Hello, my name is Daniel and I identify as homoromantic asexual.
Today we’re going to answer the question “What is grey asexuality?”
This video won’t be comprehensive. I’m just going to be covering the basics of grey asexuality - or
greysexuality - to give you an accurate yet succinct overview of what greysexuality is.
Before we begin this discussion, you should probably have a good understanding of
asexuality. If you want to check out my video on the topic, it will be in the description below.
For a quick definition, asexuality is an identity defined as not feeling sexual
attraction towards people of any gender. Greysexuality is… difficult to define.
Greysexuality describes the spectrum of identities between asexuality and allosexuality – or typical
sexuality. And similarly, greyromanticism is the equivalent for the aro spectrum.
Sexual and romantic identities aren’t discrete, there is so much minute variation in people's
experiences that it’s impossible to perfectly capture how someone is feeling and how someone
experiences attraction with a single label. Greysexuality is basically another way of saying
"the ace spectrum". Anyone who is within the ace spectrum could describe themselves as greysexual.
It’s just a broader label to express that you feel sexual attraction less intensely
or less frequently than what is considered typical.
Obviously, there is a tonne of variation in the experience of a greysexual. Generally,
greysexuality is defined as an ace person who feel sexual attraction occasionally or very weakly,
or maybe under specific circumstances. What does this mean practically?
Obviously, that depends on the person, once again, but I’ll try to give some examples.
Just like asexual people, greysexuals who choose to date will typically value sex less
as a factor of compatibility between them and their partners than an allo person would. However,
they may be more likely to be sexually active in a relationship than an asexual person would,
because there are certain circumstances where they may feel sexual attraction.
In addition, greysexuality is different from just having a fluctuating sexual desire. Obviously,
everyone from time to time is going to want sex more or less. The thing about greysexuality is
that you cannot feel sexual attraction except for in these very rare or very specific instances
where it does occur. Someone who is greysexual could even not feel sexual attraction for weeks
or even months on end, which is definitely not typical in most people's experiences.
Why would someone use the label of greysexual? It’s a very broad label, so
it might just be that they don’t feel they fit anywhere specific on the spectrum. Especially
if they don't feel comfortable sharing things about the way that they personally feel sexual
attraction. Other than that, some people just prefer more broad labels, in the sense that
they don't feel it's necessary to specifically define their orientation. By communicating that
they're greysexual, it communicates that they sometimes feel sexual attraction,
maybe more than an asexual person, but they feel it significantly less than someone who is allo.
And that’s all there is to greysexuality. At the end of the day, it is the choice of
the individual to identify as greysexual. If that’s the label that fits them best,
then that label should be respected. Identities help us better discuss our experiences and find
people whose experiences are similar to our own. Going forward with this series, I’m going
to be covering other aspec microlabels and identities, and if there's anything in particular
you want me to cover, then feel free to let me know in the comments down below.
Other than that, I hope you have a wonderful day, and I shall see you next time!