-Thank you for coming on the show. I appreciate it.
-Thank you for having me. I'm so nervous.
-You are? -Yeah. I don't speak.
It's my first time speaking in front of people.
-Yeah, you've never -- Yeah, that's so interesting.
You've never been on a talk show?
-I've never talked on a talk show.
-Yeah. How does it feel?
-It feels really -- I feel vulnerable.
No, no. But you're doing a great job.
Isn't she talking like a person --
[ Cheers and applause ]
-I can talk.
♪♪
-Toulouse, come here. -Come here, Toulouse.
There he is. -Hi, baby.
-Hi. Hi, Toulouse.
[ Applause ]
-Is he a trained dog? -No, he just gets it.
-He just gets it. Yeah. -Yeah.
I think it's because I speak to him all the time,
and he kind of just gets it.
-I mean, look.
He knows where the camera is and everything.
-Yeah, he gets it.
-Well, he's a famous dog 'cause --
[ Laughter ]
He just found the camera.
He's like a show business dog.
-Yeah, he has a little bit of experience.
He had one modeling job, and that's it.
-Yeah. No, he really did. He had a modeling job.
-He's not like a doggy model. He's peacing out. He's over it.
-He's over -- Yeah. -It's okay.
-Bye, Toulouse. -Bye, Toulouse.
-He's leaving. Bye, buddy. Oh, he's out.
-We also have a very, very special guest here tonight
that I'm very excited. I have not met.
-My nonna. -Your nonna is here.
-Yeah, well, my whole family's here,
but she was really looking forward to meeting you.
-Hey, there's your brother.
There's your mom. There's your brother.
There's Nonna!
Hi, Frankie. Hi, Mom.
Wait, look at Nonna. How cute.
She's gorgeous. -Yes.
-Beautiful. -She's beautiful. Yeah.
-Well, she said the nicest thing.
-Yeah, I don't know if you saw my tweet,
but she mentioned
that you're the only man who she'll stay up past 11:30 for.
-That's what I'm talking about.
That's right. What I'm --
[ Cheers and applause ]
And when I told her that
I was going to take her here and to meet you, she was like,
"Oh, I got to start planning my outfit."
And I was like,
"Nonna, what do you think is going to come from this?"
And she goes, "You never know. I'm very naughty."
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Band plays jazz music ]
-I'm, like, winking like the dog.
-Yes. -I'm happy they're all here.
I want to embarrass your mom a little bit,
if you don't mind. -Oh, she's --
Yeah, she's gonna [bleep] her pants.
-Because I love you.
[ Laughter ]
-No, no, no, Mom.
-No, she knows what's coming already,
and she's really going to -- yeah.
-This is a video.
You played the album for the first time.
-I'm so sorry, Mom.
-Yeah. Yeah. This is a video.
This is -- Of course, your mom is the most
honest person in the world. -Yeah, of course.
I mean, she'll always be the first person to --
I hear her, like, "No!"
-Yeah, yeah. But she's also being honest when
she loves it, when she loves it.
So here's the video. Your mom was driving.
-You'll always get the most honest reaction from your mom.
-You played the album for your mom
and here's your mom's reaction.
This is genuine, and she doesn't know she's being videotaped.
-Oh. Oh, my God!
Whoa!
No, Ariana, I'm not kidding.
That's the best song I ever heard.
-Ooh!
-Oh, my God! Holy [bleep]!
[ Cheers and applause ]
-That's the first review of the record.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-How's it going? -It's good.
I just saw Timothée Chalamet at Au Bon Pain. No big deal.
-It's actually pronounced "Aw Bwoh Pah".
No big deal.
-Mm, no, actually, if you're from France,
it's "Chah Bah Pah".
I know because my stepdad's from Paris. No big deal.
He taught me how to say "croi-saint".
[ Laughter ]
Anyway...
[ Cheers and applause ]
Anyway, we ordered the same drink --
large, medium oat milk, decaf macchiato,
no oat milk, please,
and an extra shot in a sippy cup. No big deal.
And the "Queer Eye" truck was parked right outside.
No big deal.
-That is so cool. On my last flight to Paris,
I got upgraded to first class.
I use points from my JetBlue, Jet Black, Platinum, Silver,
Bronze, Copper MasterCard.
It's made out of real copper.
It bends when you sit on it. No big deal.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Well, actually, I actually go to Paris every other weekend.
I pet-sit for Katy Perry. -Oh.
-Her cat lives there. It's named Kitty Perry.
Get it? I do. No big deal.
-I used to have a cat,
but then I got into baby hedgehogs.
They're illegal to have as pets, but it's totally worth it.
I named him Zanders. He's verified on Instagram.
Bella Thorne follows him. No big deal.
-Actually, I deleted my Instagram last year.
Oprah says that you have to be more present.
We were doing a Super Soul Sunday podcast
and we were lying on a hammock under a willow tree
and she looked at me and whispered,
"You have something in your teeth."
It was a chia seed. No big deal.
-Anyway, it's time for our first segment called
"But, Whatever".
[ Cheers and applause ]
Cassandra.
-I have so many weddings to go to this summer.
One of them is in England. It's an open bar in a castle.
It's Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's, but whatever.
-That is so rando,
because I just got my 23andMe results back,
and it turns out I'm 280th in line to the throne.
And I also found I'm prone to anemia and allergic to chicken.
But whatever.
-Yeah, I'm pretty stressed out, too.
You know, I'm opening my own goat yoga studio.
It's called Yogoat.
I have to find, like, 40 goats by Saturday
and get them vaccinated, but whatever.
-I used to do yoga like five years ago
when it was still a thing.
Now I do SwanCycle. It's like SoulCycle,
but they release an angry swan into the class
anytime someone stops pedaling.
She bites her ankles. It's really intense.
Anyway, let's move on to a round of
"OMG or NBRD".
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Pickles. -NBD.
-No, like, artisanal pickles that are literally homemade
with farm to table brine.
-Then OMG.
Me next. Sand.
-I mean, sand. I feel like there's a lot of it.
So, OMG, but maybe there's,like, was too much of it. Then NBD,
but then maybe because it's, like, so beautiful, then OMG,
but also, like, it's kind of scratchy,
so NBD, but then also it's kind of exfoliating, so like, OMG,
but then also like, it kind of can be too much sometimes,
so, like, maybe NBD. I don't know.
-Why don't we just call it a solid TBD?
Okay?
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Okay.
Last one -- Kentucky Derby hats.
-OMG. -OMG, yeah.
-I actually just got mine.
It's made from llama hair.
The llamas crochet it themselves with their little hooves.
It literally takes them ten years.
But whatever. It's okay, because all the money
literally goes back to the llamas.
It's totally environmentally friendly
and it's really expensive. Here. Check this out.
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
I paid for it using Euphorium. It's a new cryptocurrency.
I could basically be a billionaire. No big deal.
-Oh, really? Because my derby hat
was designed by Elon Musk.
It's a drone, and I don't even have to put it on.
It just hovers over my head. No big deal.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Me and my hat are actually going to Kentucky tonight.
We leave tonight, and then I'm taking
the Walmart yodeling boy as my plus one. No big deal.
-Anyway, that's all the time we have for "NBD".
Join me next time, when my guest will be Bella Thorne
and some angry swans. No big deal.
[ Knock on door ]
Hey, Ariana. You busy?
-No. Come in. Have a seat. Come on.
-Thanks so much for being here.
I always love it when you come on the show.
-Oh, thank you. It's always a blast.
Do you want a drink or something?
-Actually, yeah, sure. I'd love a drink.
-Oh, relax. I got it. Don't worry about it.
-[ Groaning ]
-Oh, I'm sorry. Do you want a different drink?
-No, this is great. It's just -- What's going on with the --
-Oh, my God. Sorry.
[ Sneezes ]
-Mm. -Thanks.
-Bless you. -Mm, thanks.
-Uh, so, I-I gotta ask -- [ Cellphone ringing ]
-Oh, sorry. Hold on. -[ Groaning ]
-Thank you. Hello?
[ Knock on door ] -Uh, do you mind signing...
-Raccoons? No. Raccoons are trash.
Like, an East African country or something.
-What the [bleep]?
-Okay, bye. I'm so sorry.
Oh, my God. What were you saying?
-Wait, wait. Ariana. Wait, wait. Stop, stop.
When did this whole thing with your hair start?
-I mean, I've, like, always worn it in a ponytail.
-Hey! Hey, hey! No, no!
That's my purse! My purse!
Stop that man! He's got my purse!
-[ Groans ] -I got this.
-[ Groaning ]
-Ah! Ah! Ah!
-Whoo!
-[ Groaning ]
-Sick. -Wow.
-Mm. -My purse. Thank you.
-No problem.
-That was amazing.
-Thanks, Jimmy. High five?
-Come on, let's take a selfie.
-[ Groans ]
[ Camera shutter clicks ]