Tonight, I'm reviewing a game that hasn't even been released yet.
It's a very highly anticipated game.
This is a real scoop for us, Resident Evil six.
Enjoy.
Hey, Conan O'Brien here with clueless gamer and this one is exciting.
CAPCOM has seen some of my reviews, for some reason they're impressed,
they think I know what I'm talking about.
So they've asked me to review Resident Evil six.
Highly anticipated.
They're coming out with the demo on September eighteenth.
And they're giving me, the first look.
And let's bring my friend in, Aaron Blaire.
Hey Blaire.
Hello good to see you.
Tell us a little bit about the world of Resident Evil.
This is the sixth one, so kind of a long story.
But basically, at the Umbrella corporation, I created ((the thing)) called the T virus.
In secret.
- You lost me. - Okay.
I'm done. I don't know what you're talking about.
Um the virus that turns people into zombies.
Oh! Zombies.
That was Resident Evil one.
A company was making a virus that turns people into zombies.
Terrible idea.
And then suddenly it's just happens to get loose.
I never understand that.
What are you doing?
Working on something in if it- if it's exposed with a strange humanity.
as long as it's doesn't get out, it should be okay. Achoo!
Okay we're gonna start the game now.
What happens first?
It's just gonna give us a little bit of back story.
Little bit of back story.
Here we go.
Is that me?
Yeah that's you.
I'm hot.
So basically what happen is, the president of United States going to blew the lid off
the whole government cover up that the Umbrella Corporation created zombies.
And then he got turned into a zombie.
- So the president is a zombie? - Yeah, He's a zombie.
How many people in the country are zombies?
That will determined weather he's reelected.
Mister president!
Oh.
That was incredibly violent.
Wait. I just saved her life right?
Yes.
You'd think she'll sleep with me.
Okay. So we're in a room now.
Look at this.
I'm getting really close to make sure what she does.
This point in real life,
woman gonna say something.
Get away from me.
It's not funny Conan.
Leave me alone I have a boyfriend.
Wow alright.
I wanna shoot something.
- What's that? - What was that?
Only one way to find out.
Up. Blocked there.
Great. There's a hoarder living here.
I can't pass anything.
I can't get over. Chairs in way.
Cool guy with gun, blocked by small folding chairs.
At the end zombie has died of natural causes by now.
Up. Something behind this door.
This better be a zombie.
This better be...a freaking zombie.
Ah.
Wait don't shoot.
Oh, look. It's our producer Jeff Ross.
That's the...the big threat.
He's that a well ((predator)) Jewish man.
who produces a television.
Is in the kitchen coffin.
That's the big threat.
We got a show to do.
We having trouble booking this second guest.
This is me, Shut up! Shut up Jeff! Shut up!
Listen to me.
You can't ((wait)) with Taylor Lautner, you can't!
Hm. (( ))
Yes. Trust me.
Okay it's good.
Let's get some soup.
So it's time to fight zombies?
Yeah.
- What- how do I do that? - Let's do it.
Okay this is super cool, because uh- this is the demo that
never seen in the internet before. And-
No one on the internet has seen this yet.
The irony being- I'm the first to play this.
Yeah I'm the least qualified. I don't know what I'm doing and I really don't...care.
So (( )) you.
So okay. Right on this corner, are gonna be three zombies.
What do I do?
Basically you gotta sneak up behind one of them with this, and then use the right trigger.
And try to- just keep kickin' 'em.
I beat it-
Yes!
Argh!
Uh!
- Oh that was satisfying! - Awesome
These aren't even zo- these are pinatas!
Urgh! Yes!
Oh man!
That was fantastic.
Nice.
Don't.
Oh it's (( ))
Oh wait, now she said ((good job)).
Oh.
Hold the red button, and press one of the top one.
Oh oh sorry!
I ((pick)) a complimenter and I almost kicked her.
- No- you got a knife? - I didn't mean pull out-
What are you doing?
All I'm try to do is compliment a beautiful girl.
- Good work - Look at her. She's looking at me like-
Nice.
Good work.
- We're Canadian. - I appreciate it.
Good work.
Nice.
I appreciate it.
Nice.
Good work.
Look at her looking at me.
Good work.
- Good work - I appreciate it.
Yeah. Okay I just wanna (( )).
Go.
Wow!
What's do they eat? Sushi?
That is sushi.
Some kind of crostini.
Wine.
Guys hungry.
Ah. I see a zombie up there.
- Yeah. - Time to Kill
- Got him! - Oh!
- Got him! - Nice
Got him!!
- That was awesome - Wait he's a-
Argh!
She's gotta be impressed right?
I know I did not equip myself very well for while there, but I got it together,
and I totally blew that zombie away.
Good work.
- This is such a lame move - I appreciate it
I'm such a cool guy.
It's been a little- little less time- leather jacket shopping
and just come up with another move.
A ah.
Oh God. They're biting you.
Oh nice. Oh my God.
Do you see what I just did?
I shot like fifty times.
That was aweso-
Get out of there. Get out of-
Take over for a bit, I can't handle it.
I can't- I can't handle it.
Okay it's a good-
Oh wait this part is-
Argh!
Just gotta shoot. Just shoot though. Right trigger.
Just shoot them in the head.
Keep shooting.
Yeah let's work together, I'll just-
This is not the right way to play this.
Shut up.
Shut up help me.
Shut up!
Do something!
- We're ran out of bullets. I don't know what to do! - No more bullets?
- Survival knife. - Survival knife. Yeah
Oh just-
Oh yeah. Oh.
Yeah! I cut his head off!
I cut his freaking head off.
You can play three different themes in this games.
So now we're Jake.
The thing about Jake is, his blood contains the secret...
to solving the C virus.
So far, is this Hollywood telling the same old story.
Argh! Some kind of pastas coming out of his- arm.
Why is he turning into a bug?
Oh God. Oh!
He's got the girl.
Oh no one touches her. She's mine!
Wow!
You're good at this.
Argh! Hahaha.
Oh!
What the hell was that?
He has a lobster arm.
Yeah.
All of us gotta need to feed them now is tartar sauce.
Yeah.
That's how we defeat the lobster man.
Time to melt the butter.
Awesome dude.
Oh- those are the lizard guys.
That are new.
Basically just turn into some kind of shell fish.
It's alright.
Oh yeah!
Get him in the-
Yeah!
Uh!
- There are so many of them - Let me handle it. Let me handle it.
Merry christmas!
Urgh!
Round house.
Hell yeah.
Okay. We've played for a while, and here are my thoughts on Resident Evil six.
Great graphics.
Uh- first time I ever killed anything in the game.
That was exciting.
((Nuts and punk)). ((If I done ended like this)).
Back story way to complicated.
And zombie genre should be simple.
Okay? See zombie, kill zombie.
I don't like them turn into pasta, and then turning into shell fish, shrimp, and a lobster.
It's confusing. And it made me hungry.
So, on a scale of one to fifteen hundred...
Fourteen hundred being not so good,
but eleven hundred being fantastic.
And anything in the negative numbers being even better.
I give this a thirty five.
Look for this game, on September eighteenth.
That's when the demos coming out.
Yap.
And um...it's Resident Evil six.
I hope this help.