Scott Cawthon was heartbroken.
He’d just released his latest video game online, and had been hoping that maybe this
time, he’d have made something that people cared about.
The response was not positive.
For the most part, his Christian-themed cute animal game had been completely ignored by
gamers, and those who had given it a try were less than complimentary.
One particularly mean review for his game said that his character models were really
creepy, like some kind of terrifying animatronic.
Scott thought long and hard about that comment, before gaining resolve to keep trying.
If people thought his work was scary when he was trying to make children’s games,
they hadn’t seen anything yet!
Scott Cawthon loved making video games.
It had been his creative outlet for years.
Since he was sixteen, he’d been fascinated with building his own small gaming titles,
that he’d circulate online for people to try out.
Scott worked hard at game design, and found a rhythm that worked well for him.
He didn’t like to spend years working on the same project, so he found that short,
simple titles worked best for his attention span, and his sense of accomplishment.
Scott would release a couple of games a year, taking joy in the process of completing a
project, and immediately moving the skills that he’d learned into a brand new title.
A lot of Scott’s games drew inspiration from his Christian beliefs.
He felt, to a certain extent, that these games were a way for him to spread his faith, helping
children around the world to learn more about the Bible.
If anything, it was a fun alternative to long hours spent reading from a dusty book!
It was a hard thing to describe, this idea that he was gaining inspiration on game design
from an unseen force, and there were plenty of people who’d ridicule it, but Scott couldn’t
help but feel that he was meant to do this.
Every time Scott released a game, he’d enjoy a brief period of excitement at seeing how
people reacted.
After years and years of work, though, he slowly found himself struggling to keep going.
Family commitments became greater, as Scott had to balance game creation around a full
time job, and time spent with his children.
He wasn’t as young as he’d once been, and he no longer had the luxury of spending
days on end working on his gaming projects.
With this drain on his time, came a greater desperation.
Scott was finding it harder and harder to justify the time he was spending on his games,
when they weren’t proving successful, and weren’t making any money.
For a time, he felt very lonely.
He’d spent years attempting to build something that shared God’s teachings, if only in
his own special way, but he didn’t feel like he was getting anything in return.
Throughout all this time, he’d always felt that God was pleased with what he was doing,
but after so many years, and with so many other pressures on his time, he wasn’t sure
if he could feel that reassurance anymore.
Quite aside from anything else, it was disheartening to see people ignore his games, time and time
again.
What was he doing wrong?
Why couldn’t anyone see the hard work he’d put into his games?
Above all, how, in an increasingly busy and crowded online world, could he even hope to
compete for attention among others?
The final straw came when Scott received some hurtful comments from one reviewer.
His game looked creepy and wrong, he was told – his art style simply didn’t make for
an enjoyable experience.
And so, Scott quit.
He’d had enough.
He had too many other things to do, and he was tired of struggling to find time for making
games when he could be focusing on his family, and on earning the money he needed to support
them.
That was that.
Time to grow up, and face the facts: he was never going to succeed as a game developer.
Except, Scott couldn’t really stop himself.
He had a passion that drove him, and had been his primary purpose for existing over so many
years.
He didn’t know what he was if he wasn’t a game developer, and he just couldn’t bring
himself to stop thinking of game ideas.
The more Scott thought about it, the more he realized that he shouldn’t be making
games for anyone but himself.
A few negative comments shouldn’t be the end of the world, because it really didn’t
matter what others thought.
Whether Scott was making games for an audience of millions, or whether he was simply making
them for his own kids, it didn’t matter.
What mattered was making games.
And with that, Scott felt impressed that God was pleased with his decision to continue
making games.
This time, though, he got the feeling that he should try something different, just once.
Maybe there was a good game he could make that didn’t feature a Christian theme.
Scott began thinking more about the negative comments he’d received.
If people thought his designs were scary, why not use that?
Why not make a simple horror game, and see how well it turned out?
To Scott’s surprise, this was actually a lot of fun, if a bit creepy.
A few times, while programming, he managed to scare himself, as character models jumped
out at times he wasn’t expecting.
It was all he could do to apologize to his family for shrieking while staring intently
at his computer!
After only a few months of work, Scott finished his new game, Five Nights at Freddy’s.
He felt please with the game.
He’d got a lot of his frustration out of his system, and had made something that wasn’t
his usual style, but that he could ultimately be proud of.
He happily launched the game, the same as all his others, and immediately began thinking
about his next project.
After all, Scott wasn’t going to stop here!
He’d achieved his goal of making a new game, and he’d learned that the process of making
games were their own reward.
It didn’t matter what people thought of his attempt at horror.
Except…well, it didn’t matter what people thought, but, as it turned out, they thought
his new game was pretty good.
Scott watched in wonder and awe as the internet exploded with admiration for his little indie
game.
He couldn’t keep up with it – the game was an instant smash hit!
Finally, everything he’d worked towards over the past decade made sense.
He felt like he’d been led to this, and that while he’d had plenty of trials along
the way, they’d all been designed to help him succeed in his goal of becoming a world
renowned game designer.
Each and every one of us will face moments like Scott did on his darkest day.
We’ll be encouraged to quit, to give up, and to move on.
Sometimes, that might be the right thing to do, and it’s up to us to spot those moments.
But it’s important for us all to remember that we can only succeed if we keep going.
Above all, we need to push ourselves, not for some great, impossible future, but out
of a love of what we create, and the skills that we learn.
When we can be happy with the process of growing and developing, we’ll find that we truly succeed.