We all want people to listen to us when we speak.
But this is really difficult when we’re giving a talk, presentation, or sharing something
on the internet.
The problem isn’t that people are rude, easily distracted, or overwhelmed.
The problem is we’re bad at communicating.
Most of us are good at communicating in small groups with our friends and family.
But the moment we’re “on”, the moment we feel the spotlight on us, we forget all
of the rules of communication…probably because they’re unwritten rules no one teaches us.
I know this firsthand.
Back in the 1990s, I was DESTROYED in my first speech and debate competition.
I hid behind my notes, spit out a bunch of facts, and didn’t say anything that really
mattered to the people in the room.
I came in last place in my event.
But I kept at it.
Through years of speech and debate, teaching, storytelling, I’ve learned a lot about how
to speak so that others will listen.
Here are my top 10 tips.
Know your audience
The first thing I do when I prepare a talk is ask myself: Who is my audience, why are
they here, and what do they value?
If you can’t answer these questions, you run the risk of giving a talk that no one
will care about.
But when you use examples that make sense to the audience, when you dress and talk the
way they dress and talk, you open them up to hearing you out.
Highlighting shared values, things that you and the audience both care about above all
else, is the key to winning people over to your point of view.
Talk to someone who knows your audience then build a message that resonates with your audience’s
perspective.
Lead with awesome
People take seconds to decide whether or not to pay attention to you.
Instead of a slow build up, begin with a powerful question, your most interesting idea, or a
striking image.
Here’s a good example from this channel.
Everyone loves brownies.
But if I took these delicious brownies and made them look like this, would you still
eat them?
Tell a story
Before videos, powerpoints, and blogs, humans shared stories.
Stories take complex information and make it easy to understand.
If you’re thinking “I’m not a good storyteller”, that’s a lie!
You’re a great storyteller, you do it all the time with your friends and family.
You just forget to do it or try too hard when you’re talking publicly.
Start your talk with a personal story related to your overall message and tie back to it
at the end.
If you can’t think of a story to tell, use these prompts:
Want some story inspiration?
Go see a live Moth event, listen to The Story Collider podcast, and read TED Talks.
Make it emotional
We like to think that we’re logical beings who think like scientists looking for truth.
But the main job of our thoughts is to defend what we’re feeling.
We don’t have an internal scientist, we have a lawyer who creates arguments that protect
an emotional client.
If your talk isn’t making someone feel something, it isn’t going to do much to change their
thinking either.
Psychologist Jonathan Haidt describes it like this: “A dog’s tail wags to communicate.
You can’t make a dog happy by forcibly wagging its tail.
And you can’t change people’s minds by utterly refuting their arguments.”
Emotions activate people, get them thinking, and make content viral.
If you can find a way to get your audience to feel what you’re saying, then you have
a chance at getting them to think about it too.
Bridge new information with old information
If you’re presenting on something, you probably know a lot about it.
But I might not know anything about this topic.
You have to help me learn this new information by bridging it with something I already know.
I’ll let Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson explain:
It is the pop culture scaffold on which I clad the science that we unravel…You don’t
have to teach them pop culture.
They already know who Beyonce is, what football is, who the Kardashians are.
If they come in with that, and we analyze that scaffold, and say here’s science that
can fit this and that section and the other section, you walk away not so much with an
enhanced appreciate of science but an enhanced understanding of the pop culture stuff you
already care about and realize that science is infused everywhere.
When I’m teaching someone about cognitive dissonance, I tell them their mind fights
off dangerous ideas the same way the immune system fights viruses.
That’s a lot more effective than talking about how the mind strives for consistency
between beliefs and actions.
Use everyday language
Stop using big words!
I know you think they make you sound smarter but they don’t.
Psychologist Daniel Oppenheimer studied this and discovered that simple writing sounds
smarter than complicated writing.
High school and college students often use more complicated language than they need to.
But the biggest offenders are scientists and professionals.
They often rely on complicated jargon.
Jargon is great when you’re communicating with colleagues but it alienates audiences
who are outside of your profession.
To paraphrase Einstein, if you can’t explain it without jargon, you don’t know it well
enough.
Run your talk, script, or article through a readability tool and check it’s grade
level.
The most bestselling authors all wrote an elementary or middle school grade levels.
The simpler you write, the larger your audience will be.
Only use text when you have to
People can read faster than you can talk.
If you’re reading from a powerpoint, the audience has already beat you to the end of
the slide.
Instead of text, fill your presentations with emotional images.
You should only use text when it adds value to what you’re saying or emphasizes an important
point.
Stephen Colbert’s “The Word” is a great example of this.
Every text extends on the meaning of everything he’s already said.
To learn more about this pickup a copy of Presentation Zen by Garr Reynolds.
Engage your audience
Here’s a secret teachers never tell you - lectures aren’t that effective.
They good for clarifying information and presenting new information, but what’s much more helpful
is active learning, collaborative learning, techniques that get people to think and do
on their own.
Give your audience a way to experience your content.
Stop your talk and ask them to think about a question, then share their response to the
person next to them, and then after that get everyone to share aloud to the group.
Ask your community to help you decide what type of content they want to see next.
Start a conversation at the end of your video.
Be real
People often tell me, “What I want to say has already been done”.
I don’t care what’s already been said, written, or filmed.
It’s never been said in your voice, from your perspective, with your story.
Don’t try to be what you think people want you to be, that person already exists.
Be yourself because everything is more interesting when you are honestly being yourself.
Build value
People have a REALLY good BS radar.
We can easily figure out if someone is trying to promote themselves, their organization,
or their profession.
If your audience smells BS, they’re going to tune you out.
Give them something valuable.
A new perspective.
A helpful tip.
Connection to resources.
If you are able to do this consistently, you’ll never have to promote yourself, people will
start coming to you because you’ve already given them so much.
What are your favorite presentation, public speaking, and storytelling tips?
Let me know in the comments below!