know.
I just don't know if we have time.
-Come on, one more, please!
-Please, the long song is only an hour.
-In that case, no.
-Come on. We'll do the short version.
45 minutes to an hour. -No.
-Okay. We'll do the really, really short version.
It's just ten seconds with an option of lasting
up to an over an hour. -Do the ten second version.
-Okay, fine! -Ugh!
-Okay, and this one even has music to it, okay?
[ Rock music playing ]
-Hey, this sounds pretty good.
-♪ Rock 'n roll bunny, Rock 'n roll robin ♪
♪ Sunshine rockin' in the city ♪
-I'm so proud of you guys. [ Music stops ]
-♪ And you know the piano player ♪
♪ Forgot his hat again ♪
♪ I said, the piano player ♪
♪ Told him ♪
♪ He missed the time ♪
♪ To learn the facts and the chords ♪
♪ But springtime brought some sneezes ♪
♪ Some sneezes... ♪ -That's it.
Garth and Kat, everyone.
-♪ Some sneezes, some sneezes ♪ [ Cheers and applause ]
-In honor of Mother's Day, I would like to take this time
to say something to my own mother.
Mom, I know I don't say this often enough,
but I just wanted to let you know
that Garth and Kat are here.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Sorry, sorry, sorry.
-We're here, we're here, we're here.
-All right. -Sorry, we're here.
-I'm all right. I'm good.
-We're sorry. We're sorry. -Sorry, sorry, sorry.
-We know, we know, we're sorry. -We know. Sorry.
-No, it's okay. You guys aren't even late.
-Oh! I mean, I don't know how many times we can
apologize to you, sir. -Yeah, sir.
-All right, look, you're fine now.
Now, Garth and Kat, I understand you have
a whole new album of Mother's Day music.
-Dude, yes!
We worked really hard on these songs
and they are really high quality.
-Well, that's great.
I'm really glad to hear you're prepared this time.
-Are we ever! -So prepared. Yeah.
-And we are really excited to sing for and near you.
-And this first one is called "Mom, Uh-huh...
-...You're the Bomb."
-That sounds great. Let's hear it.
-You ready? -Yeah.
-We'll just count off. -We can just start whenever.
-Start whenever you want. -Whenever you want.
Like, 1, 2, 3...
-♪ And you taught me how to read ♪
♪ And you taught me how to read ♪
♪ But you forgot one word One word ♪
♪ One word, two words, one word ♪
♪ Conniption... ♪
♪ Conniption ♪
♪ Why didn't you tell me? ♪
♪ Conniption ♪
♪ Conniption ♪ -Okay, I'm sorry,
I got to stop you. I, uh...
I hate to stop you guys,
but you haven't been here in 12 months.
-Okay.
-And you had a full year to work on this,
and that's what you sing? That was terrible.
-Ter-- Hey! -Hey!
[ Laughter ]
-That was a song --
song about being taught by your mother
who forgot to teach you the word "conniption."
That was really bad. And let me just tell you.
There are -- This is Mother's Day.
There are millions of moms out there listening,
and I feel like you just put no effort into this.
-No effort? Come on! -Okay,
listen to this next song and see if you think there's no effort.
Okay? Because it's based on my very complicated
relationship with my mother.
And it's called...
-"There's Every Time for Lovers,
But There's No Time For the [indistinct] Mothers.
You Know What?
Because I Got a Good Feeling About Everything They Say,
But No One's Gonna Tell You the Difference."
-Wait, all right. That's the title?
-That's the title. -That's it, yeah.
-Yeah, yeah. We were gonna go with...
-"Twist-Away Time."
-But in the end we went with...
-"Oh, Mothers..."
[ Speaking Indistinctly ]
...Same People as Always.
But there's No -- Because It's a Real Thing"!
-A real one! -A real one!
[ Laughter ]
[ Both stammering ] "You Know It!"
-That's too long a title for a song.
-That's what we thought too. -That's what we thought too,
but, you know what, let's just try,
'cause, Mom, this one's for you.
-♪ Oh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ My mom ♪
♪ Ooh, there's Venezuela ♪
♪ And a bunch of other countries like Italy ♪
♪ And I fly there Fly there ♪
♪ Fly there on time ♪
♪ On time ♪
♪ Don't be late, late, late Don't be late ♪
♪ Because we're gonna complain ♪
♪ Complain, complain ♪
♪ And we'll write a letter to every -- ♪
-Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
I counted on you guys. -You did?
-What? Why? -I counted on you,
and you're just not -- you're not prepared.
You have to go. -What -- please!
-Please, oh, my, God! -Please! Please!
Please, please, please, please!
-We came all the way from the White House.
-You guys came -- you came all the way here from Washington DC?
-What? -Oh, I see, I see. No, no, no.
We came from
A different thing. -You have to go.
-No, please! -Oh, my God!
This is truly important to me.
Please, I'll let you sleep with my wife.
-Wait. Is that you?
-Oh, no. -No, no, no, no.
No, we're just -- we're just friends.
-Yeah.
-All right, you guys gotta go. Bye.
-No, no.
-Please, let us sing one more song.
-Infinity more. -Please, infinity plus one.
-No, you can sing one more. -Yay!
Okay, one more, okay.
You're really gonna love this one.
We even have music.
-That we play ourselves. -Okay, great.
-Here we go.
-This one's called "Mom's Jam." Hit it.
[ Jazzy music playing ]
♪♪
-Well -- I mean, this is fantastic.
♪ Thank you for taking me to the dances all the time ♪
-I fell for it again! -♪ All the time ♪
Garth and Kat, everybody. [ Cheers and applause ]
-Tonight marks the fifth night of Hanukkah.
And here to pitch us on their idea of a great last-minute
Hanukkah gift, please welcome celebrated songwriters
Garth and Kat.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-I'm so sorry we're late.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry. -Sorry.
So sorry about that. So sorry.
-It took me longer than usual to manscape, so I'm so sorry.
-And I was taking down our Christmas tree.
-Wait. Taking down? Christmas is a week away.
-No, I wasn't taking it down like that.
I was like taking it
You don't look right!"
-Yeah, it deserved it. -It really did.
-Okay. So, I understand you have a brand-new Hanukkah album?
-Yep. -Yep, we sure do.
-Sure do, yep.
-Okay, well, I'm really excited to hear
some of your new Hanukkah songs.
What's the name of the album?
-The name of the album? -Thanks for asking.
-It's called...
-"Hanukkah is One of the Only Things
That You're Sure to Know, and Don't We All?"
[ Laughter ]
-Okay, you have actually written an album, right?
-Yeah! -Yeah!
And guess what? It rocks.
-Yeah, it rocks the Jews all night long.
[ Laughter ]
And here's a song from it. This one's called
"Simon's Dreidel." -"Simon's Dreidel."
-Song is cool. -It's pretty cool,
I have to say. You ready? -Okay.
-♪ Oh-oh oh ♪
♪ Oh-oh oh ♪
♪ They had an idea ♪
♪ An idea ♪
♪ An idea for everyone ♪
♪ And they told it as a secret ♪
♪ They told it as a secret ♪
[ Singing indistinctly ] -Hang on --
Hang on, guys, guys. That...
That does not sound like a written song.
-Sir, don't -- -What? Sir, please, come on.
-Sir, don't. -Don't do that.
We're begging you. -We have sung that song
for the past four months on our national tour.
-Yeah, we were in Allentown, Wilkes-Barre...
-Pennsylvania. -Pittsburgh.
-Harrisburg. -Wait.
-I thought you said it was a national tour.
These are all places in Pennsylvania.
-Well, we also do Hawaii. -Yes.
We do one night in Hawaii and then one night in Pennsylvania.
Then we go back to Hawaii. -Back...
-Then we go back to -- It's -- ooh!
-It's just, like -- it's exhausting.
-It's so exhausting.
But our next song is really good.
I think you're gonna like this one.
-This one's called...
-"Every Time You Want to Know the Real, Real Truth,
the Best Thing to Do is Ask Yourself,
'Cause? What?' [ Laughter ]
Who knows?'"
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Wait -- -Yep?
-Can you say it again? What is it?
-Yeah.
-"If You Ever Want to Know the Whole Truth,
Well, You Better Ask Yourself,
'Cause Who Knows?"
-It's an old song. -All right, I got it.
-It's an old one. Here we go. Ready?
-♪ Oh, there was a dreidel I saw in the snow ♪
♪ And the snow was in a pile ♪
♪ The snow was in a pile of mud, pile of mud ♪
♪ Dig through the mud again with a shovel ♪
-All right. -♪ In Belgium ♪
-Stop! Stop! Stop!
You clearly have not written anything.
I don't think there's an album at all.
-Oh, you don't think so, huh? -Okay, yeah?
Well, I guess I'll just show you this.
-What's that? -What do you call this?
-I call that "The Hunger Games" soundtrack.
You guys got to go. -No, please, please.
-Come on! Please! -We came all the way
from the Creation Museum. -Yeah.
Moses had a dinosaur. Did you know that?
-Did you know that?
-Okay, you guys have ruined Hanukkah,
and you've wasted my time. You have to go.
-Oh, please. -No, no. Please.
Please, we mean it for real. -Yes, we have one song.
-We prepared it and everything.
-Yes, it has music, yes. We're ready to go.
-And it's very funky. -Yep.
-It's called "Menorah in the Window."
-Yep. Here we go. Ready? Hit it.
-Very funky.
[ R&B introduction plays ]
-♪ Hanukkah is just a night ♪
♪ But our joy will last all year ♪
-Okay, now, this sounds like a real song.
-♪ My uncle, I had a couple of uncles with gray, gray hair ♪
♪ A couple of uncles with gray, gray hair ♪
♪ And they celebrate, celebrate, celebrate ♪
♪ Celebrate with everyone ♪
-Garth and Kat, everybody!
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪