I know that you are working with Ryan Reynolds.
I'm working, yeah.
So Ryan approached me about doing,
directing a John Candy documentary.
Right.
And I wanted to talk about this
because John Candy was one of my comedy heroes.
Yes.
I grew up watching SCTV.
And so many people know him from
Trains, Planes and Automobiles,
or Uncle Buck, or Splash,
but, you know,
I really saw him on SCTV and was
just enchanted with this guy.
And I had the opportunity to spend
some time with him when I was in college.
Oh wow!
I orchestrated basically a scam
to get John Candy to come and visit the Lampoon building.
Oh wow.
And I got to go and get him,
and chauffeur him around.
And I got to spend about a day and a half with him, I think.
And it was magical because he was,
he taught me a lesson.
He was everything I wanted John Candy to be in person.
And, you know,
sometimes that's not the case.
You know, you meet--
Majority of times.
Majority of times, you idolize someone,
you think they're great,
and you meet them and they're not that person.
And it's not their fault.
They're projecting something that we all like,
and then we want them to be that.
He was that times 10.
He was the John Candy that I was hoping he would be,
times 10, and he was great.
And I remember talking to him pretty late at night,
having a chat with him,
and he asked me what I was thinking of doing,
and I said I might like to try comedy.
And he looked through me, like into my eyes,
and he said, he said kid a lot,
like Johnny Leroux.
Kike, hey kid.
And he said, kid,
you don't try comedy.
You do it 'cause you have to.
Oh wow.
And I walked away from that thinking, he's right.
I mean, if I'm in,
I'm all in.
There's no trying it and, huh.
That's real, right there--
No, this isn't working out,
I think I will take the LSAT.
Instead you're like, actually I will take this LSD,
and just make jokes instead.
Right, exactly.
My god! What?
The LSAT's, were you gonna be a lawyer?
Yeah, that was my fallback,
and it still is my fallback.
Oh, okay.
What kind of lawyer?
Just whatever lawyer Kim Kardashian is,
that's what I'm gonna be.
She's a lawyer and I'm a lawyer.
Don't give up on your secondary dream.
(laughs) That's the most inspirational thing.
Never give up on your fallback.
You don't try to be a Kim Kardashian lawyer.
Never stop checking that safety net.
That's what Kim Kardashian would probably say to me.
You know, sometimes I think I might try being a lawyer.
You don't try being a lawyer/ owner of the Spanx empire.
Skims!
Skims, sorry, sorry.
Did I say?
Yeah, it's Skims.
Are they different?
Of course they're different.
They're two completely different brands.
But I mean, do they--
That's like Pepsi and Coke. Okay, okay, look.
Everyone's on me!
I know, I know,
I'm asking!
I made a mistake, I made a mistake.
Is it like Pepsi and Coke?
Yes, it's two different brands of like,
you know, getting it in.
is there, is there,
hey, can I ask a quick question?
Did we just come up with a different
term for pornography as well?
Getting it in?
Getting it, what is this?
Getting it right, getting it tight.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Trademark that.
Well, Erica Brown is always saying that.
Erica Brown.
She works here and she pretty much
runs everything here at the Conan Empire.
And Erica Brown, who is the queen,
she says get it right, get it tight.
My question is, is there a Skims/ Spanx for men?
I think there is.
Yeah, there is.
Is there, because I would like that?
It's just Spanx.
Oh, it's just me wearing?
There's just male Spanx.
There's male Spanx?
There are, yeah!
Are there male Skims?
I'm sure there are. Yeah, I guess.
I've gotta gotta have those.
Well, it's a little late now.
It's a podcast, you don't need them now.
I do!
No, there's some video here.
I hate to break it to you, but there's some video.
Oh, there is?
But why do you say it so conspiratorially,
or kind of sexually, like?
Well, because you know I have those weighted blankets?
Yeah? And it makes people feel,
the idea of me being held closely
all day in my various areas.
Oh, stop.
Various areas.
I'm not gonna buy them for you.
What's that?
You have to go do that yourself.
I can't go, you have to go.
You're my assistant!
I couldn't do that.
You have to go and say,
I'm here to buy some Skims/ Spanx for Conan O'Brien.
Hold on, we've got verification.
There are no male Skims yet.
Hey, let's get this out to the Kardashians.
No, no, no.
Don't give it to the Kardashians.
You create a brand.
Oh my God.
You do lawyering, and you do spanxing.
I have to mention this.
I think we may have mentioned this before,
but it just cracks me up.
You know, there's a lot of celebrities out there,
and Ryan Reynolds one.
He's got like an aviator gin, I believe.
I've got a company called Hankskerchiefs.
(laughing loudly)
I'm a patron of your company.
But not only that,
my jacket is literally lined with a Hankskerchief.
Oh, that's cool.
That is a wonderful lining.
See, it's got the little logo and everything.
Wait a minute, you know what I love?
Did you wanna sell handkerchiefs,
or did you have to because of the name Hanks?
The name I wanted to sell--
And what were the other options?
I wanted to sell kerchiefs.
I wanted to sell kerchiefs, and then as I was sitting there,
about four minutes after I thought of the idea,
I burst out laughing 'cause I thought of the name.
And so many people.
There was one group of people that were like,
no, you really shouldn't do that.
That's hard to pronounce.
And I said, it's easy.
Hankskerchiefs.
And they're like, no,
people are gonna think it's Hankskirchiefs.
And I'm like, you just said it!
Not a problem.
Yeah, that's not a problem.
So I did know that you were doing Hankskerchiefs,
and I thought that you didn't want to,
but because it fits your name, you had to.
You have to do O'Brien's potatoes.
I do, yeah.
Whatever, you know?
O'Brien's potatoes!
Do you like potatoes, Conan?
No, I can't have them.
They make me very ill.
So no.
You eat so many potatoes,
and then you need your special Conan O'Brien Spanx.
Yeah exactly, exactly.
Market demand.
You do Spanx, but just call them straight up Hanx.
Yes!
Listen, I will.
Listen, I will invest in the company.
Okay.
I think that you are the front man for the,
we call them Hanx, and it is male Spanx.
They can't sue you because that's your name.
You've had that your entire life.
That is true, that is true. And I will be an investor.
I also wanna be in on the design.
Great.
I have a lot of ideas about where it should hug and hold.
Okay, all the areas.
Why are people getting bummed out?
'Cause you say it in such a creepy way.
And then you hear you?
I'm empowering myself to talk about my body.
But when you say it, you don't understand.
When you say it, we are then forced to think about it.
You know what I mean?
And visualize it.
I'm visualizing it, and I'm telling you we're doing this.
We're doing it, we're doing it.
We can't release this podcast until we've, you know.
Oh, this was never going to be released.
Okay, good.
But anyway, back to what we were saying,
I'm so glad that you're doing this documentary on John Candy
because he was important to me.
I mean, I'm sure you're going to,
but people like Marty Short, they have great stories.
All of them.
I'm actually most excited about the ability
to be able to talk to as many people
that John worked with and was close with,
because everybody sort of feels the same.
There's not really anybody who goes, that son of a bitch.
I hated that guy.
Like, he really truly is a complete outlier,
because there is not a soul on earth
that didn't believe John Candy in that,
you know, hey,
I always believed him in whatever I saw him in.
He was the guy that was just as lethal
in a supporting role as he was in a lead role.
You know, I mean,
he could be the polka king of the Midwest,
and just kill for two or three scenes,
but he could also be Uncle Buck, you know?
And he really was just, you know,
and by the way, he would go off and make these,
he's part of that generation,
'cause I really look at SCTV and SNL,
that being like the first young
second graduating class of TV comedy,
that then you saw graduate and matriculate
over time and get into movies.
And yet he would go off and do these big movies,
and yet there's also like a handful of Canadian films
I've never seen that he went and did.
'Cause he would always go back home and do Canadian movies.
He had like a big farm,
I think, up there--
Yeah, yeah.
And so there's just this wealth of stuff out there,
and he was just so great in everything.
And what makes it so tragic is that, well,
I mean there's a lot of things that make it tragic,
but he really was on the cusp, I think,
of becoming like a really beloved dramatic actor.
And I think he was like one role away
from that actually really becoming the case.
'Cause the blueprint is all there.
I remember very clearly,
started my talk show in September of 1993,
and I'm on set,
because I used to always think one of the people
I can't wait to have on is John Candy,
because that's gonna like close the loop.
You know what I mean? I'll be able to tell him,
remember when I talked to you years ago,
and you told me this, and here I am!
And I remembered someone coming in,
and we were in rehearsal,
and someone told us that John Candy had passed away,
and I just deflated.
And couldn't believe it, 'cause it was such a loss.
He did a sketch, he was in a sketch,
an SCTV sketch that's one of, that's seared my brain.
It seared my brain.
There was a sketch, it was a promo for a television show,
a western called Yellow Belly.
And John Candy plays Yellow Belly.
And the whole song is, he's such a coward.
It's like Yellow Belly, The Coward.
And so he's dressed as this sort of cavalry soldier,
and he's shaking and quaking,
and he's afraid, and he's walking down the street,
and a woman and her daughter wearing bonnets walk by.
And the daughter, I think,
I'm getting this wrong, I'm sure,
but what I remember is the daughter
sort of whispering to the mom,
like, mom,
who is that man?
And she goes, shh honey,
it's Yellow Belly.
And John Candy turns and shoots them both in the back.
Oh my God!
I was watching that.
I was watching that with my brothers in,
I don't know, 1977 in Rhode Island,
in Misquamicut, Rhode Island,
at my grandfather's house,
huddled around a black and white TV.
And my mind exploded through my skull
that you could do that.
And then the song goes "yellow belly."
(laughs)
That was like your Hulk in the gamma ray's origin story.
Seriously, no.
I mean that, the idea was so wrong and so funny,
and he was so good in it!
And so when I finally got to meet him,
I just said,
I'm sorry, Yellow Belly.
And he was like (chuckling).
That's chuckle, chuckled about Yellow Belly.
Oh, that's amazing.
Well, I'd love to talk with you for the doc.
I make no promises that you'll make the cut, but.
Well, as long as you meet my fee.
Yes, I'll meet your fee.
I will.
All the brown M&Ms, I've read the contract.
(group laughing)
I've read the contract.