FOLKS, THE 2016 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION IS GETTING REALLY
EXCITING.
FEAR IS A TYPE OF EXCITE, RIGHT?
AND I AM PERSONALLY VERY EXCITED BECAUSE NEXT WEEK EVERY NIGHT
AFTER THE CONVENTION, THE LATE SHOW WILL BE LIVE.
AND I HOPE YOU WILL BE ALSO.
NOW THE BUZZ IS WHAT'S GOING ON RIGHT NOW IN BOTH CAMPS IS THAT
BOTH HILLARY CLINTON AND DONALD TRUMP ARE APPARENTLY ABOUT TO
ANNOUNCE THEIR RUNNING MATE.
CLINTON'S CHOICE WILL LIKELY COME NEXT WEEK.
BUT THIS FRIDAY TRUMP IS HOSTING A MAJOR EVENT TO ANNOUNCE HIS
PICK AHEAD OF THE REPUBLICAN CONVENTION IN CLEVELAND.
IT WILL BE LIKE LEBRON JAMES' DECISION, ONLY THIS TIME ALL OF
CLEVELAND WILL TRY TO FLEE TO SOUTH BEACH.
SO LET'S TAKE A QUICK LOOK.
AT THIS YEAR'S TOP PROSPECTS WITH THE LATE SHOW VICE
PRESIDENTIAL DRAFT PREVIEW.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) HI, I'M STEPHEN COLBERT.
WELCOME THE 2016 VEEP DRAFT PREVIEW WHERE WE TAKE A LOOK AT
WHO COULD BE NUMBER ONE AT COMING IN SECOND.
JOINING ME AS ALWAYS WITH ANALYSIS, A MAN I'M PROUD TO
CALL MY FRIEND, STEVE COLBERT, THANK YOU, STEPHEN, IT'S AN
HONOR AND A PRIVILEGE TO APPEAR ALONGSIDE A BROADCAST LEGEND.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU, STEVE, FOR ME IT'S LIKE LOOKING AT A
YOUNGER, MORE TALENTED MIRROR.
THIS YEAR WE'VE GOT SOME GREAT YOUNG PROSPECTS, SOME JUST
DECADES OUT OF COLLEGE.
LET'S START WITH THE LEADING CONTENDERS TO JOIN TEAM TRUMP.
ANALYSTS EXPECT THE PICK TO GO TO NEW JERSEY GOVERNOR CHRIS
CHRISTIE, FORMER HOUSE SPEAKER NEWT GINGRICH OR INDIANA
GOVERNOR MIKE PENCE.
(LAUGHTER).
>> Stephen: I'M SORRY, I FELL ASLEEP WHEN MIKE PENCE'S FACE
APPEARED ON THE SCREEN.
STEVE, WHAT'S YOUR REACTION?
>> GREAT FIELD, WHO KNOWS, IF TRUMP PICKS RUNNING MATES THE
WAY HE PICKS ACTUAL MATES HE COULD GO WITH ALL THREE.
(LAUGHTER).
>> Stephen: NOW LET'S DIVE RIGHT INTO THE NUMBERS.
STARTING WITH THE BIG MAN CHRIS CHRISTIE WEIGHING IN AT LET'S
JUST SAY LESS THAN IT USED TO BE, HE'S WORKING ON IT.
HE IS A BRASH, POWER PLAYER NOT AFRAID TO THROW SOME ELBOWS AND
AS HE HAS SHOWN WITH THE GEORGE WASHINGTON BRIDGE, THE MAN
REALLY KNOWS HOW TO SHUT DOWN THE LANE.
PLUS YOU KNOW HE WON'T GO FREE AGENT BECAUSE IT APPEARS TO BE A
HOSTAGE SITUATION.
OVER TO YOU, STEVE.
>> Stephen: THANKS, STEPHEN.
IF DONALD LEADS OFFER THE DRAFT WITH CHRISTIE, TEAM CLINTON
MIGHT HAVE A HEAVY HITTER LIKE ELIZABETH WARREN, A FAN
FAVORITE.
SHE KNOWS HOW TO FIRE UP A CROWD, A FAN FAVORITE WHO IS
KNOWN FOR HER STRONG SPLAI ON THE LEFT WING.
ANALYSTS SAY HER DRAFT ODDS ARE LOW BUT I COULDN'T COUNT HER
OUT.
SHE AND CLINTON ALREADY HAVE MATCHING UNIFORMS.
MEANWHILE, TEAM TRUMP HAS SHOWN GREAT INTEREST IN FORMER SPEAKER
OF THE HOUSE NEWT GINGRICH, AKA THE HUMAN SNOWMAN.
GINGRICH PLAYED CENTER IN THE CLINTON IMPEACHMENT HEARINGS OF
THE 1990ST AND IS LOOKING FOR A REREMATCH MATCH, GINGRICH IS
KNOWN FOR PILING UP BIG NUMBERS OF HIS OWN, OF WIFES IN THIS
CASE.
HE BRINGS THREE OF HIS OWN, MEANING TOGETHER HE AND TRUMP
COULD PUT UP A DOUBLE TRIPLE.
THAT'S RIGHT, STEVE.
PLUS TRUMP IS WILLING TO TAKE WILD SHOTS NO ONE ELSE WOULD
TAKE.
LIKE GINGRICH'S PROMISE THAT HE WOULD HAVE A MOON KOL KNEE BY
2020, A LITTLING PROS PECK BECAUSE IF TRUMP WINS, THAT'S
WHERE MANY AMERICANS WILL WANT TO LIVE.
HA, HA, HA, HO, HO, HO.
AND BOOM GOES THE DEMOCRACY.
BACK TO YOU, STEVE, FOR MORE ON TEAM HILLARY.
>> Stephen: WELL, THE EXCITEMENT BUILDS AS SECRETARY
CLINTON COULD PICK VIRGINIA SENATOR TIM KAINE.
>> I'M SORRY, SEEING KAINE PICTURE MADE ME GO A LITTLE MIKE
PENCE ON YOU.
LET'S LOOK AT KAINE PREDRAFT STATEMENT.
>> I AM BORING.
>> Stephen: BOOM, THE MAN NAILED IT.
(APPLAUSE) THAT'S GRACE UNDER PRESSURE
RIGHT THERE.
THAT STATEMENT REMINDED ME OF VICE PRESIDENT ALLBEN BARKLEY'S
FAMOUS DECLARATION, WHO AM I AGAIN?
NOW STEPHEN, WHO ELSE IS ON DRAFT DONALD'S LIST?
>> Stephen: WELL, COACH TRUMP HAS TAKEN A CLOSE LOOK AT
INDIANA GOVERNOR AND DEHYDRATED NEWT GINGRICH MIKE PENCE.
(LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE)
I DON'T WANT TO GO TO CLEVELAND, MOM.
I DON'T WANT.
>> WHAT?
HOW LONG WAS I OUT.
NOW JUST LISTEN TRUMP'S EXCITEMENT ABOUT THIS PROSPECT.
>> HE WILL BE CALLING UP MIKE PENCE, I DON'T KNOW WHETHER HE'S
GOING TO BE A GOVERNOR, A VICE PRESIDENT, WHO THE HELL KNOWS.
>> Stephen: ABSOLUTELY.
WHO THE HELL KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT MIKE PENCE.
I BELIEVE HE IS THE BEFORE PICTURE ON THE BOX OF JUST FOR
MEN.
GREAT ANALYSIS, STEPHEN.
BUT DON'T FORGET REPORTS ARE TRUMP'S LOOKING FOR AN ATTACK
DOG AS HIS RUNNING MATE.
AND AS UNPLE DICTABLE AS THIS CAMPAIGN HAS BEEN, HE MIGHT MEAN
AN ACTUAL ATTACK DOG.
IT WILL BE THE FIRST SINCE THE CANDIDACY OF VICE PRESIDENT
HOOCH.
WELL, THAT DOES IT FOR THE PREVIEW OF THE 2016 VICE
PRESIDENTIAL DRAFT, JUST THINK, ONE OF THESE POWERFUL FIGURES
COULD SOON BE CUTTING A REASONON AT YOUR MUNICIPAL WASTE
TREATMENT PLANT.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH BENJAMIN BRATT.